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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 54
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OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 54 |
I just don't get it. My fiance does not respond to anything that I bring up as a problem. If I say I am not happy with our situation, he simply says nothing.
Finally this weekend, I said, "I care about you very much, but I really think it's time for us to go our seperate ways." Again, no response, nada. This morning he kissed me good bye on his way to work, like any other morning. How weird is this?
Also, he has never in 4 yrs. taken me on a vacation. He doesn't take me out at all. He doesn't like or initiate sex.
He is pleasant most of the time and helps out around the yard. He's not mean or anything. But heck, I feel like I'm living with a brother. And maybe even worse since he won't even discuss a problem.
Any ideas??? I'm at a loss!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
I hope you won't get married until you get some counseling together. Otherwise, once you get married, problems will excalate. Good luck.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 54
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 54 |
Well, if or until I find some way to communicate with him, I have decided not to even count on marrying him. I took my engagement ring off about a month ago. He did ask why. I told him I didn't think it was fair for him to keep me in the dark about our future, since he never brings it up, and avoids any discussion I try to start. I told him I felt like it was unfair for me to be tied to that ring when he never talks about when or if he still plans for us to marry. I mean it's been just short of 4 yrs. now. He hasn't said anything about it since.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042 |
Unfortuantely, I see a lot of the former me in your fiance. My H would try to bring up problems and I would shut down and refuse to discuss or even acknowledge them. Why? Because I was scared to death. I was scared that he didn't love me and the he would leave me so I completely avoided the subject. And since I am here it is obvious that avoidance did not work for me, it had the exact opposite effect.
It took getting my heart ripped out of my body, slammed on the ground, stomped on and spit on for me to wake up. Hopefully, it won't take such drastic measures for you guys. You have started the dialogue but keep it going, keep pushing. Then you know you have done all that you can. The last thing you want to do is sit back years from now and say what if.
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