Hey everyone,
I was reading the thread about "fogese"...stupid things the WS has said, and I admit I took offense to that. But, I'm to the point where I have to almost laugh at some of the things the OM said to me during the A and thought I'd start a thread on that for fun. It's nice to be able to laugh at myself for falling for this stuff! Oh, and it was pride that caused me to take offense to that other thread...it really is pretty funny stuff!

"I can't be trusted...except with you I can be."

"I'm the devil....you're an angel"

"You remind me of my first love."

OM had multiple past affairs and when I asked him why, these are some of his responses:

"I always let THAT control me" (as he pointed to his crotch!)

"I don't know, I guess to make sure I really wanted what I already had."

"I felt sorry for them."

"All they wanted me to do was screw them."

Ad nauseum:

"I never thought about divorce, until you."

"I'm the devil in disguise. I'm a con-artist."

"You changed me."

(Obviously I believed that last statement, otherwise I couldn't have continued in the A, knowing his past)

There's more, but I can't remember right now. That should be enough to get going, eh?

Have fun!

I actually think this is a very good idea...

and because I am BS not WS ... I can't contribute...

but, I like your idea so much I am bumping it to the top for perhaps more replies.

Thanks...

Pep

OW said a lot of crazy things to me as well, but I can't find any humor in them. Only sadness. I believe the SHE thought she meant them when she said them. She was as lost as I was.

Low

Here are some things my WS said.

"I only care about her for the baby."

"I don't love her, but if I go live with her I can fall in love with her"

"I bought her the shoes because she said she needed some."

"We are having a baby together."

"I only call her because she calls me."

"She won't leave me alone."

Things said by OW:

"He told me, he can't give up either of us. He loves me because I can laugh and joke, but he loves you too."

Says to me:
"You are deserve better and I do too."

"You need to kick him out because he is using you."

"I'm pregnant, What do you think about that?"

Says to Husband:
"But I thought you loved me, I guess I was just a peice of [censored]."

"You will pay for this, you will never see your child."

Says to me:
"I am sorry to disrespect you like that, but we did it in your house."

"We never broke up."

<small>[ June 18, 2004, 10:04 AM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

Originally posted by LowOrbit:
I can't find any humor in them. Only sadness.

Orbit.... sharing your experience (famous lines) might just open up eyes of other WH who might be lurking and they may see ..... the pattern ---> realize that affairs tend to follow a script.

Don't do it to be humorous ... share to be generous.

Or not.... but I think it is part of the learning process..

When Mr. Pep goes to AA meetings ... all the "drunks" (what they call themselves) tell each other the lies they told themselves to keep drinking ... and it is cathartic for the person who shares ... and comforting to the newcomers.

But.... I am perhaps twisting your arm too hard... sorry.

I care,

Pep

<small>[ June 18, 2004, 10:13 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

You're not twisting it...

I suppose it's pretty heart wrenching for me to reach back a recall these things.

I suppose the ones that come to mind are:

"I have always idolized you"

"You are the best lover I've ever had. I will never let you out of my bed."

"If this is the only way we can be together, then this is good enough for me."

"Our children would be beautiful."

"You make me feel like a real woman."

"I feel beautiful when I'm with you."

It hurts to write these things...

Low

Here's the best/worst one my WW told me OM said. You need to stop IC becasue your H is purposly trying to drive you insain and if you go to IC he will take the kids away. Pretty sad when you really think about it. The worst part is she believed him and quit. I never did figure out how I was trying to drive her crazy when she was the one having the A and I was the one trying to hold the family together.

Only words,

W's  OM said, "Just think of it as *Keeping The Boss Happy*"!!

"This is making my sex life at home even better".

Also at the 2nd encounter when W was saying that this is wrong, we're both married and that she had NEVER done anything like this before,

His response was, " Me Neither.........With A CoWorker."

Think that might be a Red Flag?
Considering that he then proceeded to have a 2nd concurrent A with another of my W's friends and coworkers, I'd say yes.

One of the one's he used on them both:
"If only I'd met you Before I met my wife...(Sigh)...There may have been a future for us".   
What future is that? You cheating on me with her? 

& of course classics
"What our spouses don't know won't hurt them"
"We're just 2 adults doing what feels good"

Wasn't going to post, since I'm a BS, but when I read LO's I had to (since a couple of lines were so close).

OW to my H:

"You make me feel like a woman."

"I feel so beautiful when I'm with you."

"I know I'm just dreaming, but wouldn't this be the perfect evening (then goes on to describe something that she and H would do."

"I want to make love to you. I know there's all kinds of feelings and emotions tied up with that, but I feel those things for you."

H to all OWs:

"You are incredible in so many ways."

"I like/love to listen to you talk."

"You are so beautiful."

"I love my W but I'm not in love with her."

"You are so sexy, look at you."

"You are such a hottie."

"You fit perfectly in my arms." or "You feel good in my arms."

All of the OW's seem to focus in on the "like/love to listen to you talk" line the most.

Last OW to me:

"You have no idea of the feelings that FWH and I have for each other. You think you know, but you have no idea." This was after 1 1/2 months of NC.

"You go ahead and continue living in your dream world."

"I lied to you to make you feel better. I thought if you thought I went after your H instead of the other way around, you would feel better."

"I've only been with my own H and your H (in two A's), who have you been with?"

"You mean I should get an Aids test?" After informing her that my H has had multiple A's - that she was NOT special.

"So how am I doing? Do our stories match up?"

Take care all.

sss

"I am so sorry, please don't hate me"
"I love him so much you do not understand, he is my world."
"he is so sensitive, caring, loving, he is an exceptional person, take care of him."
"I am so IN love, I cannot help it."
"we have so much common."
"I know I must make a reason, but I can't...it would kill me not to see or write to him."
"I don't know his last name, but does it matter?"

ROFLMAO==rolling on floor laughing my [censored] off

Yeah I'm crazy!

I can go on and on on on.. but I won't..

Oooooo. I've got the "Smack Yourself in the Forehead Dumb" Award winner here.

OW to me after I called and told her that I would inform her boss of her A with my H if she didn't respect his request for NC. Are you ready for this one folks?:

"I can't believe how immature you're being about this."

Riiiiiiiight. Because clearly, forgetting you have a husband and kids at home so you can screw around in a parked car with a married man like a couple of horny teenagers is the GOLD STANDARD for maturity. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

More "classics" I heard from the OWs:

"I know if I were in your shoes, I'd want me to back off, but I'm going to be selfish, I'm going to do what I want, and I'll spend as much time with your H as I feel like it. I deserve it."

"No, there's nothing going on. I would definitely tell you if there was."

"There's nothing going on, but even if there was, it would be between him and me. It's none of your *^*&^*& business."

After d-day:

"You had no right to tell my husband. How could you be so cruel?"

(Uh-huh. And your lying to him and screwing around on him with my husband was, what, charitable?)

I can laugh about all this now. But I think you guys were looking for "lines" that the OPs used to "lure" the WS. I have a few that H passed on to me:

"My H doesn't even try to understand me." (This said while her H was voluntarily going to MC with her.)

"You'd make a great dad to my kids." (Based on what? The fact that he spent weeks not even speaking to his own kid so he could spend more time with her? That makes sense.)

I could go on, but I think not.

As the EA was progressing towards PA, OW apparently told my soon-to-be Wayward Husband about a dream she had one night that they were meant to be together <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

DumbA$$ fell for it left, right and centre. He said that was the big turning point that turned EA to PA.


OW to me when she phoned me on DDay +1. :

"You can call me names, you can scream at me, you can do anything you want"

..... in fact, I did nothing of the sort at any point when I spoke to her ..... I only wish I had!

" I will not answer any questions at all from you"
..... maybe I should put WS on the line then??

"We haven't done anything wrong"
.......... riiight. Apart from having sex in my bed with my husband. Hmm.....

Ow to me on D-Day
I tell everyone I love them, That's just my way.
You just think I am having an affair with your H because I am a single mom. We always get blamed for that.
Why would I want your H? You have 4 kids one of them a baby. Mine are all grown. I would not want to be "Mommy" to a little one again
( AS IF!!!)
Post D-Day
OW to me.
Putting a tape recorder is ILLEGAL! I responded with, " So is adultery."

BJ's are not considered adultery.

You don't have to worry about me anymore, I am taking my H back.
(Yeah we know how much marriage vows mean to her)

Its all YOUR fault that my boyfriend #1 broke off with me. (yeah I told him)

And the drum Roll PLEASE...
Boyfriend #1 is the appetizer, Boyfriend #2 is the salad, Your husband is dessert... But My own husband is the main meal (no wonder she is overweight)

Things she told my H...
Your wife is having an internet affair (absolutly NOT true)
Your wife might be young (compared to her) thin and beautiful, But I have it all inside.

You are the only one that understands me.

You can have a divorce and still have a great relationship with your kids.

I don't understand why your 18 year old DD hates you and me. Your wife must have poisoned her mind.

You shouldn't sleep in the same bed as your wife, It would be like cheating on me. (but she can have 2 other bf's and a H!!)
Sheeesh... Theres much more but it just boggles my mind!

Another line from onlywords OM: If you want me to stop sleeping with you, then sleep around with another guy.

huh, wasn't that me? her H? It's ok for him to sleep with her if she's only sleeping with her H, but add a 3rd guy and it's not. What a warped mind he has.

Thanks for all the posts, a truly interesting thread into the demented mind of the OP.

All,

This is from my H's OW 11 months after d-day. Even though a NC letter was sent by my H the day after d-day. She left messages and wrote him letters in spite of the NC letter.

“Hi WH, this is OW, um I don’t know if you got my message yesterday.

I was just calling to sort of check in, um I wanted to talk to you personally; but this will have to do.

Um I wanted to make sure that you and BS and the boys were doing well and fine.

And I wanted to say uh that I miss you as a friend,

And I certainly apologize for the disruption that I caused in your life um, I am truly sorry for that.

So I hope that things are going well for you, and I wish you all the best and um

So you don’t have to worry about, and anymore I won’t give you another call. Goodbye.”

The end!

She continues to try to see him and has succeeded. FWH is contacting a lawyer to send her a letter on our behalf.

Passed onto me through my WH from the homewrecker:

"She doesn't even want to know anything about you".

-Duh,she is already pretending that I don't exist,you have no children and are not married! Puke

"She feels badly about the homewrecker image"

-Well,that's just too darn bad.If you sleep with another woman's husband and help destroy a marriage and family,YOU ARE one.

"If you call her one more time she is going to call the police on you".

-Go ahead,MAKE MY DAY! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

After D-Day from WH: "She's very concerned about you."

Read: "...but not enough to get her mouth off my d***."

And here's my all-time favorite, OW to mutual friends: "WH is the only one who will receive my love! I have so much to give!"

Read: "I basically have no talent for loving, so I think I'll break up this family to satisfy my temporary needs." While she has "so much love to give," apparently this mostly takes the form of giving her opinions everywhere.

Om to my WW "You won't lose your daughter" Yeah right infedility is a crime in Texas. How about the classic "Let's run away together" Where to the unemployment line, since they are coworkers and would be terminated. My WW also said OM told her "I have never known any one like you." Why,because you are a manipulating sleeze bag. What really makes me mad is that she allowed her self to be manipulated, he put sooo much pressure on me. My answer to that is, "you had no obligation to him." But you do have an obligation to me and your daughter. Working late RIGHT.

How about this?

H: " I am in a bad patch in my relationship/marriage"
OW " Awww So am I. I just got thrown out by my bf. He says I'm selfish"
H: " I have a 5 year old I love very much"
OW: " I have a daughter who is the light of my life"
H: "would you like another beer?"
OW: " wow I really would. Gosh we have sooooo much in common."

This was the conversation between two grownups in a bar on a weeknight while their "loved" ones were at home.

Altogether now can you say "FOG"??

This one was the OW to me, on the phone, a day or so after DDay. She called me to tell me all the things I didn't know about her and WH. Guess that was because she was mad she didn't get to tell me about the affair - WH told me because she was threatening to and he was trying to beat her to it to put his "spin" on it.

WH and I have no kids.....

OW: "Well, I have a young daughter here crying her eyes out because she misses XXXX (my WH) and wants him to be with us.
Me:"So? What kind of a mother lets her young daughter get attached to a man who is married to someone else?"
OW:"He told me it was basically over between the two of you. And I'm the one dealing with a child crying her eyes out now."
Me:"Oh, well, I guess that makes you 'Mother of the Year' then."


She was (and maybe still is, I don't know?) married then too.