Day two and D stayed with mom...I ask D if she wanted to call mom and she said she did not.WW did not call at all...........who knows whats going on in WW head.......I am scared.......Don't know what to do........

Frank,

Time to do your homework. Start by clicking on this link:

Orchid's thread of things to do <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

Frank, you are doing great so just hang in there and hold your ground. What are you most scared of?

losing ever thing...........My whole life has been turned up side down...........

Hey Frank, just remember, you are in a much more solid position than your W. She has not only abandoned you and your D, but she is having an affair. She has much more to fear than you do.

If you calmly hold your ground with your D, you will put great pressure on your W's affair. She has no money and the OM sounds like he is getting fed up with all that. And now he gets to hear all about problems with her child.

I think the worse thing you have to fear is her temporary ANGER because you are not at her beck and call anymore and won't sacrifice your D to her whims. But you can handle her anger, Frank. You have handled it for a very long time, haven't you? Might as well have your self respect and the safety of your D in the bargain.

Hey Frank,
be strong, hang in there, things are going exactly as they should right now.

Your D has seen you take a stand to protect her and make other arrangements for her during the day. You are the stable parent in her eyes. She does not want to call her mom because she sees that it will upset the stability that you are trying to provide. Very good.

Your WW has not called because she is trying to figure out why her threats and demands did not work. You did not cave and now she realizes that you are not going to give her what she wants and enable her affair to continue on her terms. Also, very good.

I would guess that reality has hit the affair relationship in a big way. The OM wants your W, not a 10 year old around to get in the way. Now your W is upset about not seeing her and they are probably fighting about it. The little fantasy is falling hard.

The important thing here is that you do not digress to the relationship that you had last week. DO NOT give in to her demands. DO NOT be afraid of what you could lose. YOU are in a good position here as long as you keep your head on! Focus on keeping your D safe and providing a good home for her.

I know that you are also facing the reality of permanently losing your W and feel lost. You cannot make the decisions for your W that she will have to make if the marriage is to be recovered. It may, it may not. Your role as a father stands if you are married or not.

Take care of yourself, you can only control the issues of your D right now, the marriage and tha affair are something that will have to take some time to play out...Hang on and trust yourself to make solid, adult decisions that will affect your D for years to come.

^bump^

Melody and LadySing are so right!!
Frank hang in there friend I know you can do it.