HI,
me and my H have been in recovery for a few months now after finding out about his EA w/a coworker. things have been up and down like expected, but tongiht i made a boo boo and need to fix it asap.

well i found out my H took 20.00 out of the ATm (we are filling bankruptcy etc and dont have th emoney) he never told me mentioned , well wehn i was balancing our checkbook i foudn out he had so i caleld to ask why. ( he has never taken or used an atm on this account b/4) he said to get some drinks and stuff at work or wahtever. he had a bad attitude and kept haning up on me. i made the mistake of calling him back. he ended talking to me very meanly with a bad attidutde when i said i will not tolerate the bad attitude he said then dont, then he said i'm at WORK W O R K do you know i actually make money (have been a stay at home mom start job making more then him in august) and he hung up on me again.

my gut wants me to acll and say 'if you ever speak to me like that again thats it" but i'm not sure maybe i should be the one apoligizing any insight please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sosad, is he usually this disrespectful? I sense he was probably very offended that you called to to question his spending at work, but his reaction seems very overboard. Not that this justifies his disrespect, but did you merely ask about the $20 or did you lecture him about it?

How would you feel if your husband called you while you were at work to say that he found out you spent $20 and demanded to know what it was for ?

What would your reaction be?

HI, he has a problem wehn hes at work of being overly stressed and he only takes it out on me this has been an ongoing issue. i feel at times like i'm his punching bag. i feel in the beginning i just asked him but the more he disrespected me the more i defended my asking and stuff it was problably mroe precieved as lecturing.

i was thinking of calling him and saying" hey i'm sorry i called you while yoru busy at work to ask you about the 20.00.

but then i dont know if i should aslo add that i do not appreciate him to speak to me in that way or just leave it at me apologizing? thanks again!

sosad, I would apologize for calling him at work to grill him over $20. That really is disrespectful and annoying. And I would tell him that you are very hurt about the things he said to you.

P.S. I wouldn't call him at work anymore, though, if it annoys him. Just wait until he comes home and walk up and give him a big hug and apologize.

Thanks guys i see how what i did was wrong thanks for the quick responses!