when do you say enough is enough, and jus cut your losses?

i`m wondering that myself,i just want my wife back and will do anything but on the other hand i`ve thought about cutting my loses but i can`t see my life without her

You will hate this answer - but you will know when the time comes. Don't rush it. Later, you want to be able to look back and say "I tried to fix it, I waited as long as I could"
Time is indeed your friend.

informant - You will know the time to quit. I have been going through this for 16 months. WH always says he loves me, but won't give up OW.

So what do I do? I go on with my life. I have spent way to much time and effort on him. Now I have started enjoying life again. WH is on the back burner. If he ever gets out of the fog, I may want to reconcile, but I don't think so.

The main thing (like Redhat says) is to be able to look back 10 years from now, and know you did your best.

what about when u go to counseling, go to marriage seminars, books etc. and still the same affair is present for over a year?

I think it is called the law of diminishing returns. If you really put the effort in, and get nothing back over a long period of time, you will feel comfortable in moving on.

I wish that I had just gone on with my life, and not been so obsessed with the affair. Either WS comes back, or they don't.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by The Informant:
<strong> when do you say enough is enough, and jus cut your losses? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When? When your heart and mind finally get in sync and you see your situation as it really is. You are then able to decide with clear mind and a calm heart what you need to do. You realize you have the ability to move forward on your own for you and your family. You are willing to cut the ties that bind you to the now foreign and stranger character that your former spouse has morphed into. You realize that your former spouse is not the same person you married and you don't want the morphed version.

You will choose to wait for your true spouse to return or walk away from their life so that you and your family can be together (whether physically, emotionally or both).

Yes, you will know when you are ready and you can't push yourself to be ready. In the interim, you need to learn about you, your positive and negative points. See your true self and improve where you can and learn not to carry other's unwarranted guilt.

There is more but that s/b enough for you to know when.

JMHO,
L.