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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 40
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 40 |
Details: I'm BS, married 6yrs, 2 children (1&3). WS is in EA with childhood friend who is divorcing for the 2nd time. We've discussed needs that have not been met etc. He still is NC. but I'm trying to hang in there.
My question: Does it make sense to withdraw from sex to maintain some form of respect in the marriage until things are cleared up. But would it push my WS into a PA?
J
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
jasmine, in Plan A you want to take every opportunity to meet the other's needs. It is almost always a good idea to have SF in Plan A. Plan A is a program of attraction where you show your BEST side, so the last thing you would want to do is withhold sex.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 832
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 832 |
My wife was all for SF during Plan A, just not with me.
I agree with Mel, you’re trying to present what a good package your marriage is, so SF is appropriate. My concern would be from a hygiene point of view though. If you don't know where the OW has been, what little microbiological gifts is hubby bringing home. I would protect myself accordingly.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 40
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 40 |
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 424
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 424 |
I was so scared to get with my husband afterwards.... but he wanted that need to be met afterwards, not by OW but by me right away.. somewhat the erase OW, but I couldn't.. I couldn't be sexual with him knowing he used NO PROTECTION with OW.. eewww.. I was very scared, I couldn't do it even when I had desires for my husband. Anyways, I talk to his mom about it even, she told me he should get tested maybe I'd be more comfortable. After that was done...well before we even got the result.. I got drunk one night cuz I was feeling so bad... i felt like I had NOTHING to lose.. I did it unfortunately OW was clean or I would have been going through hell.. but first make sure you H is clean.. and use protection. It may not be the same as before.. but try to clear those images out of your head. And things should be alright. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Good luck on your SF <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
I'm all for SF in Plan A, and Plan B for that matter.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer: <strong> I'm all for SF in Plan A, and Plan B for that matter. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! I spewed my drink on this one!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 403
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 403 |
believer, you are a naughty one!!!
SF in Plan A...check!
SF in Plan B (new rule made by believer)...check!
Testing for STD's...check!
Having the knot in your stomach feel a teeny bit better...check!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
That girl is an animal!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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