My H and I were discussing the lines that he said to me during the A. I feel they were not as "shocking" once I found this site.

Thinking back it would have been nice to have a "list" of "Things you may expect to hear. "

The one thing that really got me was...

I can't sleep with you - I maybe tempted to CHEAT ON HER!!!!!!! (I rolled over and died!!!)

Here are some...

- I don't love you anymore.
- I never loved you.
- I never should have married you.
- She is my soul mate.
- I have never felt this way before.
- I can't hurt her...... She has done nothing
wrong.
- I need to think about me for a change.
- I need to make myself happy.
- She needs me.
- I haven't loved you for a long time.
- She makes me happy.

Just a few...

Survivor

Hi Survivor101,

Oh yea, get/got/getting everyone one of those. Just change the "her/she" to "him/he".

Am, however, glad that I'm not the only one getting the "I can't sleep with you" horsesh%t! Oh no, "*** won't share"...he's porkin my wife and he won't share...GMAFB!

Wow, need to stay out of threads like this and go back to reading SAA (for the second time tonight)! BTW, I'm not "dealing" well this evening (couldn't tell, eh).

my saga

Since we're venting how about this..
My W can't seem to get over the OM and when I confronted him HE was so upset because he had no idea that my W was back in the M...and we've been reconciling since our seperation for over a year and a half!

I went to plan B without knowing it and told the OM that if they loved each other that they should be together. BE HAPPY just stop playing games! I was beyond frustrated. The OM refused he said in his exact words, "I'm a youngin I dont have time for a relationship..."

Now I'm on the phone talking to a "youngin" who's at his mama's house and I'm talkin to him about my 32 year old W and the mother of my 2 children
D13, S6. The OM breaks off the relationship because he as she put it "OM Was very hurt that she lied to him about the status of her marriage"

Instead of coming back and apologizing to me and begging for forgiveness she instead resents me for blowing the whistle to the OM! Consequentially she spent over a week on the living room couch crying in agony and took off work to mope for a whole week.

Now I'm the bad guy? I'm the bad guy because I caught her lying, deceiving, conniving and betraying our commitment to reconciliation. I have 2 children who have been thru way too much. When we decided to put our marriage back together "WE" agreed we would have no contact with our former L's. WW now admits she kept in contact with him the whole time! No wonder our reconciliation was so rocky! I try to explain that we had no chance of rekindling out love with her ex still in the picture. It's like talking to a brick wall. Now WW wants to separate again and drag the kids back thru more nonsense.

WS's are very self-centered and blind. I love my WW but for the life of me I cant understand how anyone sane would throw away a M to spend time with a OM who doesnt even want a relationship, who at his own admission, admits he is not ready for a commitment of any kind..."He's a youngin"!

I'm trying to hang in there and see her as an addict who needs my support. I owe it to her if I love her, and I owe it to our kids. My WW is damaging our lives and this is not the woman I married or chose to reconcile with. I think she is reverting to her life as a "Youngin/teenager/single-woman" but she is not any of those things. She is a married woman approaching her mid-30's with 2 children and a real life.

Somebody stop meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
lololololol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This is how they all are. It takes some getting used to.

Did you also have an A?

Survivor -

I'll add these to your check list:

I don't have that spark for you anymore.
We are roomates raising kids.

Ok...but you had the spark with OW? So I need to be a tramp with a big @ss and some crazy brown growth on my face to give you that spark? I wanted to say...that wasn't an emotional spark it was the build up of electricity from her thighs rubbing together.

Roomates raising kids?....you're gone 80% of the time (training or at war) we have 2 kids (1 of which is very sick or was at the time)and unlike your fantasy world of the A we have bills to pay and life commitments.

The thought of him saying this to me makes me sick to my stomach.

FamilyMatters I completely know where you are right now. I've been there. I feel your frustrations. I can tell you that it does get better. I hope it gives you hope to know that my FWH had a very similar reaction to your WW. After the fog lifted he was a changed man. It was like ALIENS had left his body and he was able to see what he did was wrong.

He is still struggling with guilt right now and it's been months since I openly forgave him. I can tell you that fighting so hard to save my M even when my H was a total jerk to me showed him how deep I love him. He is so happy that I fought for him when he wanted to give up. We now have a better relationship then we did prior to the A. We still take things day to day and sometimes things are rough but we deal with it together.

I hope this helps. I try to find another one of your posts to check in on you.

Some of these same things are being said here too. My FWW is here, but not here. When we get into a discussion and talk about my hurt she'll run back to "why are you still here," or "you and the kids would be better off without me." It's not to continue the A. The OM is also a Youngin and doesn't want anything to do with her. The selfishness is unbelievable. The hurt that thay are so willing and maybe eager to inflict is mind boggling. It's like I don't even know this version of my W. She was so kind, and sweet now she's verbally abusive, harsh, calloused and self-centered.

I'm trying to plan a as well as i can, but not doing to good a job. I'm going to work harder at it.

I've always meant to post this one to one of the "fogese" threads. It makes me laugh now.

Background: OW was thrice-married (twice to same man) thrice-divorced, former cocaine addict, heavy drinker, in and out of a variety of violent, twisted relationships, constantly relinquishing and fighting to get back custody of her 3 kids by two fathers... (IC thinks OW is classic ex. of borderline personality disorder.)

So why did my FWH get involved with her?

"I wanted her to know there were still good guys out there."

Yeah. Whatever.

It really does get better, guys. I'm pulling for all of you.