About 3 weeks ago, I requested phone records for W's cell phone. We live in Italy, and most cell phones are pre-paid, so no bills to the house. I bought her the phone, so the # is in my name. Anyway, after about 10 days go by, I ask my secretary (she speaks Italian) to call and find out where the records are (supposed to be faxed to my office). Phone company says still processing, over the next few days she keeps on them. Well, I guess they got suspicious and called the cell # and spoke with W, told her someone was trying to get the records. She calls me at work, really pissed. I stay calm, let her vent. Asked her what would I find, etc.

She says it was an invasion of her privacy. I reminded her that phone and the service was paid for with OUR money, and I had as much right to know what was on that phone as she did.

She is out this morning to get a new # for her phone. She promised that she would bring the old data card and I could destroy it. She also promised not to give her new # to the that [censored], but time will tell.

She told me before that he had only messaged her a couple of times. Last nite she admitted that he was sending her a message every day through a service that lets you write them in advance and choose when they are sent (kinda like on line greeting cards). I knew that contact had not ended, 1 day she was "here", the next I could tell she was not.

She says that she has a broken heart, he is with his wife and family and will not leave. She tells me that she will never get over him, and I should leave and find someone that can love me the way I should be loved. Doesn't want to go to MC here b/c there is only 1 MC and everyone will know.

She has read MB, and does not agree that what she is feeling is infatuation, it is real love. I no longer argue this with her. This is clearly withdrawl and fog, but until ALL contact is be terminated for the clock to begin on us, she just crys when I say that.

I don't know if I can wait forever. I almost left 2 weeks ago, but my secretary talked me out of it. Told me to hang on for the kids, W and the family. We leave Italy in 13 months (I am in the Navy), but I don't know if I can keep on like this. What do I do?

Stick with Plan A. They all think that their love is real.

It is a very good sign that he is staying with his wife. Have you contacted her?

I can't contact OM's W, don't know exactly who he is . Plus, there is the language barrier. Not sure it would do much good, affairs in Italy are the norm, not the exception.

Update: W got new phone # and brought me the old data card which I cut in two. She is really worried that I will get the phone records. I told her if she will level with me, then there is no need for me to see them. She admitted to contact, both calls and messages, incoming and outgoing. In my heart, I knew this. I promised that if I rec'd the records, I would shred w/o looking at them, and I meant it.

She also promised NC, I know, I know, she has promised before, but I have to give her a chance. I made her specfically promise to never see him, call him, message him or any other form of contact. She agreed. She says she did not give him her new #, I pray that is true.

Hi Betrayed Man,

former Navy gal here, so I thought I'd write to you and try to give you some encouragement. Try to keep your head up and stick with Plan A. I just wanted to write to let you know I'm thinking about you.

-michelle

Thanks for the encouragement. I swear that sometimes plan a feels like doormat training.

<small>[ December 03, 2004, 01:34 PM: Message edited by: lovemyhubby ]</small>

betrayed man how are you doing? Please update us if you get a chance.. hope things are going better for you.

Lmh