Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
And another bump.....


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Up..one more time...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
This is the post I was looking for, Sis...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
praise the LORD..

I done found it...

ain't as dumb as I look....:)

ARK
(shuddup melody....)

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 136
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 136
*UP* for Bugsmom.


Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~Benjamin Franklin~
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
plan a ...
is not for the weak hearted...nor is it for anyone that wants an instant gain or return...

maybe plan a should be viewed sometimes as a negotiator....like the kind used when some wacko is holed up in his apartment...with a lighter in one hand and a can of gas in the other...

the negotiators bigger goal...no matter what the topic..is to keep the line of communication open...

the pay off or goal during this time is not the wackos (insert alien vision here )surrender..though that is the end goal...the negotiators bigger goal is to keep contact...and conversation flowing...some meaningful..but I bet a lot of it's not....

a lot of a conversation between a wacko and negotiator....probably doesnt make much sense..and most likely is not very honest....and probably is a lot of babble...of things that can't be changed...but the negotiator's job is NOT to react
NOT to powerstuggle
NOT to win a point arguement or even care if the wacko likes him or her...

the goal is keep the line of communication open...

plan a is all about that sometimes...
fluff fluff..while inside you are dying to talk to your rational spouse....

but when you force that issue...the WS withdraws...and just starts threatening to flick the bic....and blow it all up...

view every interaction with your WS while in plan a...as a goal of keeping communication open..
which doesn't mean you talk for hours...sometimes it all about short conversations...but always try to leave the WS thinking

ARK

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

seriously though..is anyone else as sick of seeing this post as I am.....

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
no

I enjoy your

~crapola supreme~

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
will you marry me...

sometimes mr ark gets too full

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
pushing it up

people please please remember these very very VERY important things about plan A


1. It is done with expectation that there is contact
(not a typo)

done with full disclosure that you
think
assume
know
there is contact....



2...and most importantly...

the factor that frees you to even DO plan A,....
is the absence of

nothing
nadda
zip
zippity zip
big fat zero
nadda
nitch
zero squared
zero cubed
zero to the enth degree....

of EXPECTATIONS OF YOUR NEEDS BEING MET...

that is why plan A is done for short period...

cause it is draining and emotionally sucks..
(hear that big sucking sound in the back ground....???)
that's a really good plan A,......

does any one NOT understand this...

(some of you don't ...)
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

which is why some of you are in so much more pain...

no expectations is the most freeing aspect of plan A..
and lets you expend all energy on

keeping communication open
keeping attention...(even when it's for that old ugly habit of yours to rear their ugly little head...)
keeping the creativity flowing

whisper your plan A...
it can be deafening...

ARK^^

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
^^ for littlebit....

Page 7 of 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,361 guests, and 92 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson, Logan bauer
72,026 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by leemc - 07/18/25 10:58 AM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Spying husband arrested
by coooper - 06/24/25 09:19 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,522
Members72,026
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0