Well finally retained an attny.

Wife asked about where papers should be served last Thursday and has asked, well, actuall told me I better move out soon, or she'll get a judge to order me out.

The attny said that WW hadn't filed yet, but he did find the attny who is representing her. He told me that I should file right now and beat her to the punch. Said I was in a better position if I filed first.

Whole thing made me nauseated. Just sitting there.

Sorry to hear that. What did he say about you being able to stay in the house with your kids?

Give yourself a pat on the back, 1FM. You may have felt sick, but you're doing the right thing.

I wonder if your W is playing divorce chicken with you. What does she have to gain by making you do it? If nothing, then why has she gotten an attorney but not filed yet? These things happen for a reason. Sometimes the reason is the result of logic in the foggified mind of a WS, unfortunately.

GC

File first. you have to protect yourself. It's just paperwork for now. She may come around before it's over, but don't let her screw you over. Please.

He tried to talk me into it. But I just couldn't do it. He said it was putting us at a disadvantage and what did I think was going to happen. I told him I didn't really know, but I wanted to say I was waiting for a miracle. How could I ever tell the kids I filed for divorce from mom. Even though she is the cheater. No I'll have to suffer if that is what it is.

I don't know why she hasn't filed yet. It does confound me a bit. I don't believe at all she is having second thoughts. Especially after the weekend fiasco. She is totally fogged over her internet friend. Fantasy and fairytales.

The attny told me not to move. And not to give her any reason to call the cops or claim abuse, even raising my voice. I have been an angel the last 3 months anyway. She has tried to provoke me daily however.

Believer, the attny did say that eventually a judge will say someone will have to move.

I feel like a mule. Just an animal to carry financial burdens with no right to anything else in life.

<small>[ July 14, 2004, 04:44 PM: Message edited by: 1Fla Man ]</small>

1Flaman,

And just how are you going to face your children when you lose them to her and she moves them to Las Vegas? What are you thinking man? If you love your children YOU must protect yourself or you will lose them AND your W. She may be playing chicken, but when you lose your children and get to see them a few times a year you will become just what you fear...a mule that simply provides money.

Do what your lawyer is suggesting, it is time YOU get out of the fog and realize that you are playing a very very serious game and second place is no place to be if you can help it. File first and then YOU have the options. I doubt seriously whether your kids will care who filed first, they know more than you realize.

Please listen to your lawyer.

God Bless,

JL

Your lawyer is being paid for his expertise, why retain him if you don't plan to follow his advice. You can always back out of the divorce before it becomes final if the situation changes. Your wife has made it clear that she put's the OM's interests above those of your family. You may want to put your house on the market. I think that she plans to have the OM move into your house and live with her while she uses money from the divorce settlement to support them both. If you sell the house, she will not be able to do this. You are playing chess now, plan your next three moves and don't dwell on her last move!

Dear 1Fla Man,

Today H had to take a new guy to give him some 1 on 1 training in his courier work. During their trip today, H learned that this man's XW moved out here and in order for him to be near his kids, he had to move out here with no job prospects. In order to accmodate his children's visitation schedule, he is working any job he can get.

Don't want that to happen to you. Please take the appropriate steps needed to protect your family's financial security. The miracle is already happening. You have your sanity and people who can help you. Don't be stubborn and wait for a bigger boat to rescue you from the flood of the A.

L.

I still think that this A is going nowhere. Now you know your legal rights. I don't see your wife moving and taking the kids. I think she would like you to get out of the house, but that is it.

Stick with us, and stay in Plan A for a little while longer.