H called and said he was going out with a friend that I dont want him hanging out with anymore because he gave him a condom to cheat on me right after I had our son. According to H though, he couldnt perform. I know tonight will be the night he goes out to get revenge on me for what I did. Should I fight him to not go out, or should I just let him go? Im so afraid hes going to throw everything that weve fough hard to restore. His exact words when I talked to him a minute ago were, "You already said I could go out and have sex, so stop worrying about it". Keep in mind Ive voiced how I feel about him going out to get revenge.

I feel like Im losing control of the sitaution. I HATE feeling this way. HATE IT! I know I need to not be stressed out because theres a possibility Im pregnant right now, but I cant help but freak out. He thinks I should be bouncing off the walls and throwing a party because he wants to go out and get revenge.

What should I do? I know I need to call and get on anit-depressants, other than that though, what can I do? PLease Help!!!

Yikes - he is really not doing the MB thing. I think you need to tell him that his attitude is really hurting you.

That's just it Believer, he doesn't care. Never has, never will. He's the one that told me to come here and post and read articles, that it would help our marriage. It's ALWAYS been about him, what he wants and how he feels. Ya know, I think I answer my OWN questions when I post a reply or a new topic. Now I ask myself....WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS MAN T? Gah!

I feel like a loser for letting him back into my life. I told him LONG before I let him move back in that Id be letting myself, him and a million people down if I let him back into my life. That if I did and things didn't change Id kick myself everyday for going through with it anyway. What really makes me feel stupid is I got my first ever tattoo a few weeks to a month ago and got his name on it. I told myself 2 weeks after getting it hed say he was leaving, and he did! Not even a week and a half later.

I know Im theone who did wrong and ruined the sanctity (butchered that word eh?) of our marriage, but da&^it! Im the one whos trying to save what we have left! Im hurtingtoo. Im the one whos stressed out everyday wondering "is this going to be the day he comes home and packs his things for a while". I just wish I knew what to do. -SIGH!

Lonelyone,

What I am going to tell you, you are not going to want to hear but here it is anyway -

You are in the middle of some kind of wacked out, abusive and sickening relationship. And you already know that your husband going out to have "sex" for revenge because you had a short affair when you were broke up is BULL. He is going out to have sex for two reasons -

1. he wants to

2. he wants to abuse you because that is what he
is, an ABUSER


My advice to you is to let him go, stop having sex with him although I think he will force himself on you if you do. LET him go and then find a way to get yourself together so that one day you can have a good healthy relationship with someone. Yes it maybe with him, but you have to make the start to get away from him and get yourself some help.

You are a mother and your children need a home that is safe and loving. Do you understand that.

You can do this, but it is entirely up to you. Remember the mind is a very powerful thing. Get yours off of him, and back to where it should be right now, which is on your kids and yourself.

Let him go, trust me just like a bad penny he will be back.