she said she might come home but she dosen`t know she might spend the night at denises but last time she did that was10 months ago and she slept with OM ,should i drive around after pub closes to see where she is staying or what???

Tough call in your condition it might not be what she really needs. Remember being needy is not attractive and how can you help not being needy...you feel like your losing your wife.

Being totally honest.

You should not go...but being me I probably would go..and maybe that's why I'm on MB fighting for my M... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Don't go you're really in no condition to say or do anything that will motivate her...she has to make the decisions to come home.

imho
Hard medicine but it must be swallowed

i feel badly for you. i wouldnt go if i were you. right now MY lousy rotten h isnt home, but i just threw him out earlier. i know it hurts. actually, im fighting the urge to go see if he's by ow house myself.....

4 the record it stinks just as bad if they're in the house..she's here but it's not her its some stange alien...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Dont go anywhere either of you...

Not worth it, and accomplishes zippo

<small>[ July 10, 2004, 04:07 AM: Message edited by: FamilyMatters ]</small>

im too tired right now anyway. so much drama at the house. hope you didnt go either, HS.

HS?
I hope you didnt go ... you're just setting yourself up to get hurt more...she's waffling...and she's not herself right now..

I hope you just ate something and your getting some sleep...someone should be <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

hey FM, i think he went.

no i`m still here and if i did go and she wasn`t at deises than that would open the wounds even deeper but i`m scared and don`t know wich way to turn ,if she has another PA tonightdo you think it`s over for good???

Yeah I think he went too...poor guy

I just hope he doesnt do anything he will regret..he hasn't eaten in 3 days and barely sleeping...not a good combination

This can't be healthy

well, ill check back tomorrow on him. he seems so distraught, i know the feeling, and 2 weeks ago, i would have got in my car and drove 45 minutes just to drive by her house looking dumb. im worried about HS though. seems he might do something crazy if she's by om's house.

i`m still here kitty i was leaving message at the same time

good. its hard to tell when you just get tired of being hurt and disappointed. i reached rock bottom today. just have trouble sleeping without H.

i undrestand totally how you feel its 4 am. here so i dont think she is coming home tonight what do you think of mssage i left acouple ago???

well, its 5 am here. its tough to say if " its over for good." that sounds so final. back up off her a little, if plan a doesnt work, (and it didnt for me) then as much as you hate it, the other option, plan b offers the biggest reward if it works. i just hope it works for me.

hi kitty, what do you think i should do i really want to make it work but the thought of her doing that again just about kills me.

frankly, i dont know what you should do. i didnt read all your other posts, do you guys have children, just out of curiousity?

she has 2 boys and a girl gl is 20 by is 10&17 ilove them very much my step daughter loves me to deathshe phoned tonight asking were mom is and i broke down then told her i was not doing good she asked were mom was i told her she was out with denise but she dosen`tknow about the affair or what mom is putting me through now i didn`t have the heart to tell her but i wanted to so maybe she could pull some magic strings but i don`t want to put her in the middle i think it would really hurt her.

i know a lot of people on this site tell you to tell everyone including the children, but i say not. i made the mistake of telling my D 12 that her dad was cheating on me and i have regretted it ever since. she took it almost as badly as i did. and its for her that i'm being strong right now. her dad's carelessness and bad treatment of us was my final straw. you'll find your final straw and then that will be it. i don't know who my H is anymore, and i dont want to know this person anymore.

Hey, you sound so much like me when I first found out. Listen, don't do what I did. I was all up on my wife asking, talking, begging for reassurances of her love.... on and on and on.... I was all up her butt ... so needy. It only made me feel worse, pushed her away from me, and made recovery harder. Back off of her, think about what you say before you say it. Read these posts, read the books and come up with a strategy and stick with it. I have done that (as best I can) and it's working for me.

If you want your marraige to work, then it's not over yet. Get in there and fight for your M. But the type of fighting I'm talking about is, whipping yourself into shape and win her back. I know if you think about that too much it will send you loopy. (Why would I have to "win" back a woman that would crap on me like this?) I know, but if you love her, then, that's what you have to do.

Out!