In our 2nd year of marriage I let my hands roam on another man's body. My husband was at the gathering with us and I made him aware of the situation immediately. The situation had the chance to become much more but I couldn't do it being a married woman. My husband thinks this curiosity is completely okay. We even went out for breakfast with the guy the next morning. My hubby says that he knows that I love him only.

Now in our 4th year together, we are expecting our first child, and I had a jealous moment the other day when my hubby checked out a scantaly dressed woman. In our discussion about it I told him I knew it was because of my own insecurities about my body. And he replies "Yeah it's not like I would actually DO something", referring to the prior mistake on my part.

I could not breathe. I have never felt so awful, depressed, ashamed of anything in my whole life. I know it was my mistake, I know I will never be able to take it back, I will never forgive myself for letting me act so stupidly.

How can I ever get back to feeling worthy of his love? He deserves so much better. I love him with every ounce of my heart and soul. But I have been down since that conversation, and stare at the floor constatly, and I feel myself avoiding him.

Please help me be a better wife.

Having a child is not only major joy, it is also major stress for a marriage.
Sounds like your H is being defensive and having a knee "jerk" reaction to your jealousy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Your reaction to that remark sounds like you are having a major mood swing (don't hit me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) it happens a lot during pregnancy you become kinda oversensitive. I remember crying buckets over a silly commercial about kittens.
Not to dismiss or belittle these very real feelings you have but talk to your hubby, he sounds like an open minded person but with that remark he sounds like he hasn't properly processed the hurt he felt then. Hold his hand, tell him you do trust him, what kind of changes your body is going thru and what your insecurities are will help him help you through this,

BTW CONGRATULATIONS on your baby to be... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">posted by ihelms
" And he replies "Yeah it's not like I would actually DO something", referring to the prior mistake on my part."
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What made you so sure he was referring to your past incident when he made that comment? Could he have just been reassuring you of his love for you? Did you tell him how you took his comment and how badly you were hurt?

yes having a baby is a major work in progress isn't it?
and you will find that you are worrying about small things that ocurred and thinking they are earth shattering issues. All natural of course.

I have had 3 and every time the same thing happened, all those little insecurities came rushing out and seemed to overwhelm me at times.

Your H obviously never thought it was serious when you told him & if he was going to be angry or upset it would have happened before now. It was 2 years ago so if t has not been referred to as an 'issue' I think it's ok.
Don't let these worries upset you too much. I know they will seem so immediate.

If your H WAS referring to your little party misjudgement, and he may not have you know, I think you need to say to him to stop referring to it as it hurts you. He's more than likely having a little bit of a goad at you, probably not realising how much it upsets you. I'm afraid many spouses do things like that without realising the hurt.

But I really think you are ok. Believe it or not you can enjoy so much of this time along with the aches and pain.........LOL
So keep looking after yourself and leet us know how things are going.
All the best CL