I have been married for just about one year and my wife and I are having serious problems with addressing finances. We were very independent people before we married and unfortuanetly have seperated our finances. I make more money than she does and am responsible for 80% of the expenses (i.e. majority of rent, home insurance, gas, electic, cable, internet, health and life insurance). She is only responsible for a quarter of the rent and the home telephone. Well we are want to have our 1st child soon, and we were discussing who should be responsible for the necessary initial expenses of having a child (i.e. insurance, furniture, etc.). She is upset because she feels that I should pay for majority of everything when in fact she currently has more money than I do. And I disagree. I think we should do it equally. Can someone give me advice on how I should address this matter?

pawdukes,
You are not roomates, you are a married couple.

You give us percentages of how much each makes and how much each is responsible for paying rent, etc. That sounds like my college-age sons dividing up the bills with the guys they live with... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

You need to look at you marriage and your commitment and see if you have honestly made the decision to "become one". This includes finances. As long as you are keeping your money separate and even discussing how much rent each of you pays, you are not living as a couple.

When you married, did you say that each of you would contribute 50/50 financially? If so, did you take into account possible layoffs, raises, differences in job opportunities? This is not a board game, it's real life. If you expect 50/50, your marriage is not going to work.

You say that you are considering a baby? Please do not have one until you have worked out your marriage and finances. Would the child go into full time child care? Would one of you take any time off when the baby is born? Who would pay for the babies expenses, 50/50 again?

I see lots more resentment ahead and you do not need that added to an already unstable relationship.

Please get professional counseling to help you work through this issue. As long as money is causing resentment, there is no way that you can find the closeness in your marriage that you need to be loving partners, or parents for the long haul.

pawdukes, Ladysing is right, this is not your roommate, this is your wife. Y'all are just setting yourself up for these battles by doing your finances like this.

Combine your accounts and then whoever is better at managing the bills, should be in charge of that.

Your income and her income is now OUR income.

pawdukes,
I'm curious, is there a reason that this question is posted under the infidelity column? Not that all topics here must deal with that, but I was wondering if I was missing a piece of thre puzzle here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

pawdukes? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />