Well Plan A for me didn't work.

To review. My wife cheated on me after 20 years of marriage. I discovered it 2 months ago. She thinks I'm an old fuddy duddy home body, she wants to party. When I learned of the affair I asked her to cut it off and go into counseling...no go and no apologies..in fact she blames the affair on me and my lack of attention to her needs. Well its true, I did ignore her, due to the demands of my job, but all the while, she was having a ball with her friends, but one of them was a man. IMHO, At the age of 51 she is afraid of growing old, in the last year she went out and got a bunch of tattos and a boob job and face lift. I think she is going through a mid-life crisis. IMHO that is why she had the affair. No kids in the nest all grown 18, 29, 33.

My wife left me for the weekend, she went on 2 day overnight trip with some girlfriends to camp on a beach. I don't know for sure, could be she went to see the OM. I track the cell phone bills/contact but it comes in 30 days late, so I don't know for sure. But, I think she is up there with him. Maybe not though. I don't know for sure.

I don't want a divorce yet, but I'm leaning that way. For now, I'm letting her run, with no complaint. I'm not clinging on. I have friends too but I'm not interested in a revenge affair.

My thought is to ask her to sell the house. I would put the proceeds into a bank account under both names which we could use to live in separate places (on rent) with no contact.

I think we should split and live with no contact.

What do you think?

shocktreatment - I think it is fairly early for Plan B, but only you know when the time is right.

My WH pulled the same thing last July (camping with friends). It turned out to be camping with OW. I threw him out when he came home. Didn't find MB until 3 months later. So I never did a Plan A. He is still with OW.

Thanks for that response.

Good words. I think the time is right for my Plan B. I don't plan to divorce my wife until she wants a divorce. I'm letting her do what she want's without complaint. I can't control what she does at all. I never have. But, I would like to sell our house and live separately ASAP. My son of 19 years, who is attending college will live with me. I would like to rent a place close to his school so he can walk to the classes; its a little further drive to work for me, but not too much. She will live alone.

I plan to discuss this with her this month when the time is right. Probably within the next couple of weeks.

I'll let the board know how it goes.

Best to all BS.