Well I guess it was inevitable, things seemed to be going along great.....yeah things are never what they seem. H called OW last Fri. and broke NC agreement. He called her from his cell phone after work at 12:02 in the morning and stayed on for 19 secs. She either told him to beat it, or she didn't answer. It is still the point. He will be here shortly where we will be talking about it in serious depths. I am about done.

HINY

Hello HINY,

I haven't posted to you in a while.It seemed that my last responses were about being careful and don't let him come back so soon and blah,blah,blah.Not encouraging so I stopped.

I am sorry to hear about this repeat contact.I came on board to read for a short bit and I was saddened to see your topic header.Withdrawal and a failure to safeguard your marriage and work on the specific issues WHY your WH betrayed you are still there just beneath the surface.I don't know exactly what you both have been doing the past several weeks but there's obviously something big missing,not working,maybe just what lead to the A in the first place.I am not blaming you,this is all on your WH's shoulders.

Let us know how the discussion goes ok? I was going to wish you a Happy 4th but I know you are probably feeling down.Take care of yourself.

{{{HUGS}}}

O

Is it possible that the call was an accident. A voice dial gone bad or a speed dial mistake?

I know you want to imagine the worst, but do you really want to decide to end it without hearing his side of the story?

I was called by my MIL whose phone dialed mine after being bumped in her purse.

Just a thought.

Tony

Hi O,

It has taken us a long time to get counseling for him. He has just had his first visit. We haven't even started MC yet it will be another month for that still. There is a lot missing so far. He isn't living here still. I wont let him. I did have a great fourth despite the setback. I have the safety net up, the pain is next to nothing anymore.

JSC,

No mistake, when we spoke about it earlier he admitted to calling her. He didn't go into specifics on whether he spoke to her or not. My theory is she told him to beat it as she did before. I would be really mad if someone called me at midnight also. She has told him several times now to beat it.

All in all our talk went okay. I told him I have been hurt enough and that I would rather be alone than have me and the children hurt again. I said I didn't feel as though he had feelings for me anymore and he said he does, but they aren't as strong as he would like them to be. He said he thinks we need to spend more time together. I think he is just using me for now, I am better than nothing. He is waiting for her to call, I saw her coming out of a restaurant with another man last week so I don't see that happening real soon. So what to do? Be second best? I feel like telling him to take a hike I tell ya that.

HINY

HINY - Don't give up so easily. The fact that OW wants no contact is good for you. He will quickly come out of the fog/fantasy. Then he WILL get his feelings back for you. He has just been "temporarily insane".

Believer you may be right. Sometimes I don't feel like being second anymore. So I get lost as to what I am supposed to do and feel. I feel like I am just better than nothing most days.

HINY

Sigh, HINY, you've come too far and have put up with a lot... won't you just consider sticking this out till H realise what true love and commitment is? Do you think he is mature enough to realise that?

You are in my prayers.

Honestly I don't think he is mature enough to realize what he has.

Honestly I don't think I have faith in our M anymore.

Honestly I don't think I have committment in our M anymore.

HINY

Now is when you must make your best effort. Don't give up - things can be good again. You are not second best - he is just deluded. Stick this out.

Believer,

I am trying.

HINY

bump for spidey.

HINY