I just looked over the recent activity on the sparrow's and my joint checking account, her credit card, and her retirement.

Her retirement has not been touched. She has not done any unusual spending that I can see. She's doing all the things we did when we were together. She is buying a few bottles of wine here and there. She's going to restaurants that she and I used to go to together. It's like she's living our life with somebody else in my place. There is nothing new. This surprises me a little. I know it's of little use to interpret her behavior, but it's odd - it seems like she's completely in charge of their activities. Me not letting her be in charge is a big part of why she's gone, so this
should maybe not surprise me.

GC

FWIW, my H more or less "repeated history" with OW.

The first gift he bought me when we were dating was a huge box of good quality truffles. I love chocolate and had never had really good ones. Well, the first thing he bought her was a huge box of *my favorite kind* of truffles. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

The first thing H and I purchased as a couple was a piece of artistic glass. He found two pieces by the same artist and bought those for her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Some of the stuff they did was original, but for a large part of his courtship with OW, H stuck to what had worked in the past. Guess that's pretty normal, to do things you like and have enjoyed in the past. Sure hurt, though, seeing "our" life shared w/someone else.