Today my H and I were talking. Some how we got on the subject of divorce and that's when it went down hill. I kept asking him to stop talking to the OW that I believe he is having an EA with, but all I heard is we're just friends. I told him that's how affairs start. He just kept defending her and saying that giving her up will not help the situation. I got so frustrated that I told him if he doesn't let her go I would leave. We were just sending text messages, so he said he wanted to talk tonight. Well I'm home and he's not. Usually he gets home around 10:15, but twice this week he has gotten home after 12 and it's 11:30 right now. The other thing is he hasn't called me. He usually calls to tell me he is leaving. Have I really messed things up?

They all say they are just friends. This woman should not be calling your husband. But the way you can tell if it is an affair is how he treats you.

You should start in Plan A. Read all about it here.

Thank you. I have been reading Surviving an Affair, but I am a very slow reader. Atleast what I have read has helped me understand the emotions I have been feeling.

BTW The reason I began believing she may be more than a friend was because of his actions. It really scared me and even though he is more like himself now I'm not over her still being in his life. I just will not stand for it.

Moosie, from your H’s actions and the way he is defending the OW and his “friendship” with her, it’s clear that he is involved in an EA. The fact that he’s not willing to give her up, indicates that things have progressed must further than just a friendship already and that has developed an inappropriate and unhealthy emotional attachment towards her... Your H needs to stop contact with this woman and respect you. I agree with believer, start with plan A and read all you can about it. Here is a good article about emotional infidelity. Maybe you can print it out for your H to read. A good book to read is “Not Just Friends” by Shirley Glass. The link to the article also contains some information from her material. Here is a thread on the differences between PAs, EAs and friendships. The thread also contains some useful links.

Blessings,
Suzet

<small>[ June 25, 2004, 04:36 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>