Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
#11551 09/17/99 01:32 AM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 315
E
Member
Member
E Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 315
Has anyone ever asked/prayed/looked for signs for guidance? How were these signs revealed to you and how did you interpret them/use them?<P>I pray, but never specifically for signs, however, I have had many. Many that I was not able to intrepret until after the fact.<P>The most frequent and attention-getting signs occurred during H's affairs. Maybe I was "paying" more attention since so much was kept from me. But I had many "weird" things occur that revealed truths. For instance, shortly after discovery and his supposed "ending" of affair, I walked into H's office to answer his phone. I started to hear this hum. I looked all over and found his pager in his desk drawer. Leaving pager was highly unusual, but hiding while in the house was not. Guess who page was from? It was 8:30 pm and it was there regularly scheduled "date" night. I'm sure she was checking to see if things were still on schedule. It confirmed for me that he did NOT, in fact, end it.<P>I have had many "coincidences" like this which have made me a believer that the "truth" shall always be revealed. What was really ironic, in my case, was that I was a snooper and often turned up very little "irrefutable" evidence. Yet, info was revealed to me w/o my actions.<P>Maybe this was God's way of meeting me where I am and asking me to trust HIM.<P>Anyone else ever had signs?

#11552 09/17/99 05:50 AM
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300
Mine seem to be in the form of dreams. Long before discovery I was having dreams that my H was leaving me for someone else. I didn't put much into them until the truth came out.<P>------------------<BR>That which does not kill us, will make us stronger.<BR>* Viki<P>

#11553 09/17/99 05:56 AM
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 155
O
Member
Member
O Offline
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 155
Yes, he speaks to us, in a multitude of ways. The problem I have is I just don't always understand what he is trying to tell me.<BR>In pre-discovery the things lead me to discovery, but it was a slow painful time, not because he wasn't clear, but my own cowardise preventing me from hearing him....

#11554 09/17/99 08:59 AM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 315
E
Member
Member
E Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 315
Pondvj-<BR>I also am a vivid dreamer. In fact, I recall having a recurring dream about him cheating a year prior to him actually doing it. I remember asking him about it at the time of the dream and he told me he wasn't, which was true at the time. Maybe that was my sign then that my marriage was in big trouble.<P>OnceHappy-<BR>I struggle w/interpretation also. Sometimes I feel like He is trying to speak to me, but I just don't get it. I have to pray for God to make it "perfectly" clear as I am "thick" sometimes! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] If nothing else, it renews my faith that He is working in my life....sometimes I just need to let go, and let God.

#11555 09/17/99 09:14 AM
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758
T
Member
Member
T Offline
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758
These kinds of things happen to me all the time! Why is that? <P>God gave me a dream one night, that I can tell you was definitely from him. My eyes just automaticaly opened after the dream, my heart wasn't pounding, and I wasn't afraid. I had perfect recall.<P>God was showing me in the dream what Satan's plans were for my marriage. I shared the dream with a couple of other Christians, and this is what we believe the dream was about. Satan was planning to bring my husband another woman, and give him a new business, and the dream showed that it would happen almost instantly. He would financially tie himself to the OW through the relationship and the business.<P>I rebuked Satan's plan, and started praying many of the types of prayers that Deb has shared on the site. I got real angry with Satan. And I actually felt him flee. My husband and I were separated at the time, and my husband - after that encounter - started calling me daily.<P>There are other signs that I have received from God, regarding my husband - children and my career change. God is really good, and we can trust Him - he really does have a plan for us, and wants us to pray according to HIS will and not according to Satan's.<BR>

#11556 09/17/99 09:26 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
I've had lots of coincidental things happen, dreams, "the small, still voice", sermons that directly address my questions to God. Just last week I was wondering if I was on the right track, you know living as a Plan A wife with a H who no longer wants to be married and is planning to move out again after vacation. Even my counselor says I have one of the strangest and drawn out situations he has seen. What was Sunday's sermon? Forgiving 70 X 7 and confronting sin with love. Personally I was probably hoping for an eye for an eye [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com], but here I am back with 70 X 7...ugh, but I'm doing it.<P>Not through my will or strength, but His.

#11557 09/17/99 09:29 AM
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300
Enlightened,<BR>Don't you wish you would have understood the signs? I know I do. I did not pay much attention to them in the past, but I do now.<P>------------------<BR>That which does not kill us, will make us stronger.<BR>* Viki<P>

#11558 09/17/99 09:37 AM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 315
E
Member
Member
E Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 315
I am also often reminded of the "out of the mouthes of babes". Some out of the ordinary things my kids say sometimes provide clues to me. Just the other day, when I was putting kids to bed, my oldest asked if I was getting on the computer. I told her yes and she said good! I wondered why she was so interested and asked her why she asked. She said because she wants me to get on there and find a job so we can go to Disneyworld! (I've been promising this for the last year, when mommy gets a job...) The next day, I had 9 repeat notifications from the job board I seek most often. Usually just one daily notice of new job postings. This was also odd. Later that day, I received a call for an interview for a job I posted for from that job board!

#11559 09/17/99 09:41 AM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 315
E
Member
Member
E Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 315
Pondvj-<BR>Oh how I wish I understood. If nothing else, I try to at least be watchful...step aside and let Him work. I don't always succeed in that, but I'm learning!<P>On Easter of 1997, our family attended in-laws church service. At the end, pastor was doing an altar call and began to walk out into the aisles and speak directly to members. He walked right up to my H and asked him to "Come to Jesus". It was unusual to me as I had not seen pastors walk away from altar/front of sanctuary. It was like he was making specific pleas but I chalked it up to pastor's personal style. H told me later he was very uncomfortable. It was later that night that I discovered his last affair! What do you think, clear "sign" of who was working here?<p>[This message has been edited by Enlightened (edited September 17, 1999).]

#11560 09/17/99 09:48 AM
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300
Enlightened,<BR>Wonderful news about the interview. I wish you all the luck.<BR>I'm still learning too.<P>------------------<BR>That which does not kill us, will make us stronger.<BR>* Viki<P>

#11561 09/17/99 10:30 AM
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 260
Y
Member
Member
Y Offline
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 260
I have seen direct evidence of God working through my situation. My brother in law & sister in law and I alwasy had a tense relationship. I had convinced myself that they condoned what my W was doing. Nevertheless, I decided to write them a letter explaining how I felt...this was about 1 month after discovery. No more than 1 hour after I mailed the letter, my sister in law called. They had never call me in the 7 years that I knew them. We three are now very close...my W is completely on the outside.<P>My W dropped by unexpectedly a few weeks back. She was mean, cruel and said many things that I normally would have reacted angrily to, or would have been broken down by. I actually FELT the presence of God. he calmed me, allowing me to keep my cool and giving me the right words to say to my W about how I felt. My W became very emotional at times, but soon hardened up.<P>Since then, I haven't sensed any signs. I continue to pray that God's desire is to work a miracle in my marriage so that I can show my W both my love and the the love of Christ for her. Recent events, unfortunately, only signal a strengthening of the affair.

#11562 09/17/99 10:34 AM
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 921
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 921
Signs? I think God actually whispered in my ear trying to tell me what was going on! I couldn't believe how bling I was to certain events so I re-read my journal after the discovery. It's weird but even then God was trying to tell me something through my writing. I know it's eerie, like He's out there, you just have to believe. But he did. He sent me all kinds of signs, too bad I was too blind to see them before they got physical, because God was trying to tell me something before that and I wasn't listening! But maybe He needed for me to go that far so I would truly believe that He's there for me!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

#11563 09/17/99 02:24 PM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,125
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,125
I've experenced signs before... some I realized immediately, and others have taken some time. There are probably some that I never realized.<P>I think God was telling me I need to get back in touch with myself again.... to believe in who I am. I had a dream (recurring, with the realization just last night) about being with the person I most need for me..... someone whom I love dearly, and who loves me unconditionally in return.... throughout this dream, I couldn't identify this person, I just knew I needed to find them again, and once I did, everything would begin to get better. At the very end of the dream last night (this morning [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]), I saw the face of the person God wanted me to find again..... it was me.<P>B<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

#11564 09/17/99 02:43 PM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
I didn't know my Wife was having an afair, but it was a bumpy ride the few months before I found out. We hadn't been to church since May. I had been praying a LOT for God to let me know what was happening. We went to church on Christmas Eve. The next 2 nights I found out about my Wife's affairs. I really believe God put it into her heart to fess up (after some talking about what was going on between us)<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <BR>

#11565 09/17/99 03:04 PM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 9
T
Junior Member
Junior Member
T Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 9
God works his way with you individually. I hadn't payed attention to God for many years until my marriage almost fell apart. God put a man into my wife's life who met the needs she wasn't receiving from me. Once I discovered this, I was able, through God's guidance, to fulfill those needs myself and return her to our home and our marriage. I don't know how he talks to me, I just know he does. I may be receiving it when I pray, when I read the Bible, or just when I'm thinking. I'm just grateful God talks to me.

#11566 09/17/99 09:26 PM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,526
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,526
Hmmm, I would have to say the strongest and most unforgetable sign I ever got from God was the night Mike left me for the wildebeast. <BR> When he walked out the door I just lost it, I had been hysterical before that, but I went into the hall and just feel on my knees, I couldn't even stand. I couldn't pray, all that came out of my mouth was "No God, Please no." I wasn't even a Christian then for crying out loud, but all of a sudden I just knew that I knew that I knew it wasn't over between Mike and I, nomatter what happpened during the year and a half we were seperated I knew we would be back together, I told him that I told her that I told anyone who listened that. That was 14 years ago now, I have never forgotten that.<BR> Even with his last affair, God intervened for me, Mike was going to bring her to our home, can you imagine ? But God moved and she stayed with her h.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

#11567 09/17/99 10:03 PM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
C
cl Offline
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
hi deb, explain this to me better....I was going to ask before but thought it might be rude. What do you mean bozo was going to bring ow to your house? cl

#11568 09/17/99 10:28 PM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,526
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,526
cl,<BR> I mean when I called him the night I found out he was with her at his job, he told me he was coming home the next morning, and he was bringing her with him. I cried and begged him not to, he said she had nowhere else to go. He was soooo insistant that he WOULD bring her, that I had the youth pastor from the church I went to take our son home with him, he had come over to check on us, and to pray with me. I was afraid of what I would do when they got there and didn't want son to see if I lost it. When Mike came home the first words out of my mouth was "where is her @$$" he said she had stayed with her h, like he wanted her to, yeah right, he didn't want her to leave her h thats why the bozo spent an hour in the car waiting for her to come out when he took her to get her stuff. Then waited another 20 minutes because when he went to the door after the first hour he found that she had undressed and gotten into bed with her h, he asked if she was staying there or coming with him, she said she was coming with him, he went back to the car and 20 mins later her h came out and told Mike she was going to stay with him. Then and only then did he come home, oh God cl that hurt so bad.<BR> It STILL hurts to know that he didn't care anymore more for me and our son than to expect me to put up with that. As you can tell this is STILL an issue with me.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Bozos_ Deb (edited September 17, 1999).]

#11569 09/17/99 10:40 PM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
C
cl Offline
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
Gads deb, that is a really tough thing to get thru. I think you are right, there were signs there! <BR>I would venture a guess that god made her stay with her h to prevent you from homicide (of either party). Wheweeee. <BR>But I think you are downplaying something that I can see from this side of the fence. Get the tomatoes-I am ready!! Look at the care he showed for another human being. He knew that the two of them had caused such a nightmare, but he still was not going to drop his responsibility in the mess. <BR>Obviously I would vote that he was temporarily insane to put anyone's welfare before that of his family, but he clearly had not lost his ability to care and feel. He was selfish but still caring. Make any sense? <BR>H just drove up, more later!

#11570 09/17/99 11:04 PM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,526
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,526
cl,<BR> No tomatoes, I just cleaned out the fridge, darn it.<BR> I know it may be a good thing that he cared about someone else, but cl, why couldn't he care for me, the night he left me for the wildebeast she kept calling, when he left he said " I have to go to her she's crying" I will never forget those words. I was crying so hard I could hardly breath, but I don't count with Mike, sad to say and yet he has proven it to me time and again. I just wish he would care for me enough to worry about hurting me, or where I was supposed to go or what I was supposed to do, or that I was crying.<BR> <P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 517 guests, and 92 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Limkao, Emily01, apefruityouth, litchming, scrushe
72,034 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0