LowOrbit: Excellent point. I too had the "opportunities" to participate in A's. I believe it was my self worth that probably helped steer me clear of this.

I also, know that my FWW had felt like she had lost who she was. That she was doing everything for me and had nothing for herself...no career, no respect for being a SAHM or the like. She had tried writing and received further rejections from that.

In our case the OM was a predator. Things that he said weren't taken as flirting or him trying to get in her pants, not at least until he set the emotional hook.

Running: You got a lot of good posts here, and it appears that from your posts they may be helping. This may sound weird, but I pray that this place does help both you and your W.

I was here 1 month before I posted anything, another two months before the W posted. However, it was one avenue that I could talk to her; like a 3rd party that gave me openings to talk about the A with her. Truth be told, there are still a few things that I haven't asked about, that I still wonder about. At this point, I will probably let them go. I try to look at these questions now and see how they could help me by knowing the answer and I'm not sure that they would, so hence I won't ask them. Good luck and hold on tight.