I thee wed.

I took it off today and put it away.

I'm not sure what this signifies.

He is coming around, or coming to the end of himself rather. Seeing what a mess he has made of his life, of our lives.

He is moving out of the ow's in a few days, taking a job out of town. This is a good thing.

But we have a ways to go. Adultery was practically the least of our problems, more a symptom.

And I don't want to go back to that life. If we are going to be a couple, partners; it will have to be a new thing. Starting over from scratch.

I have changed, grown into someone else over the past few years, and he doesn't really know who I am.

And the who I am now, wants honesty, friendship, commitment, monogamy, accountibility, and respect in a relationship. Same as I am offering.

This also might be a subtle way of letting him know that I am not going to let him come waltzing back here into my life without some effort on his part.

I will want a new ring, new vows.

I took my promise to him seriously, when we were married. I don't know what was in his mind at the time- he was young, only 21.

Maybe I should have done plan b, but I think he is starting to miss having a home and a family who care about him. The single life has lost its attraction I think.

My version of plan b has been to not call him, to let him call me.

Its working so far.

Hi Shul -

I justed wanted to tell you I like this idea of yours -new ring, new vows...new relationship.

It's enlightened, it's firm, it's romantic, it's hopeful...

In fact I love it...

Weaver

Thankyou Weaver,

I have been conscious of the empty place on my hand all day.

I came from a dysfunctional family, so I don't really know what a healthy marriage looks like.

I ask myself- 'if I woke up tomorrow and everything was perfect, what would that look like..?'

I don't know. But I know what it would not be like!