Yup...still not there. nearly 2 months after my WW moved out into her own home. The lawyers seem to keep tweaking the separation agreement. Then we wait for the letters to inform us of the changes. We individually discuss the changes, come up with a compromise and inform the lawyers. The cycle starts again.

I was just informed that her lawyer is going on vacation of the 15th. If we don't have it signed by then I don't know how much longer to wait. I want to have this done by the end of the month. Our son's B-day is on the 26th. I do not want to be there smiling in front of friends and family that everything is OK and I am perfectly at ease being "chummy" with my WW. Remember, she's involved with a married OM as well! That’s 2 families on the verge of destruction.

So in the end, I may forego waiting until the agreement is signed. I will redo the PBL as the last one seems stale now really seems to reflect the efforts of a spouse working to build a marriage when really all I have been able to do for the last 2 mos. is avoid LB’s. I will likely shorten it and drop it off just prior to my son’s B-day. I cannot do this on the lawyer’s timetable any longer

Her behavior is changing too. She has the children for the month of July, me for August. I went for a week to work on our (mine now I guess) cabin. She called a couple of times to a) tell me about the horrid weather back home and b) make sure someone kept in touch with me in case I got injured and I couldn’t get help. This is odd behavior given the venom I received from her shortly after D day. Of course I let my imagination get carried away and think she’s starting to come to her senses. I know, pretty skinny stuff to give me that idea, but it’s the most I’ve gotten in ages. Of course I come home and get the lawyer’s message about additional changes to the yet unsigned agreement and the tensions rise again and so on and so forth.

I speak to my MIL almost everyday. She is so pro marriage and is on her daughter all the time about restoring her family and getting back to God. That woman seems to be the only one besides me fighting for this union. She thinks her daughter is looking very haggard these days. Maybe life on her own isn’t all she thought it would be.

Rant continues....

I am really disappointed with some friends of ours as well. Things I thought I said in complete confidence has found its way back to WW. Lesson learned, keep my mouth shut. These same friends seem to make sure WW has a smooth transition into her new home as well. A lawnmower purchased for her and then lying to me about why it was bought. Or fixing things for her. It seems there are no consequences for her behavior. .

O.K. still with me? A question, WW asked for child support today. I gave her a check last month with the amount as specified in our separation agreement, anticipating it being signed promptly. Today I told her I wouldn’t pay until the agreement is completed, possibly prompting her to expedite the process. I told her she would get back pay when it gets signed, trying to dangle the carrot. She was not impressed.

So, did I screw up?

Binder -

Your wife needs child support. It should not be withheld for any reason. Your children need support.

Yes beleiver, that's a good point. I will rethink that.

I would never let them do without. I want to be clear on that. WW is working extra shifts and actually is taking home more money than me right now. They are not want for anything.

Give her the child support. When you have the kids, does she pay you support? I know you are a good dad, I saw your ice fishing picture.

No she doesn't pay me.

I recall in SAA however, that the example used there Jon withheld money from Sue on the advice of Harley when he began his Plan B.

Are you in Plan B? I just think that you should pay child support. Why doesn't she have to pay you?

Not in plan B yet...

WW works partime, but she works a lot of overtime as of late. Her job permits her to work 24 hr. shifts and sleep at woork. It'ts easy for her to cluster her shifts and still have days without kids or work to see OM. She also teaches some courses on the side as well.

She has more paid benefits, and fewer deductions as her pension isn't as good as mine. It translates into more cash in her pocket at the end of the day though her annual income as stated on her tax forms is less. Child support is calculated off that.

I'm going over there now to give her the check. Even the hint of being a deadbeat dad has me disgusted with myself.

Binder - You are not a deadbeat dad. In fact seeing how you respond to all of this makes me want to throw rocks at my WH.

Listen to believer...i want to throw a house on my WS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ...give your wife the child support.

I know part of you still wants to save this marriage. Doing plan B does not guarantee WS comes back but it is guaranted to heal YOU.

Gave her the money.

She's off to the mountains today with SIL and FIL, both know the situation and seem perfectly accepting of it. FIL left MIL for OW and SIL is the product of that marriage. The OW then left FIL for another man. I think infidelity is hereditary.

I'm starting to think I'm not going to wait for the lawyers to finish their wrangling. I'm tired of analyzing every exchange I have with WW. I'm taking our son to the soon-to-be-mine cabin on the 23rd for a few days, I may give the letter when I pick him up.

Hi Binder - I'm still paying attention to your sitch, but I have nothing more to suggest. You're doing well.

Oh, one thing. I think you need to find a place to fish that requires sunscreen rather than clothing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

WAT

<small>[ July 14, 2004, 10:02 AM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

Heya WAT, thanks, that was a family fishing derby on March 21 of this year. Taking my son out for three days next week for some trout out of water you can't walk on.

Appreciate you checking up on me. I'm obviously stuck in limbo here and just need to hear myself yap. I gotta move on though, all that's left of the agreement is the dotting of the i's and crossings of the t's. I can't be chummy anymore, I snapped at WW last night when she asked about how to re-registering the car in her name. Told her I'm not a cafeteria where she can take a little of this and that and none of this etc. Time for me to gracefully bow out of this tragedy, while I can still leave a positive image, then let this pick it’s own course.