Okay, I know my W had an A. I know with whom and that they had an EA that turned into a PA. FWW and I have been doing very well for about a month now but today in casual conversation it came up that FWW had spent part of Thanksgiving with OM and his mother from out of state. In fact FWW ran her around while the woman was in town. For some reason this just floored me and I'm ticked. I'm keeping it to myself, but I'm ticked.

I know W slept with this guy so why does it bother me so much that she spent time with his mother? Weird!

Also, for the first time this a.m. while W and I were making love I all of a sudden thought of her and OM together. Is this noraml seeing as that it hasn't happened previously?

Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. E, in my opinion it's very normal. First of all, Thanksgiving is a major holiday. You just found out your W spent time with OM and was so comfy she drove the mom around. It's the realization, I think, that nothing is what it seemed to be. A few months ago I discovered that H was in the EA, and maybe beginning the PA, last May. I graduated from Grad school last May. I thought he was happy for me, now that day has a totally different feel for me. I look at pictures of my graduation and think that H was in his A then. Anyway, maybe this isn't how you feel. Just something to think about.

As far as the sex, I'm surprised it took you so long to not have those thoughts of your W with OM. They had to emerge at some point. When H and I are having sex, and the "B" comes into my mind, I have to picture her as a cockaroach scurrying out of the room and out of my head. Great, huh? OH these As leave us with so many wonderful thoughts and memories.

So that's my 2 cents. All a part of the wonderful aftermath of an A. CV

Thank for your response, your insite, and thank you for the chuckle. I actually laughed out loud when I read the cockroach part.

I should clarify that it isn't the first time that I have thought about them together but it is the first time I have while we were in the act if you know what I mean.

I think I'll try your way if I get another visual but I can't think of OM as a bug because I call my eldest son bugs but I do refer to OM as "the troll" so maybe that will work. Or since his real name is the same as a cartoon character maybe I can try that.

Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!

OOOPS! Did I misspell cockroach? And here I just mocked out Roughroad's OW for her lousy spelling.

I'm glad you got a laugh out of my imagery. You are lucky. I have had moments in the middle of the act where I think, "Hmmmm, I wonder if H did this with her?" That's when I very quickly need to implement the cockroach image to not spoil the moment. Because let's be honest, thinking about our Ss with the OP isn't exactly a turn on.

I will try and remember it's a great day to be alive. I'm still at the point of thinking "It used to be a great day to be alive" until my H decided to screw up our lives. Hopefully one day I will master the acceptance stage. Have a good day! CV

MR E

I got up and run out of the room once while wife and I were in the middle of sex, due to the discusting thoughts.
you ask if this is normal,,, yea brother its very common.

I get the visuals quite often during sex. it is enough to blow a moment. I love the cockroach idea. As a teacher in an old school, I have had to kill quite a few of them and I sure would love to squash OW. Thanks for the new visual. Too bad I can't use it being in Plan b - no sex for me (boohoo)

What helped me was getting an eraser, mentally that is. Whenever a day comes and goes that has triggers for me because I would know what happened on that day 1 or 2 years ago (sometimes a good memory is hell)... I think OK I'M ERASING that right now with OUR memories, with myself, I'm erasing and replacing with US. I'll do everything I can to make it better, more exciting, more fun, more whatever, not to desperately try to keep H but for myself and him, to celebrate the new life we started.
In that way I'll be glad to reach the D-day again. That will be a day with a lot of triggers but it will also be the day we come full circle, a whole year, 4 seasons, symbolically filled with US !

<small>[ July 17, 2004, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: brownhair ]</small>

Thank you all for the input... glad I didn't have to see a video.... OUCH!!! But my four year old daughter told me that she saw mommy pulling on OM's peabody, that's her name for his private part, and he was making a funny noise. Have to admit hand jobs are out right now, sorry to be so graphic.

Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!