My IC/MC is interested in CBT and we are finding it to be a big help. In a nutshell, it's about controlling the only thing you really can control in this mess: Your own thoughts and feelings.

For me, as the BS, it is helping to lessen the frequency and impact of triggers as I train myself to be more fully aware of the trigger situation and my responses to it. I've moved from quivering mass to being able to shrug off many (not all!) triggers as annoyances.

For a few days I tracked the trigger on paper, what I was thinking, what I was feeling (physically and emotionally) and rated the trigger 1-10 based on how "real" the threat seemed. Now it's more of a mental process I can use with more persistent thoughts. (What am I afraid of? That the A continues? That FWH will stray again? Both seem really improbable to me. That makes it easier to brush the triggered thoughts away.)

It's really commonsense; rationalization in the best sense of that word. I'll bet lots of A-survivors get there on their own, but I need to have it spelled out.

I will hasten to add that my IC is very respectful of "righteous" anger. This isn't a Stepfordization process. But it helped me to shed a lot of the dross surrounding recovery and concentrate and my most important needs. My fears are not "invalidated," but they are in a more realistic context. Cut down to a size where I can flush them down the sink, if you will.

Here's a page from website my IC printed for our last couples session. (Starting with the Common Thinking Errors section.) http://gwbweb.wustl.edu/Users/dfs1/commskills.html