Hey 3,

How is it with you? Where is that update with the recent convo's you have had with FWS?

I know it is getting better. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Just don't lose yourself in all this. Like I have.

I am angry at myself for letting your last post get on, like, page one million. LOL. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Forgive me please, I go thru what I go thru.

Please let me know and TOFT, and Luvbird, and all of us who Love you and care.

yeah, I know it's the weekend. Hope you have better things to do than me!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

bump^ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WEll I will forgive you for letting my UPDATE go over to page 1,000,000,000LOL .

I have been pretty busy as well around the house and now kids out of school (OH JOY) LOL all day long !

I was going to post convo's between me and H , but you know some I block out , forget and then theres the fights we recently had that makes me forget everything GOOD ! LOL

BUT this is normally for me anyway .

We are REAL BROKE , I think I told ya we went into a bad deal with someone and they owe me ALOT ALOT ALOT off MONEY !

Also H hates his job , the company sold and the new owners lets say are very CHEAP and only want there "OWN " work for them and in charge of things .

So with all the money presure, credit dept, house falling apart, hating his job ECT>

Things started to boil after I posted a not so bad upate . LOL

MY H is VERY needy always has been and also if I can't fix things well lets just say he then isn't to happy with me .

This is simalar to the way the A started ,,, I lost controll so when the captain needed help the crew (H) felt lost cause he never had to be the GIVER >>>>> and me well I am always the GIVER !

I figured this out this past year as well . but I am still learning that its really a hard job to give all the time ,,,,,cause I need to lean as well .

well I have more to chat about , but I am not going to if ya don't respond .... LOL

And how the heck are you ?? REALLY DOING???

What about your updates why don't ya share more ??

I listen real good and even get funny sometimes LOL


And TO4T has not stoped by at all and I am wondering whats going on .

OH MARK posted an update in RECOVERY I don't know if ya ever followed his story it was really a great ending .

BY the way the UPDATE is on page 10 not 1 mil.LOL

One of the convos me and H had , had to do with a freind who is going through some stuff with his live in girlfreind .

She is not comimg home for a day here and there and there is probbly someone else but this guy knows that he has dealt with this for years .

Anyway he was talking to him and I was so angry with his response to him.

He told him your an a$$ , she is cheating dump the SLUT and get someone else ,,, a person like that isn't worth it ,,, if they are going to cheat then they don't respect you at all ,,, she is doing it cause she can get away with it ,,, move on find some one new....

So this mad me real angry . Later when alone I told him hearing all that really hurt me ..
he wanted to know why?
Why cause you cheated and I stayed and took you back ,, so your saying people who do that are fools . He said, no everyone is different ,, MINE was nothing like that ,, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I had to let that go or I would of exploded .

Also when I updated things where as I said, then we started some work around the house again major projects (we do all together construction work ) he was angry all the time and nasty . If I asked anything he would fly off the handle and say that I am accuseing him of the A again . Also alot of "WHAT about MES" coming out of his mouth the past week .

This makes me uneasy ,, It was all about him all this time ... I stood by for him waiting for it to be about me and US more .

Its so hard to explain like 2 people .

For a couple of weeks its so great then a switch gets turned off and wammo someone else comes out .

OK I will post later.

3,

Hey, when FWS gets a goin' with he LBing on the home projects, just look at him and tell him it really hurts and when he is done being angry let you know and you will be back to help!!!

I am sorry that some one owes you a lot of money. I thought it was about the debt that H got into during the A. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

You are doing well hon. Keep up the good work. You know it takes some time. All in all, HURRAHH!!! for your one year anniversay of NC.

Me? I struggle. With the alcohol and all that. Anyway. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

GOOD NEWS. I have FINALLYYYYY!!!!been promoted. Head waitress after 9 years. One owner bought out the other. Fortunately, for me, it is the owner that I get along best with.

Now I NEED <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> to take all that information and get ON with my life....LOL

Anyway, so sorry I didn't get back to you before now.

Hope TOFT and Luvbird are doing well also. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Hon,

I tried to email you and aol is not recognizing your email address. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Please send me an email if you have changed your addy. I can't reach you.

I just lost a completely miserable post to you!LOL. ROFLMAO! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Perfect.

You know how to know me.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

MissM I e-mailed you , I don't see any problem with address try again to atach to the one I sent you .

Got to go set some pavers in the yard OH JOY !

KIds home on summer vaction ,,, OH when will school be all year long LOL I am pulling my hair out of my head . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hey Y'all!

3--I can relate to the being broke and H having a job he hates. We're in the same boat. That, combined with problems that I'm having dealing with some things (pregnancy & past losses) is taking a toll on us right now. We'll be okay, but I think it's time for a pity party!

Miss M--Congratulations on the promotion! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey! Nobody ever emails me! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Ok, I'll quit whining. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Luv- wow this went to page 3 fast alot of people on GQ lately (thats said) any way ...

I will give e-mail but will dealt in a day ok .

Outnumbered321@aol.com

do not make fun of e-mail or I will come after ya LOL

See how my hole life is about this family of mine the funny thing is my H even picked out my screen name .

And pity party I am there always a low moment even when things seem good for awhile . LOL

Being broke sucks !
ITS so messed up about my H hating his job but give it a rest already and find a new one he talks but is waiting for you know ME to help move him .

I was so mad last night I said ,, gee can I put a resume together and walk away from my JOB !

NO cause I didn't D him back them and you know the messed up part I could never walk from my job I am tied to it forever ....KIDS , and he will always be apart of my life as well .LOL

He told me my sense of humor has gotten really wild since the INSIDENT (A)

AND I hope nothing is wrong with the pregnace or you ?

IS every thing ok ???

let me know , PITY PARTY anytime girl ....

I will be on tonight H is PLAYING CARDS with the BOYS ,,,,,, OH JOY ! but we have no money >>>

Thats the $hit that kills me .

IF he can't spend then he ain't happy ,,,

AND if I complain that he spends then I an a joy kill and I am out to make him misarable ...

BOY he is as selfish as they come . ONe hard guy to figure out and live with.

Some times I can't belive I am doing it for 19 years ,,, so many twists and turns of his personality but yet the same ones are there ..

OK I am done .

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I will be on tonight H is PLAYING CARDS with the BOYS ,,,,,, OH JOY ! but we have no money >>> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Maybe you could snatch the money out of his wallet and replace it with monopoly money? Imagine him trying to ante up with that...LOL! J/K!!

Everything's ok. I haven't had any health problems, just dealing with psychological/emotional crap. I still haven't gotten into the whole pregnancy thing. I honestly didn't want to get pregnant, not now, probably not ever again. The biggest problem I'm having with it is that I've had several miscarriages and a stillbirth before. I know that if I hadn't got pregnant with my younger daughter when and how I did, I wouldn't have done it at all. Guess I should probably explain that...

After I had my stillborn little girl, Dr. said to wait 3 months before trying again, and take time to really think about it. Well I thought about it, and decided I didn't want to do it again right away. ExH had other plans. Basically, the "how" is, I thought he had put on a condom (like we had agreed), but he didn't. I got pregnant again about 2 months after the stillbirth. No major physical problems with the pregnancy (unless you count going into labor during a hurricane, and having it wind up being 25 hours of labor because the little booger was face up and didn't want to come out).

I think H just doesn't understand what I'm dealing with emotionally right now. I know he can't understand it really, because he hasn't lived it, but it does cause problems because I have bad days when I don't want to even get out of bed, or when I'm just snappy with everybody. He doesn't understand that it's not his fault, it's just hard for me to deal with all the emotions sometimes.

I actually considered abortion at the beginning and H and I discussed it, but I just couldn't do that. If it was just me, maybe (maybe--I don't know about that either), but I couldn't do that to him. This will be his first child, and he's talked about having kids for a long time (anybody remember the "let's make a baby" comment from him that was before NC???).

So anyway, that's pretty much what's been causing the problems around here (last couple days have been good though). That and the fact that I am sick of being broke! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> H feels the same way, but there's not a whole lot we can do about it. Jobs here are scarce and low-paying, and the pittance he's making at his current job is only slightly more than the pittance he'd be making if he did luck up and find another job. I wonder if there are any legit jobs from home that I could do?

Oops--think I started the pity party a little early--LOL! I'll be around tonight too, so feel free to keep the party going--LOL!

And where the heck did Miss M go? C'mon and join the party, girl! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That MM she be working to darn hard ! But we got to in order to not be half as broke <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> make sense LOL

Well the said part is I am giving the $hit fro brains for the poker game LOL Yep ! but he would cash advance it on a card anyway if I don't .Hes like that .

I understand where your coming from with baby position and if your patiance so will H . Didn't anyone tell him about he LINDA BLARE thing while pregnant LOL

JUst take it easy and have faith all will be ok .

I may do the monoply money thing anyway for a joke . The best is I still have my fear factor thing about it being about OW and not cards .

BUT what ya gonna do , you got to let go sometime , and I will have that fear even when he takes a $hit with the door closed LOL

ITs sad in away thoguh that the mind is programed to play this game with ya . BUT I sometimes amuse myself with it .

Sick I know ,,, I have faith in the fact that GOD will not give me anymore cause he better know I won't handle it well .

YES your honor I am guilty of murder in the first degree on both partys ,,, na just her I will let him live to torture him LOL

OK just joking I don't want a fire sqaud to come out of know where .LOL

And I need to find TO4T her humor is great where the heck has she been ?

I may have to shout out for her and get her join us .

MM hear from her ???

well LUV catch for some more pity not opening beer till 7pm . YOU and MM stick to the NON aloclic kind and I will make ya laugh anyway .

Belive me if I get on a roll you won't need nothing else ,,, just rember I really do love my H but I could crack ya up with the things this boy does . MORE to come

MISS M whens work over tonight ?? OH and hows the weight thing ?