I think that WW does know that OM's back ground is no help.........

Melodylane, I always admire your well grounded and thoughtful advice. I will join you in sending prayers up for frank tonight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

thank you alot...............I pray alot for gods advice.........

Do you live in a state that considers fault in divorce cases? Some states will reduce the amount of compensation that a WS will receive if an affair caused the divorce. This may burst your WW's bubble in thinking that she will get 1/2 of your marital assets.

I do not believe that you are obligated to deliver your daughter to the OM's house in order for your WW to have visitation rights. In most cases, I believe that the non-custodial parent picks up and drops off the child from the child's place of residence. The OM's past record, as well as your WW's inappropriate conversations in front of her minor daughter, should have some impact on the divorce and custody arrangements. Tell your WW that she is free to visit your daughter anytime at your house, but not at the OM's house.

A separation agreement is what is needed at this time. Once you retain a lawyer, free or otherwise, have an agreement drawn up that put's your daughter's state of mind first. Have the agreement state that the OM will not block your number, as you may have to reach you WW in the event of an emergency.

If divorce becomes inevitable, plainly state that you are concerned that the OM may molest your daughter due to his past run-ins with the law. Also state that you do not view your WW as a fit parent and question her ability to be a good role model for your daughter due to her current living arrangements. Ask your daughter if she would rather live with you, as the court will consider that as well. If you win custody your WW may end up having to pay you child support.

Now is not the time to flounder. Be tough, but be fair. Your daughter is caught in the middle of a situation that may affect her for years to come. Your daughter should come first and then your marriage. Let your WW make as many threats as she wants. It may even help you if your WW gets upset, as the OM may grow tired of hearing her complain all of the time. I can assure you that the OM wants nothing to do with your daughter, she is a hinderance to his fantasy ride through the fog.

franked,
In MOST States there is a law for desertion. If your wife left the family home, to go and live with her OM, you need to get the ball rolling ASAP to protect your D.

SINCE your W deserted the home, hence deserting you and your D, you can probably get a temporary custody order, just by going down to your local courthouse and filing papers on your own.
All you need to do is call the the family law division in your town, county or city and ASK them what you need to do.

If you choose legal aid out of necessity, you may have to do some of the leg work yourself, as many of these agencies are overwhelmed but it certainly isn't impossible to do.

franked...get your ducks in a row and get started ASAP. Nomatter what we go through as spouses, our children's welfare should ALWAYS come first.

EDITED TO ADD: If you can get any of the nasty things she says on a recorder or voice mail, do it. Keep a journal of any and every incident that occurs, in which your D has been put in the middle for whatever reason. Evidence is what matters in court, not your word against hers.

I'll pray too...

<small>[ July 13, 2004, 12:07 AM: Message edited by: IWonder ]</small>