Some of history:
met 03-96 married 09-97 child born 06-99 H moved 03-03
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H moved out because he was not "in love" anymore.
When H moved my first reaction was anger, but after the first hour i thought that my reaction will hurt more my son and me than H. So decided to walk the difficult path of forgiven and became H friend (not very close, but a friend). He began to come home many times a week to see our kid and spent with us more time than he did when he lived with us .
Then i began to live my life the best i could and take life as it comes, i am ok with my actual life eventhough i don't think is the ideal life for me.
All this time neither of us dated other person, don't know why all i know is that i needed a rest from couples and needed to live at my own pace without someone demanding things from me.
Last night H phoned and asked me if it's OK with me to come back home and begin??? a life together again ...... I told him we better do this step by step, that i am agree if we found a strong reason to be together that is not our son. He agreed to work on it and here we are, we are going to begin to recover our marriage BUT i'am afraid to death!!! i don't think i'll be able to walk the same path again if this time it doesn't work!!! It hurt too much and the memories are still there!! eventhough i don't feel angry anymore or ashamed or guilty, but the memory of the pain is still there.
I don't know where to begin!!! It's like dating again and i don't know if i'm ready to do this!!!
Is it normal to feel that way? Maybe deep inside i don't want to change my life once more!! but on the other side maybe i owe this M a last chance!! Guys what do you think?
