Husband left home almost 3 weeks ago after d-day. It something I have suspected for a while and he knows I thought it was the OW all along. He has stayed at home only two times during these last three weeks. He calls 2-3 times a day to check in on me and see how I am. When we talk there is nothing decided. I feel like I am in limbo. He says he does not know what to do. He says he thinks he messed up too much and feels guilty and thinks it can never be the same.

He is still working at the place where he sees the OW. She is enjoying her life and has no cares in the world. Her husband knows what she is doing and does not care, as he does the same thing. I just found this out after a small conversation with him

I just do not know how to make H understand that we can work through this and we should not throw this away. He says he is not in love with OW and never was. He says he was not happy and maybe it was a way to get out of marriage. Granted, we have never fought, or argued and we have always had a good time.

Is there a chance that he just does not want to be married any more or do you think the A has him all messed up.

I just need to know what is going on soon. I am trying to be patient and give him time, but his things are still in the house, and he is not staying there. He is staying at a friends, which I know is true. He just keeps saying he does not want to do the wrong thing. But, he is not asking to get back with me and it seems that marriage is not his priority. We have been married 4 years and it seems he is enjoying being on his own again. He says he misses me and is sad, but I do not see it....

I feel for you... I too am in the same situation except we were living with ILs and I was the one who was told to leave. It's only been a month since my D-day and my H is still saying the same things except he won't say that he misses me. Give it time, try Plan A. I'm hoping things go well for you.

I am trying to be patient and give him time. I just feel like my life is on hold and that is not fair if he is just doing this to make up his mind and then it could be to not work it out.

All of my friends say I am a better person then they are, that they would have told him to get his stuff out until he makes up his mind. I am just not like that. I love him too much and I guess I know that deep down he loves me too and that the A has just confused him.

I am giving him a chance and hopefully he will wake up and see what we had and that marriage is not that bad. I just do not understand why he got married in the first place if marriage is not for him..He is not a drinker and really does not like clubs so I do not see him wanting to do that. Maybe it is still the guilt and/or he is still getting influenced from OW. What an evil W. I can get no help from her useless husband either, so I hope my husband wakes up soon.

Unfortuately us BS's are the ones left to live this life in limbo. My WH moved out almost two months ago. We still talk a couple times a week but it's not the same and I miss him so much. But I am staying busy and that helps. Get out, see your friends, go to the movies, go shopping, go to church, go for a walk, but do something. Sitting home alone wallowing in the self-pity will not help the situation.

I don't know if WH is still seeing OW and that is why he doesn't want to come home, or if he just doesn't want to be with me anymore. Either way he's not here and it sucks, but we have to go on.