Lisa,
Well, now it's over & yet newly beginning (Got to be kind of strange, HUH?)
Even though your last day was tough (What ELSE could it be)...still happy that you made it through.
Sorry to hear you didn't get as much support here as you may have needed on such a stressful day.
Also I'm sorry that your H wasn't more supportive. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> That was a mistake on his part. But we All DEAL with change in our own way.
I believe that cwmac is right on target with stating that your leaving could be a major trigger for your H. Even though I am sure he is pleased with you being away from the OM, he could be very confused with the other emotions this change is bringing out in him.
This is something YOU should be able to identify with.
Are you not, happy but sad, worried yet relieved, hopeful while remorseful AND all at the same time while going through this change?
So too is your H experiencing a whole host of emotions (& I'd wager some of them are one's he didn't expect to be feeling).
Also keep in mind that Not ALL his feelings are just about the A or OM.
Some of his feelings just have to do with you leaving a job you'd done for 17 years (remember he was comfortable with you being there too). Now (just like you) he has some feelings of insecurity associated with you "moving on".
So inside of him he is torn, to a degree.
Yes, part of him is happy you are leaving OM behind forever.
Yet, he is also worried (at least partly) about the future.
In addition, it appears that your H kind of got "used" to you continuing to work around the OM. (NOT claiming he was ever Happy with it).
Only that he got Used to it, on some level.
So another emotion he could be having, is like well "why are YOU leaving NOW?"
Kind of like a TOO Little, TOO late scenario.
This is just one of many types of conflicting emotions going on inside of him. So even though it IS HUGELY Disappointing that H wasn't Much more supportive, I hope you can recognize that he is having a hard time dealing with this change as well. You'll BOTH need time to adjust to it.
One regret I have, is that you couldn't have taken more time off in between the 2 jobs.
One weekend hardly seems like time enough to Mentally and emotionally let your self "change gears" inside of yourself.
I would have liked to see you get a week off in between.
I think that could have been a huge help to you.
The way it happened is that you had one day (SAT.) to mourn your loss & then 1 day (Sun) to get your game face back on for your new position.
That just doesn't seem like anywhere near enough time to stabilize these fluctuating emotions and prepare for your change in roles.
However, I realize that we can't always have the "ideal" situation.
I was only stating what I (me) would have liked to have happened for you.
However, I DO believe that you can and will make it through this time.
You've put up with a lot more, from what I've read.
I have Faith in you! SO YOU WILL make it.
I just wanted the transition to be as smooth as possible for you, on every level.
In any case, you may not get to read this on your very first day (as I'm sure your going to be OH SO busy) getting used to a new place, position and Routine.
Just remember your going to be Off balance for a while, and that it is natural. IT does take Time to get our comfort level back (sorry).
Anyway, I'll stop for now and let you get back to work. (Remember, 1st impressions!)
We are all thinking about you and pulling for you!
Have a GREAT first day!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (& even **Better** First WEEK!)
Later
