</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Robby hope you don't feel like this is a 2X4 but, you have to claim some ownership to this situation fellow. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not a 2x4 at all,

but I do think I have take FULL ownership...

It just doesn't seem to matter to W.

Also, don't worry, I'm not going to give up...

Until someone, like you guys, tells me it's in her best interest. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ July 11, 2004, 09:49 PM: Message edited by: robby13 ]</small>

Oh yeah...

W also wants to sell her engagement ring...

we need the $, my career is still in the crapper.

I'm against this.

We had a few more conversations tonight and I think it comes down to this:

My W doesn't TRUST my feelings for her. She doesn't trust that I will never do it again. She doesn't trust that my feelings have changed so much for her.

They have.

Even though it may be too late.

I think you're right, her defenses are WAY up.

I'll plan A my [censored] off!

Thanks for the encouragement! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ok, Robby, then it is as simple as this.

PROVE IT. Prove that you have changed. Prove that you love her,. Prove that you are a healed man, or at least, on the way to healing. Prove that you are changing, healing, or eliminating the things that slingshot you into an affair in the first place. Prove that you will never do this again.

Maybe she needs to pull back, because it will be in her telling you to go take a hike, that you will take the biggest test. If she pulls back, pushes away, AND you still remain committed, in love, and willing to meet her needs, that is a real testament to your love. You will PROVE that your words meet your actions. If you still love her, when she is telling you she doesn't love you, and you do this over time, maybe that will be the proof that she needs.

Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it.

And the only way you are going to do that, is over time. So it is going to suck for awhile. She needs to know for sure that what you are saying is matching your actions. And that is going to take time to prove. You have taught her that your actions do not match your words. So you need to give her time to learn about the new you.

I agree. Engagement ring should not go. But remember the policy of enthusiastic agreement. This means you both need to negotiate on a solutions until you both agree, ENTHUSIASTICALLY. So, if you don't want to get rid of the ring, maybe you should offer to get rid of something else. Or come up with some other possible solutions to your financial situation.

Hang in there...time will tell all. I think we all tend to give up too soon.

I sometimes wonder if that will be the case with me. I guess I waited too long to do Plan B, or didn't do it well enough, because the Love Bank Account is bankrupted. It is bone dry. Which is such a shame.

hi robby,

i am guessing you will check this post so i thought i would write to you here. I just read your posts from the weekend. i could relate to so much of it!!!

i really thought i have read most of your posts and knew your whole story... but i didn't know you were a BS too nor do i know what was the major life changing event that occured... care to share on that again (otherwise i have to go search old posts).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I’ve lost a ton of integrity and character in this whole ordeal. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i know how you feel!!! but at least we did finally figure it out, right? cuz here we are working on being better people. i hope you give yourself a LOT of credit for that.

other than that, i think dipiT is right on, just keep proving it. your W might be saying a lot of things, but until she puts it into action, like goes to a lawyer and files, she has not completely given up, she is hurting.

CV55, if you read this. I AM SOOOOO JEALOUS!!!! i want to see Eric Clapton so bad. He will be here this sat night. i thought for sure Eric Clapton would be one concert that H and i could really enjoy together. i love concerts, H does not, but he really like Eric Clapton. I had offered to spend the extra $ to get us good seats for a change, in the hopes that would be better for him, if he was up close. but H still had no desire to go. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> As it turns out, my daughter and i are now going camping this weekend. I must admit, i am hoping that another show in my town might be added in the future and maybe that time H will re-consider. hard to say.

i now have tickets to see Prince. someone H does not even like, but from something he said last night, it seems like he might consider going. i'm not sure and i don't want to push it. i'm just going to be sure to let him know he is invited and he is my first choice of who i would want to go with.

Robby, are you around? Hope none of my comments offended in any way.

CV: I am major jealous! LOVE MUSIC!!! LOVE LIVE CONCERTS. Finally: LOVE PRINCE!!

Prince is DEFINITELY one of those mojo producing artists!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

HELLO WORLD!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Not offended at all!

Just busy today. Took all of the advice to heart...Seems as though I need a few reminders now and then! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Should actually take those 2 posts and have them tattood somewhere on my body! I've read them several times, will read several more before bed time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">nor do i know what was the major life changing event that occured... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Birth of S. Changed everything. I MEAN EVERYTHING!!! Don't think I was expecting that, but boy, am I glad!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

How was everyone's day?

DipiT?

FL -I did see your post earlier. I tend to shy away when advice is needed... Think I'm only good for laughs, occasional comedy relief. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Oh, what the heck...

WHACK!

JK! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Ahhh..doing well. Feeling as guilty as a catholic alter boy, and I am not catholic. Go figure!

Hope you are hanging in there! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

FL, any chance you and your daughter can blow off the camping this weekend and go see Clapton? We saw him about 3 yrs. ago and I was blown away then. When he sang "Layla" (sp?) I just thought, "OMG, I'm actually listening to Eric Clapton do this song." Anyway this concert was just as good, if not better. I don't use the word awesome lightly, but he was awesome. We had cheap seats, but with the jumbotrons, and great sound symptoms, it didn't matter.

Well I could go on and on about The King. He just gets up there and plays his music. No BULL$$$$ fancy stuff. Just him and his guitar, and a great band. And to top it off Billy Preston is on this tour. If you're a fan, and there's ANY way you can see him, go for it. OK, I'll shut up! At least you have Prince to look forward to. You'll be hearing some great guitar there too. CV

OK CV, now i feel even WORSE that i cannot go!!!!! thanks a lot!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> but i am very glad you could go and you enjoyed it so much.

i am looking forward to prince concert and then the week after that my son and i are seeing blues travelers, they rock!!

here is the surprise of the night, makes NO sense to me. H says he will go to prince concert with me. says he has 0 expectation for the concert as he is not a prince fan but he will go just to be my date. how's that for a shocker for ya.

update you all more tommorow. going to have that talk that i DIDN"T get to ask you all about before having cuz of the other stupid distraction of the day. guess i'll just have to rely on myself.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ahhh..doing well. Feeling as guilty as a catholic alter boy, and I am not catholic. Go figure!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, I've been following your other thread...

But based on recent events here on the MB boards I didn't want to soil your thread. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Probably not the best place for WS. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Not much new here...

I hope you have a great day! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

At least you did not say "stain" my thread! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hope you are doing well too.

Feeling better. I think I am schizophrenic...I seem to change moods moment by moment.

DipiT-

Are you still here?

Many seem to be leaving for one reason or another.

My best wishes to all, of course! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

But it's getting pretty lonely being a FWS around here...

Dude, I am still here. Just crazy busy. Things seemed to let loose at work today. I GOTTA get to the gym tomorrow...need to blow off some steam!

How are you doing, Robby?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How are you doing, Robby? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Better, now that you made me laugh on the Jelly thread.

Looks like we still have some fans...

Get out your rubber chickens and fake noses...

...time to be funny again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

and by the way...

I think you need a two day written warning the next time you're going to be THAT busy again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby,

WAT UP DUDE????

Well, how is this for a comedy of errors, keystone cops kinda story?

It is late. Kids are being extra pesky. In my infinite DUMBNESS I decide to be nice and let them stay up. Then, in my gigantic STUPIDITY, I decide we can all go in my bed and cuddle while we say prayers. We say prayers, and then, sit quietly, talking about our day, etc. Then, they started being kinda silly, we were all laughing, it was nice. Then, I decided enough is enough, go to bed. Mind you, I still need to log onto work servers tonight to put the finishing touches on a presentation that will probably not be enough to avoid us getting fired from a problem account anyways, so, NO PRESSURE OR ANYTHING.

So, they are supposed to be off getting to bed, and I decide to spend the next few moments washing my face. I hear screaming yelling and regular ANNOYING AS HELLLLLLL sibling rivalry behavior, which usually puts me from 0 to CRAZY in about 3 seconds flat. I yell from the bathroom, face covered in makeup remover, "Get to bed guys. I let you stay up, now it is time to get to bed." More screaming. Apparently they are trying REALLY hard to take my warnings seriously...NOT. So, in my attempt to put the fear of God in them, I uncharacteristically decide I am going to run out of the bathroom, face still lathered up, and go running in the living room, with a "I AM A CRAZY WOMAN ABOUT TO BUST OPEN A CAN OF SOMETHIN SOMETHIN face." I am almost giddy of the prospect of this. Of my reverent children, eyes wide, shocked at my boldness, and answering with a demure little "Yes mother."

Well, I take two swift steps, proceed to stub my toe hard during the run out there, and now, the soap is running into my eyes. Instead of the fierce lioness, I look like an utter and complete idiot, like Laverne on an episode of Laverne and Shirley. I manage to yell out some sort of threat through my masked yelps of pain, that, apparently was loud enough to incite some sort of action on behalf of my children (they are probably rushing to their rooms so they can bury their heads in their pillows and LAUGH at their crazy *** Mom. Then, daughter, age 4, runs to her room, and stubs her toe on dresser. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

So, then, I go back to bathroom to finish feeble beauty regime, although, I have major PMS, so my face is breaking out like a nervous 12 year old a day before the Middle School Sadie Hawkins dance. I am dissapointedly studying every apparent flaw in my skin, contemplating what chemical to apply, etc.

Then, daughter decides to play her "Late Night Torture Mom" routine, where she get's up feigning some sort of dramatic emergency, in true thespian like manner. I mean seriously, this stuff puts Shakespeare to shame. I try not to laugh, try not to cry (my eyes are still burning) and ask her if she is thirsty, needs to go pee-pee, etc. She answers no. I tell her "Ok then. C, if you do not go to bed right now and stay in bed, I will spank you." Ok. I am not a big corporal punishment person, but when you have put something out there, and upped the ante, well, you had better be consistent.

Sure enough, 3.2 seconds later, she gets up, again, with no good reason, and really, because she knows I do not want to spank her, and she is calling my bluff, comes in asking for different pillow. Mind you this is the same pullow she has used for her entire child life. I tell her, ok, now Mommy has to punish you. She throws herself on the floor, screaming a banshee like yell that I am sure the neighbors the next street over heard, and proceeds to start reciting lines from Hamlet. I walk her to her bed, lightly tap her butt. And when I tell you I tapped her on the butt, that is exaggerating the actual act. She and I both know I have followed through with the promise, but that it was a pathetic attempt. I would pat my kids on the back harder when I would burp them as babies than this spank was. She them commences to screaming so loud, that the dog and all the other animals with that keen sense of hearing, cower in pain. Drama for your momma I like to say. Literal screaming. I think about going in there and demanding peace, but decide she can go ahead and scream it out. She is fine. Safe in her bed. Unharmed. Etc.

I close her door, and try again to commence on my beauty routine. At this point, due to all the stress, I notice a new blemish. Now I will need a NEW chemical for this fresh one.

So, now, I hear a desperate..."MOMMMMMMMMMMY" at the top of her lungs. I hurry in there, because it is not the type of yell I normally hear. I turn on the light, and see, in all her drama, she has managed to work herself into a heighted furvor, she has thrown up strawberry creme wafers all over the clean sheets I just put on her bed tonight. Had just pulled them out of the dryer and made her bed before prayer time. Yes. It's true. In addition to career woman, I do also need to raise my kids, and wash the sheets once in awhile.

So, for the next 30 minutes I bathe her, search the house for an alternative sheet set, make her bed, get her settled down, and put her back to bed, put all the newly clean and now newly soiled sheets in the wash, etc.

Poor thing is apologizing over and over about her drama and the vomit. I tell her it is ok. But that the reaction was beyond ridiculous, which she admits, etc. Sooth her, swoon over her, put her *** to bed.

Still have not finished skin care routine tonight. Figure it is not meant to happen...can feel entire surface of face turning into zit.

AND THE REST OF THE STORY..........

Daughter just walked over, with a sly smirk on her face, and told me "Mommy? I want that glass of water now." I sent her packing with her water, and 2 seconds later, had her out saying that she could not find her teddy.

She is too much like me. And in honor of CP, I am

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

Maybe I will not even start the proposal completion tonight. Might get up at the crack of dawn and have better chance of getting more done!

If that does not make you laugh, at the little realities of life, well then, nothing will! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

OMG, I just laughed my [censored] off! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Not about to try to compete with that!

Holy ****!

Tears I tell ya! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Whew!

Alright, I'll stop whining and post more in the morning...

...not as early as you'll be up saving your [censored] though... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Nite Nite DipiT! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You gotta love kids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I used to keep a journal of all that crazy stuff when they were younger. Kids are so crazy, especially at that age.

Hope you get that work done DipiT, I also waited till morning to do my reports <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . But had a busy night and ended up with more paper work than expected. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Whew..one more conference call to go this morning, and then I can slack for a little while.

Proposal was done, looked DAMN good, if I do say so myself, and the client was actually excited (I repeat, DID NOT FIRE US). I do my best work under the gun (wink wink). That is why in am in the ad biz.

I am not a procrastinator, I am "Deadline Oriented." Yeah! That's it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

dipiT-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Whew..one more conference call to go this morning, and then I can slack for a little while.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sure, sure…. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Well, good news…

Celly has shown up again!

I have IC at 8:00, how’s your slacking going?
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />