My WH and I had built up to a good point of communicating and sharing. Still roller coaster but I had noticed he has in past been spending more time with me or family then he has at OW's.
Still sleeping there though but often times its just him going back there at 9 at night. And so there has been a definite increase of him being away from her.

My FIL passed away 8 days ago. Very hard for me to as he was like a father to me. Quit honestly the focus has been on how my WH is doing and my MIL and siblings.
But I have noticed WH as week progressed of him pulling away from me . . . even being rude.
He had a dear old friend come visit for 2 days this past weekend to spend time with him. I was so relieved. WH did not open up until the last few hours of his friend leaving. But friend did share enough with me later to tell me there is hope for our marriage. He didn't want to break confidence and honestly I have no desire to do that either. But he offered suggestions and support regarding marriage and he gave me impression that WH is doing okay with dads death (considering)
I just want to make sure WH is okay.

But I'm wondering with WH's increased lack of consideration and rudeness toward me (and others too, I should add) since his dads death . . . that maybe I should become not as easy to be reached. He is difficult to be around, and I almost did a majorly stupid thing this past weekend. He did and said some really rude things that really got me. And so I had packed some of his clothes up and went to OW house while I knew he was with his family. She wasn't there and I didn't leave anything. But I came really close of doing some LB'ing.
The attitude he has presently is very hurtful.
MC has advised me that some men go through an anger stage while mourning.
I'm so torn. I want to be there for him with his dad passing but all I'm getting is this ugly, super-callus attitude.
And yeah, admittingly there is some hurt on my part, in that I truly could use him to help me mourn his dads death too.
But I'm thinking it might be best to just avoid him for now, so I don't flip out and do something stupid.

I want to continue my plan A, as I believe it was working but not sure if avoiding would be or could be a good move in Plan A.

Help? suggestions? thoughts?

After his dad's death is a very good time to comfort and support him. OW has not been involved with his family and does not have the history. She will not know what to do.

If I were you, I would calm down and use this time to make major deposits in his love bank, no matter how he acts.

Thanks - I think you are correct.
He had a stressful day with mother taking care of business (acct./lawyers, etc)
I asked if he would be staying at moms for a while as I would come down to spend time with him IF he was going to be there. He didn't seem to enthused, more concerned about getting to bed early as tomorrow will be his first day back to work. I understand, I've no doubt he is not looking forward to going back to work.

We had cell phone problems - disconnected 3 times, but basically the last time I redialed. I just told him, "you know I still love you". And he said, "I'm glad" then the phone disconnected again. I didn't call back again, I figured our last few words were enough for now.

You are right this is a major time for deposits. I must really question myself. I feel so selfish, I've lost his dad too and am expecting him to take care of me . . . I shouldn't expect anything and just try to be there as I am for his mom and sisters.

thanks for the re-focusing.