Ok, I need some major advice here… I will be posting this on both the D/D board and the GQII board as I feel the overall tone of advice differs greatly between the two. This may end up kinda long… but please bear with me as I feel the M may be at a major crossroads.

Some background for those who aren’t too familiar with the saga that is my M…

My sig line give the necessary details of the beginning of the end, currently we are in the opening stages of a custody evaluation which will take 3 months, figure another couple of hearings after that and I figure the D will be final around the middle of October or the beginning of November. I figure I have about 4 months to turn this around. I did a lousy plan A, a half @ss plan B, a pathetic plan B II, and communication kind of deteriorated into bickering for a couple of months with me being consistently monotone and emotionless with her for the past couple of months. Since she moved out I have tried to not have communication with her at all, but found that I needed to with regards to the kids and at their request I have invited her to attend some events with us which she made certain I understood she would not go to. Short of that though there was none. She has been bitter and nasty until recently. She is pretty much living with the OM whenever she doesn’t have the kids.

Here is the dilemma… in short, assuming that I want to recover the M, do I try to plan A her or do I attempt yet another plan B??? The way I see it, both have their drawbacks. The first issue though that needs resolving is the question of whether or not I even want her back. There is still a spark there… something, I can’t put my finger on it. Yet, I know logically speaking that I would be much better off without her. I am willing to give the M another run for the kids though. So I guess I kinda answered my own question there…

In the last week or so she has been noticeably more cordial and nice to deal with. I have heard from some of the neighbors that the bets are on the table so to speak about how much longer the A will last. The party days seem to be coming to a close and I hear of troubles between the OM’s daughter and WW… which can only help my cause! Also, it is becoming pretty common knowledge around the neighborhood how immature the OM is…. Rather, he is a frigg’n child. I have some theories that WW is only especially nasty to me when the OM is right near her. I think he is so insecure that she feels she must prove herself to him by treating me especially badly. I have no proof of that, just an assumption. And he has a temper… he has gone off on me a couple of times. I mentioned to her that I have noticed that she has been nicer and I really appreciate it, that it makes dealing with the kids allot easier. She agreed and thanked me for saying this to her. I spoke with her in person for a minute on Friday night, as she was visiting with my neighbor. She looked GREAT. She has lost about 20 lbs. (bringing her down to about 105 or so) and was nice and tan. I missed her allot all weekend.

The problem is, short of what I’ve heard from the neighbors… there is no evidence whatsoever of the A ending… infact it appears they are progressing along towards a M of their own. Like I said, she practically lives over there and he has even cleared a spot in his garage for her car… how sweet. They partied all damn night on the 4th and she couldn’t figure out why I was distant with her on the phone when she called Monday to talk to the kids. She seems to be trying to engage me in conversation more and more lately. I can’t figure out if she is trying to figure out what her options are, if she’s cake eating, or if she is only being amicable for the sake of the custody evaluation… in order to appear willing to co-parent with me. I can’t tell… but she hasn’t been this nice in a long while!

So, where does that leave us… assuming y’all have been able to follow my ramblings here (my mind is going 100 mph here and I’m trying to get this all in one shot). I don’t know if I should try to engage her in a sort of plan A and maybe try meeting some of the needs that @sshole isn’t… assuming I could figure out what those are and she would let me meet them. I don’t want to be her safety net, I don’t want to enable her to keep this crap up, and I don’t want to open myself up to getting crushed by her again… I don’t think I could handle that another time.

Of course, maybe she IS cake eating and I should go back to being dark… let her go thru this alone. Her parents just moved 300 miles away and now she is “here” all alone with regards to family. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing… she has a semi-volatile relationship with her parents. Although they sure seemed to be supporting her thru all of this… paying her rent, attorney’s fees, ect… Maybe plan B is more in order. But I want her to be able to trust me, if I keep being nice and going dark, being nice and going dark and so on I don’t see how she could trust me.

I really feel this is at a crossroads but don’t know how to respond to it. Nothing seems to have changed on the A front, other than her behavior towards me. How do I respond???

Ok, that’s it… please feel free to respond… anyone! Also, if there are any glaring holes in the story, please feel free to ask and I will fill in the necessary info… like I said, my head is running 100 mph right now and I’m sure I left some important stuff out. Thanks for your help and reading all the way thru this.

Ryan

<small>[ July 07, 2004, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]</small>

Want

Others may differ in their opinions and advice here, but here's mine, for what it's worth.

She's softening up and communicating with you now in a cordial manner. Study up on Plan A, and know it intimately. Plan A your A$$ off, and show her that you will be there for her.

Read ark^^'s post in GQ II entitled "plan a musings" or something like that. Plan A works, but you cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, do it half a$$ed.

Make changes in yourself regarding problems or concerns WW had with you in Pre-A days.

Know that she's in the fog, and she is incapable of meeting any of your needs.

Meet as many of her needs as you possible can, making deposits as often as you can in her LB$.

Avoid, no, STOP any Love Busters. All of them. No Disrespectful Judgements, no Angry Outbursts, no Love Busters of any kind. These will only make the OM appear to be the safe haven for her future.

Show her by your ACTIONS that you can and will forgive her and that you are only interested in making your marriage a better one than you had before.

Never denegrate the OM, or say ANYTHING negative about him. She will become instantly defensive, and you will "force" her to defend him.

Plan A, in my opinion is your path. But if you do it half-a$$ed as you did before, you will get the same results.

It appears that all may NOT be well in her new paradise, and you need to be the rock, the lighthouse, the safety net, to catch her when the bottom falls out.

Read ark^^s post. Read about Plan A on this website. Get the book, Surviving an Affair and read it too, if you haven't already.

This will take all the focus, dedication, determination you can muster. Plan A will work only as well as you execute it.

Good luck

SD

Shattered...

Thanks for the response. I'm kinda leaning that way too as it will not only open my W up a little more but will also help with the custody evaluation. I need to be keeping that in mind too, with whatever coarse of action i take. I can't afford to assume that the M may be saved. I HAVE to keep my kids in mind. So I think Plan A might be the way to go here as well. But I have to tell you... it scares the heck out of me getting close to this again. At least before she was trying to hide it... now she is conducting the A right out in the open for the world to see. And the world appears to be giving her all the validation she needs to continue it.

Ok, we have one vote for Plan A.... anyone else... anyone... anyone... Bueller... Bueller... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hmmm...
There are pros and cons to each as I'm sure you've figure out by now.

I agree with no LB, no downing the OM.

What is wrong with the current course ? You still have time either way. Divorce isn't final.

Her A WILL end. The chances of survival are next to nothing, but it's her OWN walk that will make or break the deal. You can't help it along at this point. Just find peace in knowing it will happen.

She obviously isn't having all her needs met by OM, or the defensiveness would be on an all time high. She seeks something out from you. Do you give it to her ? Then all her needs are being met between what OM does and what YOU do ?

If he is who you claim he is....stay right on the path you are on. He'll fail her miserable, and she'll seek out the lighthouse in her storm.

Just my worthless 2 cents.

Good morning all. Well, pending the outcome of any discussion here… I’ve decided to start with plan A… so far so good. We talked on the phone for a good while last night and it was nice… not sappy or anything, just light and jovial. This morning our son was having a cavity filled (he is 5, this was his first cavity) and both of us were there. WW couldn’t bear to watch the dentist drilling into his tooth so she kept looking away… right into my eyes. We had some nice, seemingly long, eye contact a couple of times. I played it pretty cool I think.

I’m keeping my guard up and had to interject a bit of a boundary with regards to the OM once last night as she was trying to tell me something involving him. I don’t want to be her “buddy”… I want to be her husband. So I simply told her that I wouldn’t refer to the @sshole as “the @sshole” if she wouldn’t refer to him at all. She chuckled and agreed.

Basically I figure I have nothing to lose here, we are already headed to D… so why not play along and see if I can cause some kind of doubt in her. Doubt that A) she is making the right decision by leaving me and B) doubt that this OM is “the guy” for her. So… I’ll play along and see where it gets us.

What do y’all think so far?

C'mon guys... throw me a bone here... looking for opinions and advice on this... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Alot has been covered and it sounds like a good plan, but remember this...
You may know in your heart and mind that you are a better man or fit for your WW, but you need to prove it in actions "NOT WORDS".

I made this mistake for a while <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I thought hey its obvious come on this is ME. How can you compare OM to ME? INSANITY! This only pushed her further down the road to OM! Instead of talking/chastising/sarcastic remarks
put into action your PLAN A...be the best H you can be and "SHOW" that you can meet her EN's.

Stay strong and also realize that even if things look dim you are learning and bettering yourself. She will be back, as long as YOU dont LB the situation. Another thing I noticed is WS's sometime hesitate coming back due to shame and embarrassment. Just think she made this decision, now its all out in the open...maybe she feels people will see her as "Crazy Person" if she returns to you, because it proves she made a bad decision. Bad decisions are best made in private. I hope I worded that right <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Do your best to be the one who fulfills her needs. I noticed something during my own drama. Us BS's sometimes forget we contributed to the situation before the A started. If we could have been more attentive this probably wouldnt have happened. Try to go back and time and remember what preceeded the A. Be honest with yourself, that's what I'm trying to do. Correct those LB's and do it consistently. She will respond.

Good luck and don't get too down, it aint over till its over and then it still aint over
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ July 08, 2004, 10:32 AM: Message edited by: FamilyMatters ]</small>

Thanks FM… this is exactly what I’m trying to do. I have had the same thoughts about how damaging to the ego it must be to tell all you friends and family how rotten the BS is and how justified you are in leaving… how you simply “had” to get out of there… then only to come crawling back. That has got to be really tough to do.

Also, I agree with the thoughts on remembering what I as the BS contributed to the breakdown of the M. I haven’t lost sight of it… believe me. I have always maintained that I will take AT LEAST 50% of the blame for the conditions that led our marriage to the point where we became vulnerable to her infidelity. But the affair itself… the walking out on and breaking of her vows was all her doing. Now don’t get me wrong… I don’t in anyway plan on rubbing in her face… I want to address it and move on. Once it is past us it is past us for good as far as I’m concerned.

Right, I understand I feel the same as you I may have contibuted but my WS's A was not an responsible decision. What I meant is for you to concentrate on fixing those LB's...logically if you and I can do that...we can fulfill our W's EN's. Please read ARK's post on musing her in this forum. Ark and the other contributers in that thread explain in better detail what you next course of action should be.

Get rid of those LB's...from what you're saying I think she's fighting with herself and if you layout the "Welcome Mat" not so much in words but in actions, I think she'll be back.

Good Luck friend we both have work to do, but I think its worth it. I sometimes wish I would have stumbled onto this site before my W's A...but I definetly need it now.

Take Care

My .02 worth? Yes, Plan A your tailfeathers off.

Sounds good what you're doing now. Fulfill those most important EN's of hers. Talk, talk, talk. I think it's great that you set boundaries that you don't want to hear about the OM. Let her see the NEW WMWB? Let her see what she could come home to.

There may come a time she may ask you why you are being so nice...she will test your trust...is it because you want custody? No, you explain you have not given up on your M entirely and would like to leave the door open. Say what you've said here, that there is still a spark and you wanted to see what would happen if you fanned the spark a bit, to see if it would ignite.

Leave the door open...definitely keep the invitations and communication open. Dates? Surprise her with things when she comes over. Make the OM look more and more like the selfish schmuck.

Sometimes a couple gets caught in the game of D and don't know when to stop it. It can stop anytime. There may come a time when you could say to her, can we postpone the D proceedings for a month? Come up with some excuses...vacation...kid's events...stall if you want to.

Apologize for the bitterness and the past emotional disconnection. Keep on apologizing. Keep on apologizing...

Compliment, compliment, compliment, the OM won't be able to keep up.

Things are going well… operation “Flirting With The Enemy” is going off without a hitch. So far I am remaining emotionally detached enough not to be affected by the subtle changes in her demeanor or the fact that she is still sleeping at this @sshole’s house anytime she doesn’t have the kids. I just go on being happy and cheerful and ever so slightly flirty. I can see in her eyes (we seem to be having A LOT of eye contact lately) that she may be having some second thoughts about her life right now. I’m not ready to say I think she wants to come home just yet… mostly because I don’t think she has realized it yet. But I can see where she will if this goes on much longer… we may end up divorced first, but I can see she is having some second thoughts about things.

I’m having a bit of trouble not denigrating the @sshole OM though. I have been able to stop with the multiple cursing descriptions (ex.: Low Life Piece of Sh*t cockroach maggot @sshole) but still find myself referring to him in a derogatory manner. For example I may simply call him a maggot or vermin. She is quick to point out that she doesn’t appreciate that from me. I am trying to hold my tongue in check and just call him “that guy”… it is tough but I am trying.

The last couple of time I have talked to her on the phone she seems to be down when she answers but cheers up considerably once we get to talking. I can’t help but think this is a good thing. Also, she took the kids to a parade last night… this was my day and we agree that she could take them for a couple of hours. Well, I spoke with her yesterday afternoon and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go or not. She thought maybe we could all go out for ice cream or something. I just played it off cool saying “well, ok… yeah what ever you decide to do is fine with me.” But by the time she was off work… they were back to going to the parade and @sshole’s daughter was with WW when she came to pick up the kids… I think there may have been pressure from the daughter and/or OM. WW didn’t seem too thrilled to be going. Funny thing though, when WW came to drop the kids off at home after the parade… OM’s daughter wasn’t with. Also, WW appeared to be in a bit of a hurry when they first got back home… like she had someplace she had to be… yet managed to stick around for about 15-20 minutes without any prompting from me to stay. I invited her in the house for a few minutes… she declined with a suspicious “Why would I want to do that? Why am I suddenly allowed back into your house? Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?” I just relied “This is all because you are being decent. I have been very consistent in how I have treated you. The change is yours and it is nice.” She didn’t really have much to say about that. We just stood in the driveway and chatted for awhile before she finally did leave.

All in all, it was a pretty good night and the kids seem to be really enjoying our getting along. My 4-1/2 yo asked WW if I could come to the parade with them when she picked them up… I told him I needed to mow the lawn and then turned to WW and assured her that I didn’t put him up to that. When she left after dropping them off… the same kid asked where she was going. I told him “…home I think.” He just looked at me with a devilish grin and said “…but this is her home dad.” Then he ran off to do what ever it is that almost 5 year olds do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

UPDATE:

The lat week and a half have been great...WW and I are getting along swimmingly...but, Man last night was a little weird. The kids were with WW this weekend and the town neighboring ours was having a community sort of festival… complete with a rodeo. Well WW, my neighbors (WW’s best friend is my neighbor), and @sshole all took their kids to the rodeo last night. Afterwards WW brings kids over to my neighbor’s house for a bit. I was outside and saw them pull up so I walked over there to say hi to my kids and get a hug and a kiss from them. WW seems fine… in a decent mood and relatively nice and decent towards me. I pick up my son and give him a huge hug right as @sshole drives up and pulls into his driveway… he goes right into his house without a word. I chit chat with WW and the kids for a minute or two… the kids love rodeos and were very excited to tell me all about it… well after a couple of minutes I tell the kids good bye and tell my WW to have a nice night and I go back home. I wasn’t invited to be there and didn’t want to horn in on her time or her get together with the neighbors… and in general I didn’t want to overstay my welcome or for WW to become aggravated… so I left. As I was setting up my sprinklers in my yard, my youngest son was trying to ride the neighbor kids bike but was having some trouble with it as he is too small for that bike. I yell over to him and ask if he wants me to bring him his bike… he says yes and I do. I ask WW to just let me know when they are leaving and I’ll come and get it. I go back home. So there I sit, talking to an MB buddy across the country on the phone, having a beer and watching my sprinklers and WW makes about half a dozen rips to either her car or the neighbors garbage can and spends most of her time looking in my direction. I wave and smile… she waves back… each time. About 45 minutes later my son come to the property line (where the sprinklers were set up) and asks me to come and get his bike. I go over there and WW comes around the corner and stands there… I ask if they are leaving, she says they are soon. I hug and kiss my kids, tell them I love them… in a loud, playful, kinda over the top sort of way that a parent does with their kids. WW pops back around the corner for a second. When I am done with the kids I stick my head around the corner to ask the W to have the kids call me before bed. When I do… there is the @sshole… standing on my neighbors front step… chatting it up with WW and the neighbors… a mere 20 feet from me. I couldn’t believe it. We make eye contact for a split second (felt like about 10 minutes…) and I just say to the WW to have a good night and I’ll talk to her later (very polite and calm, almost cheery voice here…). I did ask her about 5 minutes later from my yard, as she was getting into her car to have the boys call me before bed… she nods in agreement. The MB friend, by the way, was on the phone with me the entire time and COULD NOT BELIEVE this was actually happening and how polite, calm, and in control I remained.

Here is the kicker; I mention all those details to put this next part into perspective… The kids call me about 20 minutes after WW leaves the neighbors. I talk to each of them for about 5 minutes each. WW gets on the phone; she is cold, short, and to the point. I ask her if she had fun this weekend and how the rodeo was… if the kids behaved, ect… She is lightening up a little, then catches herself and goes back being cold. I ask about some details regarding a day that she needs me to pick up and have the kids (on one of her days). This is the same week as my birthday. She mentions to me that she thinks I should use the day to do whatever it is that I want to do with the kids for my birthday. I say to her that the custody evaluator has stated that it is pretty much a given that each parent gets the kids on their birthdays… these types of special event and holidays trump the normal schedule. As such, since my birthday falls on one of her days, I get the kids for at least part of that day anyway….she knows this and yet tells me to forget it, no way, if I disagree then we’ll have to have our lawyers figure it out. Then she starts in on me about being nice to her. How she doesn’t want to be my friend, how she know I’m just going to end up screwing her in the end. She starts rewriting history, telling me how this is all my fault, not even letting me get a word in edge wise. Then she goes to hang up and I manage to sneak in a last second “…have a good night.” …before the hang up click.

I was never at any time mean or angry or defensive. I did disagree, but I didn’t argue. I tried to work out the details with her and she only wanted to fight. Makes me wonder though… what caused the change? Is it fog? Did she just dive back into the fog bank??? And if so, what caused that? What did the @sshole say to her???? I mean after he pulls up and I’m there right next to my WW and holding our son while joking with her… then I am nothing but sweet and nice to her while he is standing there 20 feet away… I can’t help but think that this dude must be rather insecure about the R with the WW… so I expect this stuff to bother him… hell, that is half the reason for doing it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> But wow, what causes the change in the WW? How do I deal with it? If I’m plan A-ing… how do you respond or deal with the angry outbursts and revisionist history of the WS? Any thoughts here…???

WMWB

Here is something I posted on another thread just the other day about Plan A. You are seeing the results. The waffling of the WW, hot/cold, is a direct result of your success. The OP sees you calmly standing by, the WW sees you with a heart of gold, treating her with respect. It does not go unnoticed. The final element is Time and Patience. An iceberg does not melt in a day. Continue "killing the affair with your kindness".

One other note. When she comes back, you cannot revert back to PRE A actions that you KNOW she didn't like. These changes are not JUST for now, they must be forever. I think you are doing GREAT. Keep it up!

Here's the post!

"If you are going to buy into the MB program, and exercise Plan A, you are going to have to settle for nothing in the way of getting your needs met for as long as you choose to be in Plan A, or until the A is over and you WH "is there with you".

Plan A is the hardest thing I've ever done. You have to be on your toes at all times, and THINK about every word that leaves your lips.

You have to take care of yourself, and in a way, disengage from the drama of what you are going through and go through it intellectually.

Does a foggy WS give a hoot about you in a meaningful manner? NO. Do they know they are hurting you? Yes, but the addiction to the affair is stronger. Do they intentionally provoke the BS in many ways, so the BS "loses it" becoming angry and LoveBusting, which makes it "easy" for the WS to "view" the OP as the best choice for them? Yes.

Is there anything you can do about all this? Yes. Two things. Make sure you have done the necessary exposure of the affair, and, Plan A. Take every opportunity to fill WS's LoveBank. Stay away from LoveBusters completely. Buck up and make your WS believe you are doing "JUST FINE" without them. Always let them know you love them, and want them, but never let on that you are hurting, needy, depressed, or any other negatives.

Your actions should be to correct any PRE A behavior YOU have done which may have allowed the marriage to be vulnerable to an A. Your actions should be to make your WS think that "holy cow", they are just going on with their life, and treating me really nicely. What the HE\\ is up with THAT!"

To do this you will have to dig down into yourself for a strength you may not even know you have. But take comfort in the FACT that others have done this before you, and they are now recovering their marriages. I have done Plan A, and ended my FWW's affair, and we are now 4 months into a very satisfying recovery.

It is up to you to choose how badly you want to remain in, and, improve your marriage."

I hope this helps...

SD

You did perfect, except for one thing. Do not defend yourself. Reality and truth from your lips mean nothing to her. In the fog, everything said by the BS will be taken out of context, will be seen as a threat, or some kind of manipulation.

Better to keep on being nice. And if she wants to engage in these conversations like the last one, then change the tone. How?

Well first let me tell you why she is doing that. She wants you to get mad. She wants you to defend yourself, so she can rejustify to HERSELF why she is doing this. You see, when truth starts entering her everyday life, the only way for her to deal with it is to blow more fog. And the only way to do that is to get angry at you again, to bring up the old lame excuses. I tried to defend myself for months. Until I got smart.

What I did was at first, I didnt defend myself. I just asked questions. Example? "You'll never change. You are just being nice to me to control and manipulate me. It isnt going to work. This marriage is over so stop trying." My response? "Well, I have heard you before when you have said this marriage is over. And you say I am trying to manipulate you and control you. Can you tell me how I am trying to do that?" Notice, I just repeated what she said, and then asked the question. She might answer "You are being nice to me and all because you want me to come home. But I am not coming home. This is over. You will have to get that thru your head." My response? "Well, you have said it is over. And you say me being nice to you is not going to allow me to control you. So, if that is true, then why are you so angry at me being nice? If it wont change anything, if it is over, then why be angry at me being cordial? Wait a minute, dont answer that. It doesnt matter anyway. Why dont we just end this conversation now. I hear what you are saying, okay?"

And then you end the conversation. Have some reason to hang up (another call) or to go. And leave her with the questions you posed. Now, she wanted to get defensive and angry...and you gave her nothing to be defensive about. you defended nothing. You said that you heard what she had to say (while neither agreeing or disagreeing). You posed questions for her to answer. And then you left her with the answers...her answers.

Eventually, this will cause more anger because she cant use you to blow fog anymore. She will try harder to get you angry so you will say or do something that will help her blow fog. But you dont play!!! Then just as it looks like she is getting VERY mad...you go dark. Plan B. Then, she has no one to vent on (the OM doesnt want to hear it). You wont talk, you wont play her game. At first, she will tell herself that this idiot finally gets it. And she will smuggly view that she has "won." But then a few weeks will drag on and no contact with you. Positive or negative. Then, she wont have the anger to help keep the A warm. She wont have you meeting the needs you were. And the OM wont fill.

She will try to contact you. She will become angry that you wont respond. But eventully, she will contact you. and that time will be different.

So, I believe your Plan A is going well. keep up the nice stuff, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE OM, and do not argue with her. Just say you understand what she is saying, pose some questions for her to answer to herself...and then leave before things get hot. Then, when the time is right (you will know)...GO DARK!!

You might just be seeing the end of the A right now. Dont breathe life into it by plaing into her games.

In His arms.

Thanks guys…I’m pretty much already doing everything you guys said.

MM, good to get your input on this. We posted back and forth back in November when I started my plan B-II attempt. I have to tell you, I am very leary of going back to plan B at any point in the near future. I tried that twice and failed miserably. Basically it just caused a lot of anger on her part and a lot of hassle for me. Now that I am in this place, emotionally speaking, of indifference… I think the M would be better served by just staying unattached emotionally and continuing to be consistently polite and codial towards her. I really don’t see how in the world one could really do a good plan B with kids in the picture.

I don’t argue, and I only disagreed with her in the sense that she was reciting history that was 180 degrees from reality. I just said that “…this didn’t happen this way.” I didn’t argue about the details or try to set her straight… I simply objected to her recollection of events and let it drop. She kept spewing venom and finally must have gotten tired of her own crap…so she hung up. I didn’t call back… didn’t leave any voice mails with my side of the story… nothing. If she wants to be p*ssy and treat me like that… then fine, hang up because I really don’t want to hear it. I will call the kids tonight, as I do every night they are with her, and if she is on the phone… I’ll say “HI, how was your day?” If she just hangs up after the kids are done without saying a word (the precedent)… then I will just hang up and go about my business. No big deal.