EDITED

<small>[ September 14, 2004, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: Tenn25 ]</small>

elh,

What if he is telling you the truth? Do you have any evidence that he is not? You will destroy the marriage yourself, if it turns out he has told you the truth and you never believe him.

An interesting thing about people, innocent people rarely lead their lives in a way that they always have an alibi. It never occurs to them that they will need one.

So if you don't have proof, and you have grilled him without mercy, and you still haven't gotten anything damning, then you have two choices. You can believe him, that should be the default unless you have other evidence, or you can continue to not trust him, which at best will lead to a miserable marriage, if it lasts.

Please think about this. Read about the concept of "love busters" and specifically disrespectful judgements, DJ's. It may be time to let go. Yup, he may have gotten away with something, but it is for him to deal with NOT you. His lack of integrity, if that is indeed the case, will show up somewhere else, have faith in that.

So consider your choices and decide which works best for you.

God Bless,

JL

In order for your H to tell you the truth he has to feel safe doing so. If he IS keeping something from you, it's out of fear of your reaction. You need to calmly reassure him that you love him, and want to stay married to him, no matter what, but that you want to know everything. And then, if there is something else, you have to remember that you just told him you love him, and want to stay married to him, no matter what, and not react hysterically.

I'm not saying you've been hysterical in the past...I don't know how you react to things. But in many cases, people say they want the truth, and then their actions when hearing the truth speak otherwise.

BTW, if it matters, that's the opinion of a FWH.

Oscar