By way of an introduction, I am 26. Married for 3 years, dated H for 7 years before we tied the knot. My H is a wonderful person, but I am miserable in the marriage. I feel like we aren't at all compatible, and I don't know what I was thinking to get married in the first place. In retrospect, I don't think I was happy before we got married either, I think I was just scared to be alone.

I have tried to talk to H (not about my being miserable, but about specific issues that I think contribute), and he is pretty good about working through the issues for a day or two, but lapses back to his old ways afterwards. I feel like I do all the work in the relationship, and I'm just tired of putting in so much effort. H is very laid back, and is happy with our relationship, so he just isn't motivated to expend any effort.

I have not (and will not) have an A, but lately I've been noticing how much more I have in common with everyone (men and women) than I have with my H. I'm wondering what I've gotten myself into. Can I turn this around and be happy?

Please help me.

Not Yet Fallen

Your right, it is a pity party, but you are ALONE, yeah. Better than my choices. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Fix it, at all cost. Find a common ground. Do the MB questionaires.

I'm glad your not going to have an A. I was an idiot. Still am, but that has nothing to do with the A.

KY

Dated 7 years before you tied the knot....

I don't think you did it for the wrong reasons, you had good reasons perhaps you have forgotten, or are changing your perceptions.

You have plenty of opportunity to salvage a loving marriage, plenty of opportunities to be happy with your husband, the one you "chose" 3 years ago. Read the book, HNHN, make a plan. I wish I would have.

Also make sure your H knows the gravity of your feelings and understands them. He will jump with both feet if he thought you felt this way and weren't trying to manipulate him.