Even though my M is doing much better there are times when I feel those old voices calling me back towards the fog. I'll see my H still triggering and he does his best to fight it and move past it, but it hurts me to know that I put that there. He never dealt with that before the A. He is trying to be strong, but I can see his hurt and his pain. Then when I see his struggle I stll hear those faint voices saying, "this m will never be fully right again," or "you don't deserve him, he could do so much better than you." And then I'll start to believe it... sucked back into the junk.

But then I remember all the horrible stuff that we went through when I was under it's influence. Then I just say.... NO WAY, I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THAT. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I got out of this by determining that I was going to choose to love my H and meet his needs. Then he started meeting mine and we clawed our way out. We are doing better now. We're actually in love again.

When does the fog just go away and die?

Well, I have no experience to back this up, if the rule of thumb I've heard from many different sources is right...

Start planning something really great for New Year's 2005/2006.

GC

MO-
this is what FWW like you & I
have been chatting about on
"moving forward thread" have
you read there? I too had a bad
few days last week & felt so
vulnerable-I called OM & he
never picked up-fortunately
for me-he is a coward. I tell
myself he is not worth the energy
it takes to think about him.
It has been said-when you have those
thoughts-think of your integrity.
we are better than that. We have M
that need our attention.
1 day at a time...pal

Movin’on,

This is all part of the process and takes time and patience… From experience I know it’s possible for the fog to slip back from time to time. I think most of this have to do with withdrawal. The time it took to get over this is not the same for everyone and differs from person to person and depends on a lot of things. You're still very early in recovery.

I’m glad you’re doing so well. Hang in there! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi movin'on,

I have no experience whatsoever being a WW but I wanted to mention that my mom had many years of these "inner demons" trying to sway her back to the dark side of her life(alcoholism) and she did whatever she could to get beyond those thoughts.

Today,she is the most amazing woman I know.We are so close after going through he** many years ago as a teenager.She strived to be the kind of mother I deserved and she is.Each year became a little easier for her until now,all those ugly memories are like a faded picture from another century.It's long gone into the past and those demons have given up,they realize they cannot control her anymore.

So,have hope.Give yourself time and expect that it does take time.You are on the right path and I support you in that.And your WH will get beyond his pain too.Time.Love.Care.Each other.That's all that matters.

O <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />