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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 125
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 125 |
My H filled out the EN Questionnaire and in the list of his top five things, he wrote as number 4 "alone time". Hmm....I thought that was one of the things that got him into trouble was because he had so much alone time to begin with (he works all different shifts so is frequently on his days of while I'm at work). To me, this seems like a recipe for disaster. What do you think??
<small>[ June 29, 2004, 03:58 PM: Message edited by: halseybach ]</small>
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 89
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 89 |
halseybach, I think it depends on what his definition of alone time is. If it means a few hours a week playing with a hobbie in the garage without the kids begging for attention, thats ok. If it means time where he doesn't have to be accountable, thats not ok. If it means excessive time that leaves you feeling neglected, its not ok.
Seems to me if he has days off alone while you and the kids are away he has plenty of alone time already.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,929
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,929 |
I agree with lego...alone time is ok as long as 1) its accounted for! and 2) it doesn't become the #1 EN so as to intrude on your 15 hours of time together each week.
My H likes alone time. He has a stressful job, and 3 kids here at home. Most of his "alone time" is spent doing things around here that he likes to do. He will spend 2 hours washing and detailing our 2 cars. I think he likes the time to just think and be by himself in his head. BUT at one time (pre-A) these "chores" became his escape from the M and any conflict...thus contributing to the vulerability that enabled his A.
So, be sure that any alone time is accounted for and it does not become intrusive to your time together.
Good luck halsey!
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