I have posted before and i have mensioned that I have a telephone recoder and monitoring their morning phone calls.....
It's getting too far W seems to be nervious about what is going on and the OM is telling her he does not care and his heart is with her not his W!!!! My W does not respond well over this but she is still keeping the A going.......
yesterday took the cake and i could not handle it anymore with their phone sex and the sex they had the previous night, it was hard to hear....
He is treating my W like a WHORE!!!!!!
I am very angry and I fely like just going after him......tha would probaly put me in jail.....
I cant believe my W is doing this to me and my three children that love hear very much....
I need to take action to this and figure out how to approach this..... do I call the OM W first or my W or both at the same time, I dont know but I still want to save my marriage.....
She is also seeing OM that I confronted her with a few years ago but the co-worker is more heavy i find, but the OM's dont know about each other though?????
I really need help on what to do and take action but I would like not to reveal the tapes if I could but I will if I have too!!!!

Please help.
Thanks.

Let the OM's wife know, the sooner, the better.

So sorry you are here.

I have always seen advise:

Let OM wife know. Do not tell wife. She will warn OM. This is part of exposing the affair.
PS: Could you tell me about the telephone recording. How do you do it without wife knowing about it. My WH says affair ended in January and I am suppose to just trust him. Recently he made a three hour trip to where OW lives and spent the night in the hotel, but I am suppose to trust that he was alone. I think he expects too much trust out of me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ June 18, 2004, 01:42 PM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

You buy a phone recorder from a spy store and it's designed to only record when the phone is on. but be aware the things you hear may be very disturbing to you b/c the could be real or just words, i hear my W say things to him that were not true at all just talk....
Make sure your H will never find it, I had to create another phone line hidden.

Rememeber that recording any conversation without both parties consent is most likely illegal, EVEN if it your own phone and your spouse.

hi Chris,
I know it is illegal. But you get desparate when somebody is putting you at risk for diseases. Deeppain, I thought of that but my husband is a clean freak and there is probably no where I could hide it. I also am limited on money. I can kick myself in the butt for not going to that town and looking for his car at the motel to find out if he was indeed there alone as he has assured me he was.

<small>[ June 18, 2004, 02:23 PM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

Hi DeepPain,

Sorry I didn't mean to hyjack your thread. I hope somebody else will respond to you soon about contacting OM's Wife. I know what you are going through is so very painful. I have felt the coldness and rejection when you just want your woman to say I am sorry honey. I made a bad mistake. I will love you from now on. It doesn't happen that way. Instead you get justification for why they did what they did, and withdrawal because they feel guilty. This is one of the most painful things you can go through. It feels like they ripped your heart out and stomped on it, then handed back to you and said, I'm sorry honey but I just couldn't help it. And we still love them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Thanks Genia,
It is very hard especially when you hear your W talking like that to the other guy.....
I really dont care at this point if it's elligal, my W keeps lying to me and sneaking out that I was so deperate that I had to find out. My kids are so frustrated that I think my 14 year old Daughter suspects something and is keeping it in, she sometimes shoot's off her mouth...
I am just trying to decide how to do it....
DP

I calmly went over to OW's house and asked her husband if he had a minute. He was shocked, but believed me right away.

But be prepared if OM's wife does not believe you. That is very common too. And do not tell your wife what you are going to do. OM and her will be prepared with a "story".

deeppain, I think it is also imperative that you confront your W with this information immediately. I would tell the OMW first, but you must tell your W what you know.

Deep Pain,
I have posted on this subject many times. Go in person to see OM's W. Over the phone she's less likely to believe you. In person she'll see and experience your pain. I telephoned and it took her several calls to believe me. the first thing she did was confront her H. he said I always had it in for him and lied. As a safety net he confessed to in essence a mild EA. He said that in "another time and place" it would have gotten serious. It was a full blown PA/EA for both of them.

DO NOT TELL HER ABOUT THE RECORDINGS!
In just about every state it is illegal. You don't want OM to call police for revenge.

Make up another source of proof, if need be. Tell her you heard v-mails. If absolutely necessary tell her that you recorded your W on her end of the line in your house. Have they been together in person? Lie and say you hired a PI.

Tell her but hold back on exactly how you got info. You may need recorder later for NC checks.

cwmac

PS. Genia, Radio Shack sells the voice activated type for phone lines for about $100. They even sell them in states where it's illegal to record without permission. they assume the person recording is acting within the law.