WW came over tonight to go over bankruptcy paper work. Seemed strange seeing her since it has been 5 weeks. She looked good. She has lost a ton of weight. Anyway everything went OK. It was like business as usual. No hard feelings toward each other and no Lbing from either of us. But no love there either. Well as she was getting ready to leave I felt like this was the best time to tell her that I was not going to divorce her. Incase you don't know my story I filed for D 6 weeks ago. It was a stupid mistake made on emotions and not thinking clearly. (hello 2 x 4's). I have regretted it ever since. WW got mad that I wasn't going to D her. She kept saying why delay it, that she wants to move on with her life. I calmly explained to her that I love her and care for her so much that a D would not be in our best intrest right now. I also said that I know she doesn't feel any love or care for me, but I do for her. Told her that all pain she has caused me and is continually causing is not enough to take over my deep love for her. Explained that giving her a D would not solve any problems and that by giving her a D I would be giving up on her, myself and our M. Told her that I now realize the mistakes I made, and am working on correcting them but it will take time and patience. WW said nothing during all of this. But I did see a tear running down her face. At the end she said I will see you tommorow to finish the paper work. Then she left. Now I am sitting here wondering if I said and did the right thing or just totally screwed up. I do not want a D. I feel that her A will end at sometime and I want to be there when it does so I can catch her and support her. I am also wondering that since I filed for D and am basically in control as to wether or or not we get D, that I am being to controlling. Will this help us or hurt us? Please let me know what you all think. 2 x 4's welcome if I need them.

I have been plan Aing since April 12, should I move to Plan B? WW is living with OP.

hi, i wanted to bump this post up as i saw you recieved no response yet. with the weekend approaching, you might need to re-ask again on tuesday, it may be pretty quite around here. I for one am going NO WHERE near a computer after i leave (which is in about 10 min <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

personally i believe if you do not want a D, you did the right thing!! it sounds like you openned up to her and you must have touched her to some extent given the tear. i hope the next mtg with her goes well and that perhaps this can be a turning point for you both.

bottomline is, if you don't want D, don't do it!!!

If you don't want the divorce then don't do it. Stall it! Even if you have to make up excuses about why it's not going through. Then do your own private little Plan B and stall the D. It's foolish to go through with it just because you feel pressured to do it. You acted out of emotion.... don't follow through with it because of obligation or pride.

Thanks for the replies. We met again today and everything went well. Sort of. I caught her in so many lies it wasn't funny. But I kept my cool and remained calm, no Lb's. I didn't confront any of the lies. Actually they made me laugh inside. I did not bring up any M or R talk, just stuck to business. I was waiting for her to tell me something because at 3:40 A.M. she sent a text m that said, "I'm not going to do this right now. I'll talk to you tommorow." I didn't respond because I didn't know what she was talking about. I was hoping she would say something today but she didn't. No talk about D at all. I just hope that she doesn't think that she is keeping me on a string. She tried real hard today to tell me that everything was perfect with her situation. But with all the lies I see differantly. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I am definetly not going to D her. I think that if she really wanted a D she would have said so by now. My love for her is so strong, and it is growing by the day.

You are doing just fine. Don't worry about it.

Thanks. Right now I just don't see WW ever coming back to M. I think her pride will get in the way. My feelings are all over the place today. I was doing great before, but thats probably because I have not seen her in 5 weeks.

^

hey what the.....

try this- 1-800-437-1395

its a church=St Johns- bishop Green- I talked for about 20 minutes to the nicest Elder- prayed and talked some more.

PEACE OUT

Is it normal to feel that there is no hope? My WW seems to think that we are just friends going through a tough time. She seems to forget that we are married. I have discovered that she is the one that went after him. That sucks. It is really hard to not Lb. She doesn't respond at all to my attempts to make LB$. I know I must have patience. Before all of this I was a very patient person, now I am running short on this. But I am trying to hang in there, and give this crap some time. But it is hard. Sorry just venting. Only 3 months into this and not sure I can wait another 3 months like it is suggested.

You need to stay in Plan A longer. It is miserable at first, but very important. Sounds like you are doing a good job of not LB'ing. Keep it up, there is lots of hope.

Yes I know I need to stay in Plan A a little longer. But it is hard and very frustrating. Miserble is an under statement. I just love my wife so much. I just hope she gives me the chance to correct the things that were wrong. I have told her that I realize the mistakes I have made and am doing my best to correct them. Also told her that it will take time, and that changes will not happen overnight. But I don't get any sort of response from her. Its like she doesn't even listen to me. Is this normal? And how long should I go in Plan A before going into Plan B? Her life is screwed and she knows it. She just won't admit it. At least not to me. The only thing she has is the cloths on her back and thats it. She gave everything else up. Man my emotions are all over the place the last 2 days.