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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 509
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to San Diego. We live in AZ. I really am not planning on it, but wanted to see how she would react to it. I told her that I want to start a new life and may move to do it. She seemed surprised, but not necessarily upset. She even left me a message of a Orthodontist friend of my current one who practices there. She sounded somewhat sad on the message and actually sweet too. Do you think she did that so fast to try and show that she doesn't care if I move or does she really not care? I just wanted her to think about me being completely gone and the reality of this.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really am not planning on it, but wanted to see how she would react to it.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And you expect your W to be honest with you... why?
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Well, it is possible, but I don't think I can afford it. I am just trying anything at this point.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 282
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This is called being MANIPULATIVE => telling her something you have no real intention of doing just to get a response from her.
Don't play games.
Really, what are you expecting to achieve by doing this?
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Here's another thing to think about: In the early stages of Plan A, my STBXWH tried to get me to move to a different city by forwarding me job application and advertisements. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> You may be playing right along with her plans.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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You guys are right. I should not have said that. Desparation I guess. I just want her to show me that she cares in some way. I don't know what else to do at this point. The D will be final in three months. I still don't know if I want to keep the house or buy her out either. This has happened soo fast that it is making my head spin. The last few days have been very painful.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 832
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Juke, in GC's thread you just said you were in Plan B for weeks yet just the other day you were talking to WW about moving and asking the board for advice on which plan to be in. Have you given a PBL?
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Joined: Jun 2004
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What's a PBL? I have only talked to her when she calls me in regards to what I am doing about the house.
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Joined: Apr 2004
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Plan B letter, it's a love letter to your WW explaining why you have decided to have no contact with her and explains what she has to do (i.e. no contact with OM and plan to rebuild marriage)to return to the marriage. You will find examples of them here: Sample Plan B letters Read Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley for a ful explanation on Plan A/B, for a summary read this: What are Plan A/Plan B For a summary of Acronyms: Acronyms, Smilies, UBB codes Plan B without the letter explaining why is ignoring. Probably not a great idea. I also suggest you read Greycloud's thread. There is some discussion as to whether or not Plan B is a good idea for a couple with no children.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Thanks. Man, I have been screwing up left and right in this thing. I did write her a long letter, but it wasn't explaining the NC. I think it's too late for the letter at this point isn't it?
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Joined: Apr 2004
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I've not done it yet.....soon, very soon.
Like I said, look at Greycloud's thread regarding plan B for a couple with no kids, decide if plan B is right for you and ask the senior members of this forum.
If you decide it is, write a plan B letter here and post it for input and suggestions on improvements and deletions. Then send a copy to her and the OM.
And don't worry about what has been done, learn from it and go forward, there's not rewind button in this life.
<small>[ July 02, 2004, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: Binder ]</small>
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