My AH moved in with his OW yesterday in Des Moines Iowa, we live with my sister here in Oklahoma. He said he is coming with her next weekend, and bringing a U-haul to get the rest of his stuff and finish moving in with her. He keeps saying that i am getting everything but his stuff. I don't believe him now. I do believe that I have the most wonderful part of this. I have our 3 children. It hurts so much. I still hope that eventually he will want to truly be a good husband, father, and person and maybe even reconcile. I won't give in to him having our 3 children around her or her 2 teenage children. She divorced a few years ago, and says she wants no part of our problems and won't get involved. Someone already hit her with a stupid and denial stick. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I don't like her, never even met her, not so sure I want to. He wants me to fight for him and I am not going to give him that ego boost. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I am going to go to DHS on Monday and file for child support. I then have to decide if I want to file for bankruptcy with him or file for divorce and then my own bankruptcy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> If I file with him then I can't file as abandoned spouse and he has abandoned his children for himself and her and her family. I have been praying that God make my AH and OW etc.. suffer in their sins. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I am not wrong in that (King David in Psalms) but I have to leave these matters in God's Hands. My AH wants to leave and be angry at me and the rest of the world, and blame me for everything. Well I am letting him go as hard as it is. I still cry over the loss of our marriage. Maybe if it is God's will AH will come around and change, and we can slowly with much help, reconcile. I have to go on and protect myself and especially our children.

I just need to pray for God's will and no longer pray for my own will to be done.

What elso can I do?

In God's Love,

Marie

Time to start Plan A. You can read all about it on the link in my signature line.

It will be good for your marriage if WH moves in with OW (with 2 teenagers yet). That will put an end to the fantasy. Hang in there.

Hello Luv,

Sorry you find yourself here, but MB is a good place to be when you are in the spot you are in.

I agree with believer, get into Plan A. Read up on it. Give it a shot. I have three teenagers at home and it ain't a pretty sight!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Let them wear you WH down. I give him a couple of weeks!

As for finanaces, I am here to tell you that bankruptcy will follow you for years. Avoid it at all costs, but if it is unavoidable, then seek one based on abandonment. Speak with a couple of bankruptcy lawyers to see what route to take. Compare what they say. Many offer free consultations so you have nothing to lose.

Try to look at saving your marriage and protecting yourself financially as two separate things. Your H is not willing to protect you or your kids, so you must do that. He'll thank you for that if/when he comes around.

But if you are forced into a situation, go there based on what will be best for you and the kids. Pursuing financial protection for you and the kids doesn't mean you aren't hoping for your marriage to heal. It just means you're smart!

As for praying that the Lord allow WH and OW to feel the weight of their sins, I am all in agreement with that. But also add a prayer that you can become the wife that will bring your husband home and that he will become the husband and father you desire in your heart.

~ Snow

<small>[ July 10, 2004, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: Snowbelle ]</small>