Hi. Thanks for all you do. I was wondering (and I know this has been brought up before), is there any reason that there cannot be a forum for the WS's here that are sorry and trying to restore their marriages? We have alot of them right now.

I was thinking it could replace the Plan A/B thread, since there is not too much activity there.

I hope you all will consider it. It would be nice if these WS's had their own place to post.

bump

believer,

Thanks for the compliments believer.

I will direct your request to Admin. As you said, the suggestion for a separate forum for FWS's has been brought up in the past but we will resubmit it again.

Can't hurt to try!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Justuss - Thanks for the reply. I think it would be a very good idea. But I would put the requirement that the WS has to be trying to rebuild marriage.

Justuss,

I would like to second this request.

While there are times when WS's need to hear hard things from BS's, I also know (from private e-mail discussions with several) that many WS's are afraid to be completely honest on the boards for fear of being flamed. Many would like a forum that would allow them to be honest and open, without some hurting BS pouncing on them.

I understand some of the concerns of such a forum. One would be that it would start out on the right track, and could easily veer off to some level of an enabling group. Allowing people believe that they had reasons or rationale that made the A happen. In short, the thought may be that the BS's keep the WS's in reality.

I think it would be worthy of a try, though. I think there are enough recovered WS's here that they would be willing to use 2" x 4"'s when necessary on foggy, newbie WS's.

Bob

I second (or third) the motion! I have had to take a huge GULP and just post my honest and true feelings/motives/rationale's here...when I have been so very afraid of not just a 2x4...but of HURTING a suffering BS by my candid honesty. Sometimes I have held back.

Thanks for bringing this up Believer!

I, for one, would have the biggest, baddest 2x4 in MB history ready and waiting to stop any whiney crap. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Having said that and now regaining my poise as a lady <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , part of me thinks it would be a good idea, part of me doesn't.

Does anyone know if it works well on the SYMC board?

BTW Believer, while you're here I just wanted to say that with all the garbage going on in your own life, you still always have a kind word and good advice for everyone and it is very much appreciated.

Jenny

<small>[ June 24, 2004, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: KiwiJ ]</small>

I second Kiwi's last comment. Believer has posted on my topics MANY times, and every time he has, its been very reassuring things. Thanks for the kind words, Believer. I truely appreciate everything youve said to me :-).

I also think a board for the WS is a great idea. When I first posted on MB i was terrified that id be beat with a 2X4 and have all kinds of thigs thrown at me by BS's. Luckily, so far that hasnt happened. (knocks on wood as I hit the submit button).

I know that the Surviving Infidelity board has a forum for the WS, and it seems to work very well. I am the BS, and for the first 6 months or so, I avoided posting to WS's. My pain was too new.

But as I've gotten to know the people here, I see how bad they are hurting too. And I completely understand how they would be hesitant to post.

We have had a lot of WS's here lately, and they should feel safe and ENCOURAGED.

I second and third this!!

I am now checking out another forum at other sites just to get info about WS...and to ask opinion about their feelings. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

OH MY GOSH!!! This would be so wonderful!

I nominate Kiwi the holder of the 2x4's if people get out of line. There are so many FWW's that are on right now it seems, this would be wonderful if we can all post to one forum. I understand the concerns of the Admin's though.

Maybe the Admin's could make it so people have to get special permission to be in that particular forum?

While we are on board stuff, is there any plans of changing the board, I mean servers? How about phpbb? On the board I moderate it's very user friendly and people can set up their own profiles, colors, etc... Just a thought. The forum for FWS's is much more important than board styles though.

KIWI!! I am so sorry I haven't e-mailed ya, I have been horribly busy. I will try later on tonight but it looks like the weekend would be better - it will probably be a long vent.

Chack

I think it will be worth giving a try! During early recovery and withdrawal I was too afraid to express and post about my feelings honestly for the exact same reasons some posters has given above.

The forum works extremely well on the symc board. I can promise you that there is nothing enabling about it. We are not in the business of helping folks rationalize their affairs. According to the folks who go there...it is their lifeline to remaining strong and resisting contact with the OPs. Their gratitude and effort is amazing. We don't allow 2x4s there either. By the time most folks get there...they are already pretty beat up to be honest. That doesn't mean we make it easy for anyone...we sure don't...but we do make it safe. We don't need to humiliate them in order to help the see the truth. It's a place where we recognize people's humanity, fallability....and help them make healthy choices. We call it "reclamation" because it great place to "reclaim" their lives.

This is the link for SYMC (Save your marriage central):
http://saveyourmarriagecentral.infopop.cc/6/ubb.x?a=cfrm&s=244008616

Julie <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Well, saveyourmarriagecentral has one. I forgot about that. It is a great idea, because WS's can get the help they need, without being pounded. I have seen many WS's here disappear. That can't be good.

Also some BS's may be so early in this that they don't want to hear from WS's.

A WS board will help everyone.

Thanks believer for starting this thread. It is very scary as an xWW to tell what I feel knowing I could easily be upsetting some of the Bs. Especially the ones that are so new to the pain of an A.

Yet, I could really use a safe place to talk without feeling quite as horrible. I would also accept as many 2x4s as necessary. Don't want it to be an enabling site.

Thanks,
Pam

<small>[ June 25, 2004, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: runawaypot ]</small>