Ok, an update...
WH moved out of OW's apartment on 6/11 and into male friend's house. We talk and he says relationship with OW is over. He wants to be with me, sorry that he took so long to realize it.

On 6/12 WH moves back into our home, sleeping in other room for two nights. Moves back to our bedroom, however, he is not interested in me sexually. H says that he just doesn't have a "sexual spark and passion" for me, yet he does love me. I say maybe this will just take time.

H talks about home improvement projects he wants to take on, we scout out prices at home improvement store, we discuss financial future and ways to improve, H has opportunity for two full-time jobs same place that I work, we discuss our continued desire to have children, H reads "Recovery for Dummies" posted by 2ofakind that I printed for him. H seems like he desires recovery.

OW contacts H and he tells her it is over, yet now refuses to send NC letter. Then, OW continues to make contact on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. H begins to waiver in his committment to marriage. Now says he is unsure because he wants a strong sexual relationship and he doesn't have that with me. He wants to be with a woman who can orgasm (I have never with any man during sex, but I'm up for practicing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ). H will not agree to verbal NC with OW now and won't committ to even a few months of NC to work on marriage. Yet, he doesn't want to leave me. H goes back to sleeping in other room the last two nights.

Things are up in the air at the moment between H and me. I just have not talked about our relationship yesterday evening or today. I am pretty certain they aren't having sex, but I know there are phone calls and she has visited him at work.

I don't know if this waivering is normal in recovery or if it is a signal to high-tail it back into plan B. I am just not sure what to do.

This morning I was ready to offer up divorce as an ultimatium. This afternoon, I'm thinking about a very short Plan A (two weeks) and then Plan B if he won't agree to NC. I am not sure if others would even think that Plan A'ing again is a good idea, but I thought it might give me a chance to further assess the situation to see if it is just part of recovery before taking a drastic step.

So I need some help. Kick him out and go back to B? Do a mini A and then see if B is necessary? or something else?

firefly

Of course NC with OW will be required before he can get back into the house.
So this was not really required?
Did you sit down and talk and write things down PRIOR to his moving back in?

Hi Chris. We did talk before he moved back in and he was committed to NC. We didn't write things down as I had hoped. His moving back in ended up actually happening sooner than I would have liked. I know I screwed up by not dragging it out longer. I have come to realize how impatient I am.

firefly

Hmmm, well he is back now. It might not have been the best choice, but now you have to try to make it work.

I guess I would tell him that I want to work on having the big "O", before he leaves again. Tell him that he doesn't have to desire you, but could he just try to help you out.

Then get on-line and read about exercising your PC muscles. That really does the trick.

I think you need to sit down and have a very specific discussion.
Set some time aside specifically for this. Don't simply bring it up over dinner.

You should stick to what both of you are going to do and what is expected from the other (the list on your other page was pretty good).
Stick to the topic and do not get sidetracked (with comments like, "you are always like this" and "I hate it when you do that")