Greetings J,

Have been quiet at this end as life has been quiet.

I keep hoping for quiet, but I seem to be the focus for chaos in my part of the world. Do you want to make a trade?

No, you did your time in chaos, I supose it is high time you got a rest, before being plunged back into it - and I know it always comes back around.

My planned meeting with my rector was postponed due to his wife's ill health but I finally met with him this afternoon. He has discussed with me what the Director of Ordinands will want to know about me and then told me to go ahead and make contact to progress the application. It was lovely to hear him say he thought I would do any church I was sent to good and help the Kingdom of God to grow.

I agree with him, you will help people, and do much good where ever you go. I can feel it as I type this, and I suspect you will feel it too.
I know that God does a great work in the world, where ever people call upon him for help, he is there to help. Often it is emotional help, and not the physical help we sometimes seek, but he helps in whatever way is best. As I watch, and learn, I trust him more and more - I suppose that is the same as increasing my faith.

There are times when I feel terrified of what is ahead of me as who am I to think I can be fulltime minister for God, yet I have peace knowing God has called me. I can only do what he sets before me to do and call on Him for strength and wisdom.

Whenever we seek to help others, we get his help to do it. I am sure you have been prayerful in this, I pray that you will get the guidance you need, and want. I am happy that you sense the direction you should go.

I will continue to work at the supermarket until I go to study, its a stress free job but its amazing how many opportunities come to listen to people and their problems and occasionally help them with a word or a silent prayer.

We are often able to help while at work - I have a great respect for your talents and abilities, and I hope I do as well as I believe you do. Life can be very rewarding at many tasks, if we keep our thoughts centered on why we are here. You seem to have the balance you were looking for when you first came to MB.


The boys are all doing fairly well the odd missed homework means contact with school but otherwise life is very peasceful.

I spent Monday morning between 3 AM, and 6 AM in the hospital with W. I am still hoping for peaceful -

She is OK, turns out it was a problem with her inner ear, that made her dizy, and light headed, and sick to her stomach. It is viral, and should pass within a few days.

It always scares me when something happens to her, It would be hard to be without her. I still pray for God to show you the way in all things, I believe he will.

Not much excitement with the children now. The married ones seem to be happy, two have just purchased and moved in to new homes, and a third is building a home. The other married daughter has a husband in school, and it may be a few years for them.

I decided I like grand children, they are fun, and not near as much work as if they lived with you all the time.
I fine myself wondering how much time your boys spend with their grand parents, I suppose it would be a hardship on your mum to have them without you there, but as they get older, they could help her if it was needed.

I lived 1/2 a block from my Grand parents and it was almost like having a second set of parents, only they were older, and wiser. I learned a lot from wartching them live. My Grandmother used to say that life is wonderful, even if it is sometimes hard. I think she was right.


As always, thank you for the update. I'll wait to hear how things unfold for you.

SS

Hi SS

I trust that your W is much improved healthwise.
Had a pleasant w/e last w/e. T came to visit the boys and he , I and C ate saturday evening meal together. I'd gone to town doing something special- roast duck with veg's I know T likes and a cream desert that I often did when we had visitors. Afterwards I went out with a friend and stayed the night at her house as T will no longer stay in this house over night if I am staying here. We chatted pleasantly about future hopes job wise.
Things hads been quiet on the D front, and this week I took him to an interview at a college for him to move too after his summmer exams. he has been offered a place conditional on him gaining 4 GCSE's at C or above and a good report from school. The day after he recieved this offer I got a phone call at work from school. He's been found in possession of cannabis and so the police were being informneed!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needles to say I came home from work to deal with the problem. I contacted T and we again had a three way phone call with D.He had changed his story since first speaking to his head teacher and now claimed the cannabis didn't belong to him he wasd holding it for a 'friend'. Neither T, school nor I know what to believe but we are inclined to the view that in all liklihood he had actually bought it! However T and I agreed to wait and see what the police and school decide before punishing him. He has been rather aggressive over it all which makes me think he knows he's in the wrong but at the moment he's not admitting to it. Now I have to wait until Monday for the next outcome. I rang my minister after and shared the problem with him and asked him and his wife to pray for me, I felt much more at peace afterwards.
Other than that life is pretty much as always. I have been able to apply for a change of hours at wok to drop sunday hours and I'm praying that I will get the new hours. Unfortunately someone else also wants them so we both have to be interviewed next week about them.
A and C are behaving themselves and both are well . My mum is off to majorca hoping for some sunshine- unfortuantely they have had colder weather thanengland has had so I don't think she'll be all that happy.
T has booked flights for the boys again to go to Corfu this summer - but only 2 weeks this time- unfortunately I think he told the boys it would be a week to 10 days when he discussed it with them- but I'm staying out of all arguments this year.
Time to go collect D from work- he is a pot washer at a local hotel though after yesterday events I'm not sure how much longer I'll allow it
Jante

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Sometimes I read past threads, and I notice that I talk about random things a lot, and that it often looks like I am giving advice. I don't think you need much advice, so remember that when I go on too long.


I trust that your W is much improved healthwise.

She was well in three days, and thank you for remembering. I always worry when she is ill, she holds the family together, just like you do your family.


Had a pleasant w/e last w/e. T came to visit the boys and he , I and C ate saturday evening meal together. I'd gone to town doing something special- roast duck with veg's I know T likes and a cream desert that I often did when we had visitors.

Sometimes I laugh out loud at his comings and goings. You are so kind, but that is the way we ought to be.

T !!!, pay attention, you never had it so good as when your family was together !!
Why don't you repent, and check in with God. He may have some information that could bring back the happiness to your life.

I know, I know, but I still wish he would get it.

Afterwards I went out with a friend and stayed the night at her house as T will no longer stay in this house over night if I am staying here. That would be simple then, just stay home, and let HIM leave.

I should be more kind, and I should wipe this smile off my face too.

T !!!
I don't think he is listening, he won't even turn his head when I talk to him.


We chatted pleasantly about future hopes job wise.

For him, or for you? Most likely for you. Now you need to come back and tell me about that conversation, I would have liked to heard it.

What does he say when you tell him about your hopes? Or do you keep it to the facts of what may happen?


So sorry to hear about D. S has confined his troubles lately to sleeping too late some days. I can live with that.

He has been rather aggressive over it all which makes me think he knows he's in the wrong but at the moment he's not admitting to it. Now I have to wait until Monday for the next outcome.

The older they get, the more difficult it is to reason with them, until they hit 22, or 23. After that, they seem to come to their senses, and come round wishing you happy birthday, and wanting to do things for you again. My oldest is 27 now, he seems very reasonable most of the time.

You may have more information by now, I hope D does better, for his own sake, and for his mum too, I think she deserves a few more years of calm before the grand children make things exciting again.


I rang my minister after and shared the problem with him and asked him and his wife to pray for me, I felt much more at peace afterwards.

We'll be praying for all of you this week also, but then, we usually do. I'll give it more thought, and more time.

Other than that life is pretty much as always.

Oh, pretty much as always, except for the exciting stuff. You are so modest, I don't know what to do with you. (LOL)
Do you blush when people tease you? I should leave you alone, so remind me of that next time we talk.
Pretty much as always, I can't believe she said that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


I have been able to apply for a change of hours at wok to drop sunday hours and I'm praying that I will get the new hours. Unfortunately someone else also wants them so we both have to be interviewed next week about them.

It is important to me to be home and at church on Sunday. So far in my life, I have been able to avoid working on that day except for when I worked at a dairy milking cows. They seemed to need to be milked all 7 days of the week. (See how I just go on and on, about nothing.)

I hope some way comes for both of you to get the hours you want, perhaps God can do that for you. At any rate, I will pray for the best possible outcome.

A and C are behaving themselves and both are well.

The twins are doing well also, but they are only 11 years old. Sometimes I wish I could keep them this age, but I know it wouldn't be the best thing. One of my grand daughters was over last night, and I played with her for an hour or so. I enjoy the cycle of life, and things are as they should be. Just wish the teen years were not quite so difficult.

Tell us how your mum liked her trip, and if the boys get bored with Corfu, you can always bring them to the Grand Canyon. I think they would enjoy it.

Time to go collect D from work- he is a pot washer at a local hotel though after yesterday events I'm not sure how much longer I'll allow it.

I hope he will help his mum out by being a little more obedient, and helpful.

I was able to go with S on a winter camp this last weekend. It gets cold at night in the mountains, I think I will stay in town for a few weeks. Not sure if I like sleeping in snow caves at this age, though everyone ought to try it at least once in their lives so they appriciate their home, and warm bed. At least you can be glad you don't live in a snow cave. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

What does A say about D's troubles?

SS

Hi

So glad to hear your w is better. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
God is so good- despite the trauma's with D I am so aware of Him working in my life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
On sunday while at church I began to think about the thing I really miss about being 'single' is having someone to give me a physical hug when times get difficult- ie the problem of D. At the end of the service I was chatting with one of my friends from house group about another matter and suddenly she reached across and said - hear let me give you a hug. she knew nothing about D but I know it was God prompting her- its not something she would do automatically while we chatted.
The following morning the pastors wife called me to see how I was doing and say I'd been on her heart. She encouraged me - in particular about my parenting skills- as you can imagine I have been questioning them!
When I came off the phone I picked up my bible intending to continue reading in Isaiah but it fell open at the following from Job chapter 22
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Yea, then shalt thou delight thyself in the Almighty, and shalt lift up thy face unto +God: 27 Thou shalt make thy prayer unto him, and he will hear thee, and thou shalt pay thy vows; 28 And thou shalt decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee; and light shall shine upon thy ways. 29 When they are made low, then thou shalt say, Rise up! and he shall save him that is of downcast eyes. 30 [ Even] him that is not innocent shall he deliver; yea, he shall be delivered by the pureness of thy hands . </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This really spoke to me about Gods work in all this.

Its good that God has been conforting me at this time for tonight the police arrived. I've to take D to the police station tomorrow after school so they can arrest him, finger print him, take a DNA sample and photograph and then reprimand him- thats if he admits to having the cannbis and it being his for his own use. If he was to deny either part then they would take the case to court. Afterwads D said - see they aren't goign to really arrest me!! I wish he would realise the trouble he is erally in. Perhaps the actual process amy show him! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Tomorrow is A's birthday so we will be celebating with a meal for him and is friend then on friday he and C go down to T's. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and I'm involved in various parts of the evening service- so a busy day.

Going back to previous post. I leave the house and let T stay here so that I get a short break and time to myself- also it means he gets to take and collect D from work which at least gives them some time together to chat away from TV and computer.

I'm glad that S seems to be settling down - I have hope of the same with D- someday!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

HI SS
Well the police station visit is over. D told the police that he had bought from someone he didn't know before christmas- Afterwads he told me that he'd lied so he didn't have to go to court and that he was really holding it for his friend! I still believe the first story we heard- that he bought it at New Year. I'm not sure where to go now in dealing with this- do I forget about it or should I discipline him further.
A has had a good day tyhough he has to wiat until Easter hols for his main present- which T and I are buying together!! Had a really amusing phone conversation with MIL tonight. Its IL's golden wedding in October and so she has invited me and the boys to the celebration- I checked she really wanted me there as wel but she said of course she did as I'd been part of their life for so long- it will be 22 years by then! She then went on to ask me about T's plans- had they sold the house yet and how was his job going! I told her what I knew and then laughed and said it was strange us having this sort of chat. She agreed but said that T never contacted them very often.
Then it was time for church the Ash wednesday service. It was so good to go after a day like today and to give myself in worship and serving God. how house group was leading the service so there was plenty for me to do.
Hopefully my life will be a quiet again for a while:) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
jante

It looks like you miss the boreing life a little bit.

I'll get back when I have more time.

SS

Hi J,
{{{{{{{{{{J}}}}}}}}}}

God is so good- despite the trauma's with D I am so aware of Him working in my life.

Good, it is terrible to sometimes have thoughts that we are all alone in the world. I am glad you don't think that.

On sunday while at church I began to think about the thing I really miss about being 'single' is having someone to give me a physical hug when times get difficult- ie the problem of D. At the end of the service I was chatting with one of my friends from house group about another matter and suddenly she reached across and said - hear let me give you a hug. she knew nothing about D but I know it was God prompting her- its not something she would do automatically while we chatted.

Thanks for sharing this with us. It strengthens my faith also. I wish you could talk more to your local friends about what is happening, but then, sometimes we don't want others to know. One of my sons spent a night in jail a few years ago, and I wasn't excited to tell everyone. It turned out to be a misunderstanding, but it was printed in the local newspaper, so I got lots of comments. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />


The following morning the pastors wife called me to see how I was doing and say I'd been on her heart. She encouraged me - in particular about my parenting skills- as you can imagine I have been questioning them!

I can't imagine that, in fact, because of the high reguard I have for you. I never even thought you might question your skills. After all, if I, who live so far away can see what a good job you do, with very little help from T, then YOU ought to know what a good job you are doing.

But then, we seldom see our selves as others see us. I had better make this plain.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DO AS WELL AS YOU DO. YOU DO SO WELL CONSIDERING ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED. D DOES AFFECT CHILCREN, BUT THAT IS T'S FAULT, NOT YOURS.

Sorry for raising my voice, but I wanted to make sure you heard me. Perhaps you (as do we all) have some faults. Perhaps you do, but please accept that you have strengths also. Please remember how difficult it has been to get to where you are, and remember that much of your time for the last three years was just existing - hoping, praying, and finally going ahead and doing all that you could.

I still believe that when you do meet the Lord, he will say "well done thou good and faithful servent" - at least about this part of your life. I have every reason to believe the rest of your life will be the same.

I think the scripture is a good one, and I think it was God speaking to you. I believe he will continue to comfort you.


Well the police station visit is over. D told the police that he had bought from someone he didn't know before christmas- Afterwads he told me that he'd lied so he didn't have to go to court and that he was really holding it for his friend! I still believe the first story we heard- that he bought it at New Year. I'm not sure where to go now in dealing with this- do I forget about it or should I discipline him further.


I wish I had an asnwer for you, but I don't. Sometimes God has encouraged me to be harsh, sometimes to be kind. One night I went to the bedroom of our 2nd son, to ask him to move out of the house. I was stopped at the door by strong feelings to leave him alone, and go back to my own room. Within a few weeks, he was doing much better, and the problems seemed to go away on their own. Often it is that God knows things I don't know. I am glad he helps us, and believe he will help you. Perhaps you already know by now.


A has had a good day though he has to wait until Easter hols for his main present- which T and I are buying together!!

So..............what is it?
I promise I won't tell. Promise !
Did T come up with this idea, or was it yours?


Had a really amusing phone conversation with MIL tonight. Its IL's golden wedding in October and so she has invited me and the boys to the celebration- I checked she really wanted me there as wel but she said of course she did as I'd been part of their life for so long- it will be 22 years by then! She then went on to ask me about T's plans- had they sold the house yet and how was his job going! I told her what I knew and then laughed and said it was strange us having this sort of chat. She agreed but said that T never contacted them very often.

MIL knows you well, and it is as I have been telling you - you are of great worth. She is right, you have been a part of their life for so long, and she loves you, and she knows what is best. No matter what T does, you should go, and have a good time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Let us know how things go with D, we have been praying extra hard for this to turn out well.

You haven't said much lately about C. In all the excitement, I hope he is OK.

A seems to be both smart, and tough, but I suspect he still needs hugs too. (remember, I am just talking, not recommending.)

Hope you are sleeping well.

SS

<small>[ February 10, 2005, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hi SS
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm not sure where to go now in dealing with this- do I forget about it or should I discipline him further.


I wish I had an asnwer for you, but I don't. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I decided in the end to leave it at the visit to the plolice station. D knows how disappointed I am with him. School also decided not to punish further but sent me a letter saying how disappointed they were with D but how pleased they were for my support.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> A has had a good day though he has to wait until Easter hols for his main present- which T and I are buying together!!

So..............what is it?
I promise I won't tell. Promise !
Did T come up with this idea, or was it yours? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually it was Angus' own idea- he wants a mountain board and the safety equipment but the shop we can purchase it from- at the mountain boarding place won't be open until easter.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You haven't said much lately about C. In all the excitement, I hope he is OK.

A seems to be both smart, and tough, but I suspect he still needs hugs too. (remember, I am just talking, not recommending.)

Hope you are sleeping well.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">1. C is doing fine, playing fottball weekly and happy with his friends.
2. A gets cuddles from me regularly-though he pushes me away when hes had enough <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
3. My sleep is pretty ok. Thanks

T was here this last w/e and was telling me of his plans for his wedding. he wants the boys to attend- and wear kilts. So far he has told A and C but not D. he plans to do that next w/e when they are staying with him and S. perhpas he hopes S will persuade D!!
I'm feeling raw at the mention of the planned wedding- at a castle in Scotland! I had told T when I had booked my weeks holiday from work . T then went and booked the 2 previous weeks to take the boys away so I had resigned myself to not getting away on my own this year and was looking forward instead to time with the boys. now T has booked his wedding in the week that I am NOT working and as its in Scotland the boys will be away from Wed evening until late Friday night- so cutting into that week and making it useless for me to do anything <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
However I've no doubt I'll get over this as with everything else <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I am also of course upset that he is going through with this wedding- but accept that it is well and trully over between us now!

I had my meeting with the Bishops representative on monday to discuss my application for ordination. I will continue to meet with him over the next months until he decideds that I am ready to go to a selection conference or that I am not suitable. in the meantime he has given me a number of tasks to do includinh reading- so i must get on with some!
Jante

Hi J,
I read this yesterday, but our broad band connection crashed, and it took me a while to set up a replacement (slow connection) until we get new equipment to fix the fast one again. I suppose this is part of life.

I decided in the end to leave it at the visit to the plolice station. D knows how disappointed I am with him. School also decided not to punish further but sent me a letter saying how disappointed they were with D but how pleased they were for my support.

It's hard to know what is best in all situations. I tend to pray a lot about these kinds of things now. I already know that *my* wisdom is not enough. After watching you for a few years, I think you will do fine in the long run, but it surely is difficult when each event happens, isn't it.

We try to watch them more closely after something big, and give them more love, and attention. Most of the time, they don't want attention, or they say they don't, but they still seem to respond in a good way to it.

Actually it was A's own idea- he wants a mountain board and the safety equipment but the shop we can purchase it from- at the mountain boarding place won't be open until easter.

None of our boys have tried this yet, they moved on to things like jumping trucks through the air at the sand dunes. Mountain boarding sounds safer.

At least none of the trucks belonged to me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If you haven't noticed it yet, boys are different than girls. In more ways than one.

It sounds fun for A, something exciting, but probably about as safe as skiing. I started ridinig a motorcycle at about 14, but we lived on the edge of town boardering the desert, I didn't ride on city streets. Mountain boarding is bound to be safer than that was.

Glad to hear the boys are happy, and well. Sara asked about A yesterday, out of the blue. She said she tried to email him twice this last week, and he never answered. I told her that the mail account may not work any longer, that people often change them. I also told her she could mail you, and ask about a mail account, but she didn't respond. It kind of supprised me that she remembered, and tried again.

I asked her what she wanted to ask, and she said "nothing really, I just tried to mail him." I thought you would find it intereresting also, so I relay it to you.

3. My sleep is pretty ok. Thanks
Like I have said before, I shouldn't worry, and I don't know why I do, but........I do.


T was here this last w/e and was telling me of his plans for his wedding. He wants the boys to attend- and wear kilts.

I remember seeing photos of a wedding where he and the boys were in kilts. I think it was your foster daughter - I can't remember her name. They looked pretty good in kilts, much better than I would. I think I will stick to the hawaiian shirt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


So far he has told A and C but not D. he plans to do that next w/e when they are staying with him and S. perhpas he hopes S will persuade D!!

I have mixed feelings about this. Some times, I think they should go, and some times, I feel like saying "well, if you don't want to go, you don't have to go." After all, he did leave them, and he was taught better by his parents. It's not like what he did was right or anything.

As you well know, this has nothing to do with me, I just relate my thougts as though I were involved, which I am not........directly anyway.
I am thinking you may have similar feelings, this would be hard.


I'm feeling raw at the mention of the planned wedding- at a castle in Scotland!

He tends to be predictable, doesn't he. At least, it sounds a lot like the T I know. I could cry with you, but instead, I'll tease you and see if laughing, or smiling helps more. That's why I made the kilt comment. I just wish I was better at this, and could use actual humor, not the dry stuff I usually come up with.


I had told T when I had booked my weeks holiday from work . T then went and booked the 2 previous weeks to take the boys away so I had resigned myself to not getting away on my own this year and was looking forward instead to time with the boys. Now T has booked his wedding in the week that I am NOT working and as its in Scotland the boys will be away from Wed evening until late Friday night- so cutting into that week and making it useless for me to do anything <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I think I would be mad also. You could say: "That's not a good week for the boys to come, I don't think they can make it that week." Then see what he says.........

Is there any way you could change the week holiday from work to have time to spend with the boys?

Oh, I am sure you have thought about all your options, I feel so bad for you.

However I've no doubt I'll get over this as with everything else <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I am sure you will get over it, but you shouldn't have to. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Did you have plans for the time you were going to spend with the boys? Australia? Grand Canyon USA?
World cruise?

I am also of course upset that he is going through with this wedding- but accept that it is well and trully over between us now!

I have lots of thoughts about this, but nothing I ought to say in print. It's hard to express our feelings - I hope you know that though we don't understand exactly how it is - not having been through this, we do care, and we do wish for better days for you. I had such high hopes for T, and for your feelings, that they could be spared this kind of turmoil. Well, I should leave these thoughts, and go to something happier. Just remember when you feel down, we think of you, and we pray for you often.

I had my meeting with the Bishops representative on monday to discuss my application for ordination. I will continue to meet with him over the next months until he decideds that I am ready to go to a selection conference or that I am not suitable.

One of my prayers, is that God will do with you what is best for your long term happiness, and also let you be used to help others in a way that is most pleasing to him, and most helpful to you and the others. I know him well enough that I know he will do this for you.

Well, smile when you read this, remember we care about you. I think often about the boys too - they need extra help, and I continue to pray that they will get it.

Your family is in our hearts, we know God loves you, and cares about you too.

Let us know how the talk goes Monday.

SS