WW is on the cell phone with OM. I know, she knows I know. She is on the back porch. She essentially chased me off the porch with her hurtful conversation, when I let the dogs out 30 minutes later she was on the phone with him. Should I go out there and make it difficult or uncomfortable? Just sit on a chair?

Seriously, don't want to LB. But I feel like I shouldn't enable her by staying away.

Don't do anything.

Let her conscience bother her, which it will.

Geez - that is so disrespectful. What is wrong with her? I would just go out for awhile.

Ok, I'll stay away then. But I don't think her her conscience is bothering her.

And it is disrespectful, and hurtful. I don't feel like I should let her do it right in my face.

Familyman, did you read JL's posts to you? You need to take some action here. Your wife is extremely destructive and is hurting your family. She cares nothing about parading her little internet affair in front of H and kids. I hope you take his advice and contact an attorney very quickly. She has no respect for you and even less regard for your children. It falls to you to protect your family from her.

She must be very angry to be so hurtful. Her behavior is just crazy. Has she always been this selfish or did this just start with the affair?

Mel,
I responded to JL. And yes I am trying to take the right steps.

Believer,
She has been very selfish at times, very stubborn. She was very secretive about the Internet thing. After it was discovered she became very hostile and cruel. Up until the first time I confronted her about knowing the PA started on June 2nd. Since then she has tried to be secretive, but is being less and less as time goes by. She started leaving the house to talk down.

<small>[ July 16, 2004, 03:38 PM: Message edited by: 1Tin Man ]</small>

My WW would field the odd call when she was still here as well, I wish now I would have said something.

I think it's ok to tell her that it is painful for you and disrespectful to make those calls in your prescence, do so without screaming at her. Tell her that this is your home too, and though you cannot control her, she should at least spare you the discomfort of having to hear your bride have verbal intercourse in front of you.

Maybe she is just trying to get your goat - you know - make you mad--give her an excuse to hurt you more - maybe in some sick way she is showing you that you can't make her feel guilty--(in reality she is) I have a gut feeling that she may be trying to make living there so unbearable for you that you will leave. Hard core attorneys advise their clients to do that so they get more in the D.

Maybe.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I want to go out there just so she'll stop. She won't keep talking while I'm there. She'll either hang up or go somewhere else.

what happened to my wife?

This is going to sound really stupid, and someone will beat me with a 2X4, BUT...as much as this hurts, do NOT LB. Be polite, tell her that the calls in your presence are really hurtful and disrespectful.

ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE, sit down, have a big cup of coffee and watch this thing blow up in her FACE. And I promise you it will. This is an internet thing, and it's an A to boot. It has about a zero chance to survive. She's so caught up in fantasy land right now she inhales nothing but fog. There is NOBODY in her corner, noone with half a lick of sense telling her.. hey you know what, this is a really great well thought out plan of yours, and it's going to come off brilliantly !

If you love her, want the M, and can forgive all this nonsense, hang tight, she'll be back. IF she ever leaves. If OM loved HER so much, why isn't he moving here ? Because she isn't on his top 10 list of priorities. That's why.

Be patient.

FM,

Okay for some reason she feels this horrible need to make your life a living hell. She is going after your throat for all this is worth. Probably for a million reasons.

LET HER GO...

Start pulling yourself away and doing your own thing. She is feeding off of this cat and mouse game. Shes a game player and playin the game is what she is good at. Okay fine....DONT PLAY ANYMORE.

I know its really hard to hear but let her do her thing. Let her live in her apparent ecstasy. While this ordeal is miserable she is reveling in your misery. She for some sick and twisted way is loving this whole process.

Its time to let her be in her own world. Focus on what is important and take care of your family. Create the life you want for you and your kids. Take care of yourself. Start building a solid foundation for the children. You love family and it runs deep in your blood, as apparent through your words. Let that out and do what you need to.

Mourn the loss of the wife you once knew and realize the truth of the woman in front of you. Do you really want to take the chance that if she comes back to you that she wont do this again. Im sorry to say but you have a sick woman living in your house and you need to let her reap what her illness is creating.

I know this is easier said than done and I really understand your pain. Dont take that away from your self. YOU ARE A REAL MAN!!!

Peace and love to you.
l4f

FamilyMan
I agree with graycloud on other board. You are letting her get to you. Feigning indifference with her is the way to go. I know that is hard - used to sharing and being honest - to fix marriage. I think baring one's soul to WW at this point is just giving her more ammunition and weak spots to attack.