My h and ow and her soon to be ex all work at the same place. H swears he never sees her anymore. The soon to be ex came back to work this week after being off on medical for 2 months. My h and ow's soon to be ex work in the same room together, just the two of them for 12 hours evey night, h said that he told him everything about how he had went by her house to see her and how he wanted sex from her but she said no. But I'm not sure I beleive him because everything I have heard about this man is how jealous he is of anyone talking to his wife and I think if my h told him everything the s--t would have hit the fan, instead the man told him that they could still work together but he had better stay away from his wife. My h says that he no longer wants her and he THINKS he wants our marriage to work. My problem is how to get past the fact that he wanted her instead of me and he would go see her and then come home and have sex with me? And how do I know he isn't waiting for her divorce to be final and then he'll want to try again with her? He says he feels lost feels like he doesn't know who he is anymore. Also I have thought alot about having to take care of myself if our marriage doesn't work so I am going in monday to have my tubes tied while I still have insurance, this makes him very mad, but I know I don't want more children and hav'nt had to worry about it because he had surgery 19 years ago, now I may have to worry about it again and i'm just trying to cover myself. Am I so wrong about this?
luvybug

luvybug, I missed why you called this thread midlife crisis. I checked in because I'm positive that's what my husband is having now. Maybe some people will respond about MLC stuff.

But ... anyway, just wanted to say have you thought about IUD instead of tying your tubes? My H wouldn't have the "big V" after about 7 years of asking him to ... so I went in for a consult. Was planning to do the tube thing, but dr. suggested IUD. Just something to think about.

Headed For Happiness,
I called it mid life crises because his doctor thinks maybe thats the problem and since all this began I have read several books on it and they all describe him. I decided on the tube tying because I'm 47 and know I won't want any other children. What kind of signs is your h showing?
luvybug

Some of these things come and go, but here's what I can think of right now:

Used to listen to talk radio, now has all sorts of new CDs (started before OW, but partially an influence of her)
Lost weight
Very into his appearance
Bought different underwear (at OW's urging)
Not interested in doing things around house
Not interested in doing things as a family
Says, "is this all there is to life?"
Says, "we're boring"
Didn't get a Corvette, but wants to buy a Harley (I think it would be kind of fun, too)
Went skydiving
Can't make a decision about what he wants to do
Has gotten real negative (he was always more of a pessimist, but he's more negative lately ... I'm an optimist <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

I know there are others. There was a thread that I checked out in October or so of last year and he had many of the about 50 signs of MLC.

What about your H?

I'm curious as to the 50 signs of MLC. My husband has been going thru some stuff since moving to sin city (i want to move away from here)! He wants a corvette real bad & rents one with his adult? son (who my husband convinced to move here last year) every time I go out of town. My husband finally convinced his son to buy one (probably 1/2 his?) so he can ride/drive it any time now. My husband won't make friends with any regular family guys his own age (except "bar buddies") and says all my friends (couples) are "boring". Therefore, it's hard for me to make new friends (except some ladies I work with now) and I have no family here. Thanks for any info you may have.

This is an interesting website that may be of help to you, they have a disscusion forum as well. Midlife Crisis Club