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My WW recently has been asking me questions ... with not a very nice tone, but still asking. Things about how I've changed in certain ways and how I felt about them. More like "why didn't you do that before, or why are you doing it now." I like the fact she is kind of noticing, but her tone is so condescending(sp)
<small>[ July 14, 2004, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: 1Fla Man ]</small>
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Just answer her truthfully, that you realize that you need to make some changes.
Yuck. Prince Charming will soon turn into a toad.
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I have done that Believer.
I did it before I even found MB. Told her that she didn't have to trust my word, that I would show her. Told her that I learned alot about relationships and communication. How we were hurting each other without many times realizing it. Before I confronted her with knowledge of the PA she listened alot and agreed, then I listened. But since the PA was exposed she has been living hell.
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It sounds to me like she feels guilty big time now that she's caught and she's trying to camoflauge it by being a jerk.... I think its a WS defense mechanism to attack you because the nicer you are the more she feels like doggy poo... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Keep making her feel like doggy poo... <small>[ July 08, 2004, 06:08 PM: Message edited by: FamilyMatters ]</small>
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actually it is good that she is noticing the change in you, honestly it will make her doubt what she is thinking about the om being a "prince"
let the condescending tone of her voice slide off your back - she is probably hoping you didn't change, it would make it easier to continue you in an A - now that you have changed she probably has to wonder if she is doing the right thing
keep it up - Sandy
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Yes...you are complicating her plans now...
Congratulatins, I wish my W gave me some form of recognition that she notices my attempts, but I understand that in PLAN A you shouldn't expect it nor look for it.
You have been given a gift my friend, dont worry about the tone. What you're doing is working.
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Wish I could take it that way FM. But she is worshipping this guy. Only met him once. Can't compete with a fantasy. I am expecting papers anytime. Afraid it will be too late.
<small>[ July 14, 2004, 04:39 PM: Message edited by: 1Fla Man ]</small>
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Reading those IM's must be tough. I'm sorry you're going thru that, but in the end your WW will be the sorry one. This guy on the internet she only met once is a fantasy. In his eyes, she's a fantasy as well. Realities very rarely live up to the fantasy and remember even if you're served papers it's not over. You still have a long road ahead and there will be many forks.
Hang in there.
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Well, she asked me where I would like the DV papers to be delivered. I guess I'll be getting them sometime next week.
She also asked me when I'm leaving the house. Said I have to leave after the papers are handed over.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 1Fla Man:
<strong>
She also asked me when I'm leaving the house. Said I have to leave after the papers are handed over. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This does not make sense.
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Robby, I agree. I told her I wasn't going to leave. She said she can't live here with me, and I suggested she may want to leave for awhile. She threatened to get a judges order to get me out. I haven't done anything but pay the bills and take care of the house, and try to Plan A.
I told her that I wasn't ready to leave but I'd have to ask an attny.
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I'm not very smart...
...but I'm pretty sure I know what state your in.
(of the union, not mental)
Very moderate laws.
Have you been living in the home?
She left?
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I believe in most states that if both of your names are on the lease/deed, that neither can make the other leave unless they cause harm to either the other person or the property.
Otherwise, the home is marital property and is sold at the end of the divorce, during property settlement.
It seems she is trying to brow beat you out.
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Yes Robby, I have been living here. And her also. Living very nicely too until DDay and I confronted her with my knowledge of the PA. From then on she's been terrible. I have tried to be mild. No angry outbursts, no stomping slamming or anything like that.
She seems convinced she can force me out though, and has threatened the same a few weeks ago.
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Let her try to get a judges order. She is the one having the affair and has no means to pay for the house and associated expenses. For the sake of your children, have your lawyer see what he can do to protect your interests. The last thing that you want is for her to make a false claim that you have been an abusive spouse in order to force you out of your home.
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1FLA...
get representation now....
asap
do not let her railroad you...
and also get copies of those IM's
now...back up the convos...
what messenger is she using..
if its yahoo or msn you can automatically
save all convos..
Time for a defense...don't let her uproot
the kids and cause all this havoc...
Get informed as to your rights...
My prayers go out to you...
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Hey Guys,
Divorce papers are just that, papers. If you need insperation, read hopeful_person's post.
Something similar happened to me. Three or four years after 1st wife walked out on children and me and we were divorced, she wanted to try again.
"If you love her, let her go. If whe returns, she is yours. If she doesn't return, she never was yours."
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In my state, the D papers are just papers - then there is an order to "show cause" which means you go to court in about 6 weeks, and woh lives in the house is decided. Check with your lawyer.
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