I wanted to know if anyone could share what happend after the affair was exposed to the other woman's wife? What did OM do? what did his wife do? what did Your WS do?

Please explain the purpose of your question so we can better assist you. Are you the BS, friend, selected/volunteered/drafted 3rd party?

L.

duplicate post.

<small>[ July 09, 2004, 02:36 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Well, here is my story. My WH and OW hooked up while her BH was in Iraq.

When he came back my WH told me that OW had confessed to her husband. But I kept seeing them drive by (they were neighbors) and BH looked very happy. By the way, the A was still going on.

So one day I walked down to his house, and asked to speak for him a moment. I told him what was going on. He was very surprised. His wife had confessed that she went dancing with my WH and WH's daughter. That was it.

BH asked me if I thought there had been any physical contact. I showed him the motel bills, and cell phone records. But he believed me right away, because his wife was having no SF with him.

Now we are good friends.

I am the husband that recently exposed affair to OM's wife. I wanted to know of anyone's experience in exposure.

There are several experiences right here on MB. Believer's is one of them and there are more. This question is a fairly common one. Let's see who we can bring up to help you.

Is it possible for you to share more of your story or provide the link to where it is? Your motives are important as well. As a BS, the emotions run high and it is important to use the tools at our disposal correctly.

Thanks,
L.

<small>[ July 09, 2004, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Here is the link to my story.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=29;t=004490

I will be glad to let you know when I get ahold of the OMW. How did it go for you? What was your plan for the conversation? How did it go in relation to your plan?

I called the OM's Wife earlier this week. she had suspected that something was going on, apparently I wasn't the first person to call and inform her about her husband being involved in an affair. She even knew about my wife's name. She said that she lacked proof. I emailed her the emails that her husband had beend sending my wife. I had been keeping a log of information regarding messages that he had been leaving my wife at work. for close to a year. I'm debating on sending this information. Anyway i sent her the emails and she called me back and said that her husband jumped on the computer and erased them so that she could not see them. she asked if i could fax them to her. And shortly after I receive an email from her husband stating "you are quite adept at using the computer as well as the telephone. I want you to call me as soon as you get this message" Followed by 2 telephone calls to my house. ( I logged and recorded the telephone calls in case it is needed at a later date) I assume that someone is a little nervous. Anyway that's where I'm at right now. My wife has not said anything to me as of yet regarding my contacting him. She was supposed to cut all contact with this person which did'nt happen so if she does inquire, i'll just tell her "I thought you were'nt supposed to be in contact with him. So that's where i'm at as of now.

My WW told me that they were backing off to a professional level(since they work toghether). A week after this I recorded a conversation that made me sick. "Do me the honor to propose to you in a place and time befitting a woman as beutiful as you. I to see us in the future with a bundle of blue eyed joy." AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Dear Informant,

Believe me, his wife wants proof. We all want proof because we live in denial and false truths for so long. The problem is getting the truth to her. Remember that it will be as devasting to her to find out as it was for you to find out, so be discrete and consider her feelings.

I don't know about your situation with your wife. If she has agreed to be honest with you about everything from here on out, then her loyalty is to you. The problem is when you are the WS, you are not thinking clearly either. She may be facing demands from the OM to keep you quiet.

If course he's nervous. As long as he can live in denial and lie to his wife, he will be happy. The problem here is that the WS is always the one that is lied to. Deep down inside, she knows. I think we all know when our spouses are unfaithful, we just deny and believe their games.

Your wife must commit to staying away from the OM for your marriage to work. You must focus on your marriage. You have laid the seeds of doubt in the OM's W. If she knows that you have proof, chances are she will contact you for it when she is able. She wants to know.

I can't tell you how to get the information to her, but she now knows that you have it. Keep it safe. She'll contact you. You must focus on your wife and your marriage.

Let the OM sweat it out. It's his guilty conscience that is making him sqrim. Don't rush it. It will all come out in the end.

Only the strong survive

Informant
Love the name.

To answer the question on what happened...

1) I felt better. I hadn't told OM'sW when I discovered "EA" 18 months later when I learned it was PA I called her. My feelings of guilt for not having called her were lifted.


2) She didn't believe me. I did it over the phone. I should have driven to her house and wrang the doorbell. I think if she'd seen the look on my face as I explained the facts she would have a different attitude

3) OM denied it and said," he's alway had it in for me." What a crock of ...

4) OM'w W called my W to confirm.

5) they decided to work on their M and he hasn't tried to contact my W.

So when are you going to share the bad news?

cwmac

The more that I Read, the more that I am convinced that I made the right decision. Cwmac, i emailed the information to her, but she told me her husband jumped on the computer and deleted them. (after emailing me to call him) to myself i'm like what do you have to say to me. it's done. anyway i'm going to fax her the emails that i found he sent my wife. I want to send the voice mail messages that I got from her job, but that may have repurcussions because she did'nt know i had access to her voicemail at work, even though she no longer works there. But here's the thing. you know you work hard to try to make a decent living for your family. My wife wanted a new car she has a 2003 camry. i drive a 97. she wanted to stay home with our 2yr old so i let her quit work to stay home and this is the thanks that you get. By the way i chose the name "The Informant" because it took me almost a year of searching the internet, and investigating to gather the information to reach the OM's wife. All i had to go on was a cell phone number and a name. But my persistence paid off.

informant - Whether or not the OP's spouse believes you, now they have a head's up. Whatever their spouse says, they will be watching.

Informant - keep going. Get all the info to OM's W in any way you can. The fact she wants it is very positive for exposure on her side.

Have you exposed every where else appropriate?

Expose, expose, expose, expose, expose, expose, expose, expose, expose, expose, expose.

One other thing. When I first found out about the affair i went online and created a ficticious woman's name and contacted the OM online. He had no idea even to this day that this person was the woman's husband that he had been cheating with. I had been talking to him for month's as a woman even scheduling to meet him at a hotel for sex to see how far that he'd go..........
I have each and every email that we corresponded to even to him agreeing to meet the person at a hotel for casual sex.

That was clever and shows his true colors.

Be careful to preserve this so eventually you can show your W that his interests were not genuine.

Perhaps even do it again with a new name. Just don't push your luck.

WAT

Well TI, with that info you could even imply to the WS that the OM is bi. LOL!!!

Of course disclosing how you got that info c/b embarressing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

L.

LOL