I was reading Whiteknight's thread and Orchid's reply and wondering about how many affairs end in which the OP simply won't let go, and resorts to destructive means to hurt their former lover and family?

After reading WK's thread, my situation doesn't seem too bad. I'm sorry WK, I'm not trying to "belittle" the pain and frustration that you're dealing with....it's oddly comforting to know that I'm not alone in dealing with a fanatical OW. I'm dealing with the legal system myself, and I feel that this is only the beginning.

I apologize in advance if this post gets a bit long, I'll try to keep it short.

My husband had an A with a co-worker. After he broke it off, she started sending emails to us, pretending to be her brother, etc, demanding money for an abortion (that she never provided proof of). When that tactic didn't work, she then stated that she had had an ectopic pregnancy that was part of a clinical trial in which it was moved into her uterus. Again...no proof.

She tried to extort money from us by saying that if we didn't pay her $5000, she would go to HR and have us fired, claiming sexual harassment. When that didn't work, she started gossiping around the office, making my husband and I out to be horrendous people who treated her badly.

At the end of March, we got tired of all the voice messages she was leaving on his cell phone, so I went and had the number changed. The next day, while I was home alone doing housework, the police came and wrote me a $300 ticket for making "abusive phone calls" to the OW at work. Again....no proof. Did I do this? NO!!! I have been through 2 court dates, and will have the 3rd one next week. Yes, I am fighting this.

So, in the meantime, we simply let her send emails to us, adding them to the pile of evidence. At the end of May, we took everything to an attorney and got a restraining order granted against her. She did not show up in court, so it was approved immediately.

Come to find out that there were some emails in my case file that "appear" to be from my husband to her stating that he's sorry that I harassed her. These emails are fake, and I had to retain my attorney again to help get me acquitted with this charge. Also, I have discovered that I now have an arrest record. So much for my reputation....but I will not stop until it's fixed.

Since the A ended and the OW has resorted to this behavior, we have spent over $2000 in attorney fees, had to get a P.O. box for our mail, have a security system installed for the house, cancel our credit cards (she informed my husband that she had his social security # and listed it in an email), had all 3 credit bureaus flag our info, we account for every minute of the day, hide our car when one of us is home alone, etc....

Why are we resorting to such drastic measures, you may wonder?

We met her previous victim in which she has totally ruined his life. She cleaned him out of over $110,000 ($20,000 of which were his legal defense fees). Up until a month ago, she was still harassing him. He was a bit nervous as to why she suddenly lost interest....it was because she was now focusing on my husband and I.

This poor man has served 5 months in jail, 1 year of probation and has his reputation utterly ruined. All because the OW filed a restraining order (out of spite) against him and then called the police constantly, accusing him of anything she felt like. She got away with it. He calls her "a professional victim". She is also manic-depressive (bi-polar) and NOT on any medication for it. So, she's highly unpredictable. Nice, huh?

She won't get away with it this time though. Remember those emails I had mentioned earlier? She doesn't realize that the header information gives the sending and receiving IP addresses....she sent them to herself!!!! My attorney is working on proving this to the city attorney. In fact, ktbunch has been giving me advice on this.

Am I out for revenge? No....I want this woman to realize that you can't accuse someone falsely and expect to get away with it. I want her credibility, or lack thereof, to be proven in court. We'll see what happens Wednesday.....

Ok, sorry for the long post, and the rant. I was just curious as to how many other people end up dealing with "psychos" after the A was over with.

Arabesque,

No real psycho activity here, but at the "break up" H was legitimately worried that OW would show up on our doorstep planning to do who knows what. She said some things that really creeped him out, and he mentioned "Fatal Attractions". Come to think of it, I don't really know what she DID say... I don't think it was anything specific, just general "teasing" veiled threats. She did leave a message on the ans. machine saying "You never know, you might just look out your window and there I'll be" -- stuff like that.

H was a basket case for a little while. He said he wouldn't have been surprised to come home and find a rabbit boiling in a cauldron on our stove, and her in our kitchen. Sounds awfully funny now, but she went a little wacko over him not wanting an R with her any more and he was convinced she was emotionally unstable.

Lucky us, the worst she did was send holiday greeting cards with no return address and no signature. *whew*!

Arabesque -

Anyway you could press changes against her for defamation of character? or harrassment?

If you're gonna go...go all out!

It seems like you could present evidence from her former victim to the judge. What do you think?

I'm not familiar with WhiteKnight's story but I had someone on her tell me our's were very similar. I've had protective orders, restraining orders, court dates, been held at gun point, and lost my job, all because of OM. Currently we are in the process of closing down my WW's previously succesfull business because he has caused more trouble there than anywhere else. I told WW yesterday that I figured he had cost us about $150,000 at this point. Read my post from today and you can see the latest installment.

WS is still with Wacko Woman. The day they break up I honestly feel sorry for him. She will have this baby to hold over his head (if it's even his). I don't think he honestly realizes what he is in for. Only time will tell.

I feel sorry for everyone who has to go through this. Shows you just how unstable OW really is.
OM too.

<small>[ June 17, 2004, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Cyn1018 ]</small>

In answer to your question, HW....we've done a bit more research and are going to try to get her for "malicious prosecution". Our attorney said that we couldn't charge her with extortion, because she didn't threaten us with physical harm. Actually, on the day we filed the RO, she sent my husband an IM informing him that the Amy Fisher story was on at 3 pm.

Her previous victim and his wife came to court with us when the RO was approved. We're hoping to get his "file" opened and some of the charges either dropped or erased. Then, if all goes according to plan, the OW will be charged with perjury, producing false evidence, and whatever else my attorney can get her with. The end result is that we want her to serve some jail time, and have her previous victim sue her for custody of his little girl that she uses as a pawn against him.

At the very least, she definitely needs psychiological help.

My getting acquitted of the ticket is not really the main issue here....it's about the other victim getting custody of his daughter and putting a stop to the OW's manipulation of the legal system.

If both of our families can prevent her from destroying another family, then I'd call that a victory.