this is hard for me. Im almost 48 and struggling with my second marriage and raising a teenaged daughter. my current H and my daughter are not seeing eye to eye- and the lack of respect LOOMS over me constantly.
my husband is falling apart rapidly, with bad knees a bad hip a rebuilt shoulder and plates in his lower back. diabetes and HBP complete the mix.
I was diagnosed with a rare disorder syringomyelia in 2002. Im unable to work, and barely able to move because of the unrelenting pain.
despite this Ive tried to keep up with housework and reduce the amount of Stuff from both of our previous marriages.
this monday, I woke up to a note from him claiming the home was nothing but a house, and that we show him no respect! out of the clear blue!
my daughter is forcing her latest boyfriend on us, and he is rude and disrespectful. to the point that h and BF got into a shoving match and the police were called. daughter and I escaped to her older sisters, but I had to go back since my meds and equipment were still there.
H is not handling the BF issue very well. daughter is pushing all the wrong buttons. I am stuck in the middle.
I love my h, but my daughter wont be around forever-college is a year away.
another problem is intimacy. I am not allowed to initiate-ever. I am lucky if we manage once a month. between pain and diabetes,meds and etc,the thrill left with elvis.
this I can live with- my first h was not faithful and I went without for long periods(lying to myself).
there is something missing right now. respect, maybe.
whenever I am in pain, he has to be in more pain. when he doesnt want to do something or face a problem he hides in front of his computer. ever try to talk to the back of a head?
then there is the "elephant" in the middle of the room- syringomyelia. it will eventually paralyse and/or kill me. definitely NOT in the marriage contract! you know, for better or worse?
Im lost... a daughter with no respect for our rules, a hardheaded h who wont listen and won't take care of himself, and a disease that stole my future. its not fair.

Wow shelley!

I am sorry that you find yourself in this type of situation, it's not fair! But much of life is not fair.

I'd suggest dealing with one issue at a time! Sounds like the disrespectful daughter is where I would start as her attitude is causing other problems. I am not sure how it is that you do that though. Did her and your husband ever get a long? Did the disrespect show up with the new boyfriend? I am sure that there are some good books out there that might help with her.

Be careful if you are talking to the back of a head, many of us have found that the front of the head was typing away to an OP online!!! You might want to check out the history on the computer when your H gets off of it one night.

Have you looked into a support group for the disease that you have? It maybe very helpful.

Not much advice, I know but some things for you to think of. Welcome to MB!! You have come to a good spot, read all of the material here not just post on the forum there is many important principals that you need to learn so that you can improve your relationship with your H and your D.

Best wishes to you!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

yes, the string of boyfriends and the lousy attitude coincide. and I dont check this hubbys traffic-we're christian. that sort of thing is what killed marriage one(another story for another thread)Long, lurid and painful...
right now Im feeling violated and fragile, and trying to forgive if I can. im concentrating on improving his health-and attitude.
Im part of several groups and boards for my disease as well, but we live in a texas backwater, so Im something of a novelty to the medical groups here. I hate being a guinea pig.
I have no one to talk to here-the girls worry enough already.
our 5th anniversary is near the end of this month. I'm dreading it.