I am so tired of having the things I do or say, interpreted as an attack. No matter how kind or loving I am, my W finds a way to see it as an accusation or an attack. I am not her enemy. I do not want to destroy her or her life. If I wanted revenge I could have already had it; I have had plenty of opportunities.

Listen to me, I AM NOT THE ENEMY!!!

I'm not familiar with your situation, but if your W is a WW, then this is normal.

See, in such a sitch, you are the enemy. You cause guilt, you make the affair difficult etc.

Sure, you may not be stealing money from her, etc, but you sure make it hard for her to have her fun.

I've BTDT, as my WW says things like "why are you trying to ruin my life" after I pay her federal taxes for 2003 since she had no federal taxes withheld.

Said the same thing when I said I wouldn't continue to pay her van payment and car insurance. She tells me she doesn't want me to worry about her or care for her.

OK, I hear that, your van payment is $525/month, your car insurance works out to $42/month, I'll start paying full child support as Illinois recommends and you can pickup these bills for yourself.

So I'm trying to hurt her?

Nope, she wants to divorce, so I'm cutting the ties and giving her what she wants, her freedom.

It's normal, just ignore it. I know it's hard, I blew up a few times when she accused me of this. I just ignore it now and am very factual saying on May XX you said in a phone conversation with me that you wanted me to stop worrying about you and trying to take care of you, so I'm just doing what you asked.

I've set my boundaries, and I will not financially do any more than to support our daughter as long as you are seeing OM and continuing the divorce.

None of this is done to hurt you, so I'm sorry if you feel this way.

Tony

zip,

Let her spout all she wants. She is probably upset you are making it difficult for her to leave by being nice. If you're a pr!ck then it much easier for her to jstify leaving.

I think she knows you aren't the enemy. She is probably feeling some guilt about what she is doing and it is much easier to be mad at you than at herself.


God Bless

Doug

I understand what you are saying. However, my W does not seem guilty or remorseful, just angry and bitter.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by zippyTWM:
<strong> However, my W does not seem guilty or remorseful, just angry and bitter. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, my WW is the exact same way… only she is still with him and we are screaming towards D. Somehow to her and OM… I am the bad guy, it is all my fault, he is only saving her from me…. it all makes me want to puke.

I think your W will get better as the withdrawal wears off… you tag line say that she is in N/C with OM, so I assume you guys are in recovery. I would say (just MHO) that you bide your time and try to meet the EN’s as much as possible. I’m not familiar with your story at all… so I apologize for sticking my nose in where it may not belong… but have you read SAA yet? It would be a good idea if you haven’t.

Take care and good luck! I, for one, am envious of you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Want My Wife Back???:
<strong>Take care and good luck! I, for one, am envious of you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for putting things in perspective. I am glad that she is still in the house. My W is a runner by nature and could have been long gone by now.

Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by zippyTWM:
<strong> [QUOTE] My W is a runner by nature and could have been long gone by now.. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, so is mine... and she did! She has with everything that has ever posed a problem in her life, so I don't know why i thought marriage would have been any different... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />


Believe me... I understand you pain in dealing with this... but trust that you are doing the right thing and it WILL get better!